punchline o’ the day: Gawker on 9/11

Illuminati 9/11: The Card Game! 

Yes, sometimes it’s definitely worth reading all the way to the bottom, particularly when you’re dealing with a really snarky website. Usually Defamer takes it in this category, but refreshed from their unnamed-reason sabbatical the regular Gawker editors are back on top. So to speak.

Under no circumstances should you read them “The Pet Goat”

As September 11 nears its inevitable reappearance on our calendar, Sara Berman at the New York Sun wonders how we’ll tell the children. A private school counselor gives her some advice:

“You’ll probably need to be the one to start the conversation with your child,” he said. “At dinner or at some other quiet time you could say something like, ‘Five years ago, something very sad happened to our country. You might hear people talking about September 11th and I want you to know what happened on that day. Bad people flew airplanes into important buildings. Lots of people were hurt and lots of people were killed. Just like we remember happy things every year, like birthdays, we also remember very sad things.'”

You know, the same way they explained it to the president.

British government censors itself

it could happenSelf-censorship is the most dangerous and insidious kind of censorship, as well as the most risible. Here we see a perfect example of a snake swallowing its own tail and vanishing in a puff of laughter.

BoingBoing reports that the British government, as part of an initiative to encourage and demonstrate connectivity and technological sophistication at a deep level in public service, has posted a video to YouTube. Well bully for them.

Because another branch of that selfsame department whose incredible culture of communication has “released efficiencies by standardisation, simplification and sharing, broadening and deepening of government’s professionalism in terms of the planning, delivery, management, skills and governance of IT enabled change,” has contacted YouTube and gotten the video removed, because it was posted without permission of the copyright holder. Itself.

No, I’m serious. Here’s the report:

UK government censors YouTube vid it posted itself

The UK cabinet office has censored a video that another branch of government had previously posted off of YouTube — ironically, the video was about how the government could be more coordinated:

A video called Transformational Government can no longer be viewed on the site, instead users get a box of red text stating: “This video has been removed at the request of copyright owner COI Television because its content was used without permission.”

COI Television is actually part of the Cabinet Office and the further irony of the video being about transformational government was not lost on one critic.

A spokesman for independent body Public Sector Forums, told silicon.com: “The COI is part of the Cabinet Office. So it looks like the Cabinet Office’s initiative has fallen at the first hurdle and ironically, it’s thanks to a lack of joined-upness between parts of its own ministry.” LINK

May I just note the fact that we already have a word, “connectedness,” which not only expresses the same thought as the expression “joined-upness” but also sounds far less like it came from someone taking remedial breathing class for the second time.

For those who love to slow down to look at traffic wrecks, here is the link to the dead YouTube. Nobody cared enough to stick it on GoogleVids; I checked. For those of you who prefer to watch wrecks in progress, here is the remaining video in the series. The clock is obviously ticking on this one, though, so get your chewy, bureaucratic joined-upness while it’s hawt!

the phallic logo awards

I was trying to class up the blog for the newbies, but let’s face it: I just have a dirty mind.

That’s why I’m posting about the Phallic Logo Awards, from B3TA, whatever that means. No, I KNOW what “phallic” means; it’s the TLA with a silent 3 I don’t understand. But then, it’s the Internet; you’re not supposed to understand it!

The game designers across the nation are playing is; can they design a logo and get it approved without the client realising it’s a big spurting penis?

We asked our readers to send in the best cock logos from around the world for our team of experts to evaluate. Now we present to you the very cream of the cocks.

Czech sausage ad. No, I'm not kidding. It's a Czech sausage ad. For reals.

Who: Czech sausage company
Pros: Great 1920s transvestite oral sex action.
Cons: Two meat. No veg.
Cock mark: 46%…

And so on…do not omit scrolling right to the bottom, for the Exxtra Bonus Muff Diver Award.

Who: Pride in Oldham award scheme
Pros: Tiny, tiny dwarf man going down on a lady in a peephole bikini.
Cons: He’s starting with her bellybutton.

No, seriously, you gotta see this!

cartoon o’ the day: blogdogs

Blog Dogs. On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog, particularly if you use Photoshop on your profile pic

the Simpsons vs Star Trek

From a WordPress blog I can’t seem to find at the moment; sorry, if it’s you, leave a comment and I’ll update the entry.

The Simpsons theme meets capitan Kirk. Performed with Rhodes piano, Theremin and funnel.

What he does not say is that it’s performed by a COMPLETE LUNATIC! I love this whackjob, and so do 380,000 other people, primarily sexy Scandinavians, according to the YouTube stats. I bet he never has to suffer through a chilly Arctic night alone.