lonelygirl15 is the new JT LeRoy/James Frey/Kaavya Viswanathan

 lonelygirl15from the New York Times via Gawker.JT LeRoy, another imaginary person

<— lonelygirl15 became a bit of a thang on the Internets recently for her cool, articulate, and moving video blogs about teen angst, hope, fear, and honesty.

Too bad she’s fake.James Frey, a million little whoppers

Honestly, “the lighting is better than most vlogs” is all the critics could come up with before this mea culpa. Did not one person notice that her makeup was professionally done as well? Very few 15-year-olds are that good with the cover stick. This is an historic day in Fake Artistedom.

Isn’t it some kind of felony to impersonate a teenager online? KV, can't be bothered to look up the spelling. After all, who needs to know who she is anymore?I thought the FBI had agents on that…

A Message From The Creators

To Our Incredible Fans,

Thank you so much for enjoying our show so far. We are amazed by the overwhelmingly positive response to our videos; it has exceeded our wildest expectations. With your help we believe we are witnessing the birth of a new art form. Our intention from the outset has been to tell a story– A story that could only be told using the medium of video blogs and the distribution power of the internet. A story that is interactive and constantly evolving with the audience.

Right now, the biggest mystery of Lonelygirl15 is “who is she?” We think this is an oversimplification. Lonelygirl15 is a reflection of everyone. She is no more real or fictitious than the portions of our personalities that we choose to show (or hide) when we interact with the people around us. Regardless, there are deeper mysteries buried within the plot, dialogue, and background of the Lonelygirl15 videos, and many of our tireless and dedicated fans have unearthed some of these. There are many more to come.

To enhance the community experience of Lonelygirl15, which you have already helped to create, we are in the process of building a website centered around video and interactivity. This website will allow everyone to enjoy the full potential of this new medium. Unfortunately, we aren’t programmers. We are filmmakers. We are working furiously to complete the website, and hope to have it up and running shortly.

So, sit tight. You are the only reason for our success, and we appreciate your devotion. We want you to know that we aren’t a big corporation. We are just like you. A few people who love good stories. We hope that you will join us in the continuing story of Lonelygirl15, and help us usher in an era of interactive storytelling where the line between “fan” and “star” has been removed, and dedicated fans like yourselves are paid for their efforts. This is an incredible time for the creator inside all of us.

Thank you.

Yes, and it’s an even more incredible time for the bullshit detector inside all of us.

THE definitive YouTube Manifesto!!!

from culturekiller, creator of the immortal Simpsons/Star Trek theremin/Rhodes piano/kitchen funnel mashup, which got him a million or so views; this gonzo nutbar knows what the hell he’s talking about.

You like the big brother huh? You dig rubbish TV and Jessica Simpson, don’t ya? You hate culture huh? I’ll give you antiCulture.

Sheer genius.

Operation Global Media Domination: the network situation

TIASince Hurricane Lucy Gao hit, stats haven’t been nearly as much fun to check as usual. They’ve been bigger, juicier, and technically more exotic, but only half as much fun, because I always know that my top posts are going to be Lucy Gao‘s email, Lucy Gao doesn’t need a PA, she needs an enema, and Lucy Gao Revealed, plus Beautiful Agony, the Mentos boys, and Blackzilla, which I did not realize was the name of a popular line of porn flicks when I posted it.

No, really. I didn’t.

But now it looks like the hurricane is finally winding down, and to that I say it is ABOUT FUCKING TIME!

Yes, I liked having 3300 hits a day. I liked being the #2 blog on WordPress. But I’d rather be loved for my entire blog than just for five frickin’ posts, people!!! What good is it being the Pavarotti of the goddam blogosphere if all people ever see is Lucy Fucking Gao and their beloved mango porn??? Eh? I ask you that!

In any case, it appears that the storm has abated and I have managed to keep nearly 50% of my new readers, although 10% of them have only come by googling “vanityfair.com,” for which I am the #2 result. And I’m kidding myself if I think I don’t owe it, in some sense, to Lucy Freaking Gao, who even got me a link from CBS News, FFS y’all! Even though it’s only half as good for hits as a link from the front page of WordPress. Shhhh, don’t tell the producers!

I have also learned, from my comments on Chartreuse and Guido‘s blogs, that references to the size of one’s breasts are excellent for hits, although moreso with Americans than with Brits. Benny Hill was born in the wrong country, Itellya.

In any case, I am inexpressably grateful to Graydon Carter and Vanity Fair for knocking that snobbish intern off her throne and giving me, at last, some surprises in the Stats page.

Hail our new #1 post! (which we know we owe entirely to people searching for Suri Cruise pix, but we’re not real choosy over here if you haven’t already noticed)

no state funeral for Steve Irwin

Steve and some critter 

UPDATE IN THE COMMENTS SECTION: Film at eleven?

Although Australia offered a full state funeral, in accordance with his status as a national hero/monument/insane mascot, Steve Irwin‘s family have decided to have a private funeral for him.

from The Australian, via an Absolute Stranger.

Australian
07 Sep 2006
STEVE Irwin will be buried in private after his Crikey!family declined offers of a state funeral, with his father Bob yesterday saying the international celebrity should be remembered as an ordinary bloke.

The laconic, slightly built retired reptile farmer was obviously grief-stricken but he faced the public because it was what his “mate” Steve would have wanted.

Similarly, he declined offers by Prime Minister John Howard and Queensland Premier Peter Beattie for a state funeral.

“He’s just an ordinary bloke and he wanted to be remembered as an ordinary bloke,” said the 66-year-old Mr Irwin, whose two-year-old grandson Bob was named after him.

As Queensland police yesterday locked footage of Irwin‘s death by stingray in a safe, his manager John Stainton said the film was so harrowing it should be destroyed to prevent it ever being made public.

If you go to the front page, you can see that this post has, get this, 4100 comments. For a man who didn’t blog, that’s one hell of a blogstorm.

Scoble on flamewars for fun and profit

Scoble scobleizing. You can't see the cleft hooves in this pic 

This is brilliant. Someone is paying people to post flamestrikes against Robert Scoble over at Payperpost, and Scoble is all, like, bring it biotches!

Everyone else has cooler flamewars than me.

Payperpost continues its “hit campaign” on Scoble

As long as you guys keep linking to me I’m happy that someone is paying you to post. Heheheh!

Speaking of which, if you wanna get paid to blog there’s a lot better way to do THAT than get paid a few bucks to post. I know of a few companies right now hiring bloggers. I don’t even have to link to them. I bet that within a few minutes someone will post a link to the sites that are listing jobs for bloggers.

For everyone else: PayPerPost is paying people to link to me and make fun of me. Damn, why didn’t I think of that?

;-)

Fuck that. Why didn’t I???

Flamewar alert warning