- Enjoyed a long display of over a hundred of mine host’s wedding photos, with detailed commentary, despite the fact that I was at the wedding and am, indeed, featured in about 25% of the photos. But the babies dancing are cute.
- Led an animated discussion on the merits of the elephant versus the rabbit vibrator, pointing out obvious advantages of the former, to which Metro replied, “You know why elephants don’t pick their noses? Because where are you going to hide a 30-pound booger.”
- Devoured at least 750 ml of Sauvignon Blanc, followed up with some kind of pilsner, which is the order in which one should consume them, as by the time the gas from the beer has hit, one and one’s entourage are far too drunk to actually care anymore.
- Hit the mall. Trust me, in this town, that’s a big deal. Blogworthy indeed.
- Acquainted mine hosts with the fact that one of the premiere scrapbookers in the U.S. of A. is Blair, from Facts of Life, blogger Lisa Whelchel herself. Her blog’s not half bad, by the way, if you can stand happy Christian housewife types.
- Missed the Gawker Kristallnacht entirely. Bugger. Jessica‘s a better writer than Jesse, and snarkier, but what they really need is a proofreader, not a co-editor. Unless they’re still hiring. HI, NICK! Darling…
- Had nothing more than a crust of bread for breakfast AND lunch this morning. Shocking, really. Metro and Master Cowfish have a lot to answer for. For which to answer. Whatever.
- I’ve finally had it with middle-aged men who want to get into blogging but who insist on having their assistants do the writing, and subsequently letting the post ripen in their email inbox for a week, after which it is run through a character and interest removal algorithm before being posted, because they want to be part of this “New Media Thang.” Bust a sphincter, post a first draft, and see if your world really is insecure enough to fall apart as a direct result. Surprise me; I don’t think your life is that interesting.
- Getting cranky, time for bed.
Category Archives: Blogging
What I did on my summer vacation: Part the First
- I dreamed I was cleaning out my ears with bobby pins. I’m sure it wasn’t the beer; it was the heat.
- I saw Rattlesnake Island, where Eddie Mansour came to grief, ultimately snapping and taking the staff of the Canadian Embassy in Lebanon hostage, because that is what you do when a clique of white good ol’ boys ruins your dream of a camel-shaped resort (with bonus pyramid!) on Okanagan Lake.
- Saw Eddie’s Castle (or Eddie’s Folly) the monstrously tacky, 70’s style, pink stucco B&B overlooking Rattlesnake Island, where Eddie slowly, and against all odds, recovered his wits and lost what remained of his fortune. If memory (of his autobiography, From Nuthouse to Castle) serves, several suites had circular beds, one was revolving, and of course there were heart-shaped jacuzzis. Available now for a round $1million, it looks as if it is haunted by the ghost of Robert Goulet: one balcony has fallen off entirely, sliding down the cliff face onto the highway. The once-beautiful view is marred by the semitransparent mist of organisms growing on the windows, and the land is slowly falling, piece by piece, into the lake. It would be a wonderful place to retire and slowly go insane. Perhaps I shall save up enough one day.
- I saw a double rainbow over Westbank and can now definitively state that the rainbow ends at Canadian Tire. Picture to follow.
- My only goals for this vacation were A) a sunburn and B) a hangover. A was accomplished the first day. And the second. I have high hopes that Winery Tour Day will allow me to tick off B as well.
- I can now identify, having towed it for several hours, a ’61 Nash Metropolitan.
Happy 4th of July!!!
We all celebrate in our own unique ways. Some of my friends to it by firing off fireworks, eating BBQ, and drinking pisswater. My family does it by making sure the cannons at Windsor are still pointed across the river. I do it by posting anti-Bush videos from YouTube.
My neighborhood:
Another Windsor hits the headlines
Honorary Lance Corporal William Windsor was
stripped of his rank this week after attacking
the arse of a military drummer. The regimental
goat of the 1st Battalion Royal Welch regiment,
otherwise known as “Billy”, refused to march
———————–
What do you call an unemployed goat? Billy Idol.
What do you call a goat at sea? Billy Ocean.
What do you call a goat that mimes? Billi Vanilli.
—————————————————–
>> Don\’t look back in anger <<
Christina Aguilera needs charm school
Christina Aguilera has always had a diva
attitude – arriving hours late for everything,
big demands, feuds with everyone from Mariah
to Kelly Osbourne.
Now with the release of her new album she\’s
learned a new trick. During promo interviews
she\’s refused to look at any journalist.
Instead, the diva insists that the interview,
for which she\’s usually two to four hours late,
takes place in a dimly lit room, where she sits
and stares in the other direction completely
to the journalists while they ask, and she
answers, questions.
—————————————————–
Hoffwatch: Dave is today receiving treatment at St
Thomas\’ Hospital, after leaving the Sanderson Hotel
in an ambulance. He "cut himself shaving", apparently.
—————————————————–
>> Belgian buffoonery <<
Jean-Claude just can\’t kick the habit
“,1] ); //–> and stay in line during the parade at the
Episkopi garrison, Cyprus, and ended up
headbutting a group of military drummers before
attacking them with his horns.
Now bad boy Billy has been demoted and has lost
the perks of his rank, such as being saluted.
—————————————————–
What do you call an unemployed goat? Billy Idol.
What do you call a goat at sea? Billy Ocean.
What do you call a goat that mimes? Billi Vanilli.
Mentos and Diet Coke 2.0
Well after all that, Revver allows embedding. Too bad WordPress doesn’t allow it, or I’d post the “approved by producers” version here. All I can do instead is link to it on Raj’s blog here.
For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s a video by two mad scientist types (one is allegedly a mad lawyer/scientist!) of a frolicing fiesta of fountains of diet coke and mentos.
Enjoy. And if you figure out how to embed it in a wordpress blog, let me know.
