Category Archives: Blogging

Canadianism: Two Solitudes indeed

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I can’t believe I went to the hottest restaurant in New Westminster and they had two televisions hanging from the ceiling, playing curling. I don’t think I live in the same country as the rest of these people do; this is a cultural divide that cannot be bridged. It’s all very well for me to lord it over Americans and the English, yammering on about PC and Relativism and Pierre Trudeau, but there is, let’s face it, no multicultural initiative that can allow the curling fans and the I-suppose-they-call-us-mundanes to coexist. Hence Newfoundland; it’s a 21st Century sort of reservation/theme park for curlers.

When I get back to Vancouver, I’m sneaking into Delilah’s and not leaving until they throw me out and given how their clientele normally behaves (to say nothing of the staff) I may be there for the rest of my life, sustaining myself on smoked oysters, olives, lime wedges, and vodka-infused apricots. That’s all the food groups, right?

In any case, after several years on the Downtown EastSide, if there is nothing else I know, I do know how to give Canada what it wants:

Hockey Joke

Operation Global Media Domination: “and unnamed friend” edition

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Apparently, if you use the Blue Yonder UK search, my blog scores very highly when you are searching for the term, “Viggo Mortensen Got a Girlfriend.”

I’m sorry to have to dissappoint you, but I have no comment at this time.

Viggo Puppets

We’re just good friends.

Spam: FINALLY!!!!! A New One

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At last, one I haven’t seen before:

From: Joanne Goodwin joanne.goodwin@yahoo.co.uk Signed-By: yahoo.co.uk

Reply-To: raymond.ho1@tiscali.co.uk

To: raincoaster

Date: Mar 21, 2006 10:45 AM

Subject: Business Opportunity!

Date: Mar 21, 2006 10:45 AM
Subject: Business Opportunity!
I have a new email address!

You can now email me at: joanne.goodwin@yahoo.co.uk

Hello,
My name is Joanne Goodwin and I am an artist. I have acquired your email address as a person who is actively involved in or is looking for an online business opportunity or looking for a part time job to compliment current earnings. I live in United Kingdom, with my two kids, four cats, one dog and the love of my life. It is definitely a full house.
I have been doing artwork since I was a small child. That gives me about 31 years of experience. I majored in art in high school and took a few college art courses. Most of my work is done in either pencil or airbrush mixed with color pencils. I have recently added designing and creating artwork on the computer. I have been selling my art works for the last 3 years and have had my work featured on trading cards, prints and in magazines. I have sold in galleries and to private collectors from all around the world.
I am always facing serious difficulties when it comes to selling my art works to Americans, cos they are always offering to pay with a US money order/check, which is difficult for me to cash here in United Kingdom. I am looking for a representative in the states who will be working for me as a part-time worker and i will be willing to pay 10% for every transaction, which wouldn’t affect your present state of work, someone who would help me receive payments from my customers in the states. I mean someone that is responsible and reliable, cause the cost of coming to the state and getting payments is very expensive,i am working on setting up a branch in the states, so for now i need a representative in the united states who will be handling the payment aspect. These payments are in money order/check and they would come to you in your name, so all you need do is cash the money order deduct your percentage and wire the balance back. But the problem i have is trust.[ed note – no shit]

It wouldnt cost you any amount, you are to receive payments which will be sent to you via Fedex or UPS courier services from my business patners, which would come in form of a money order/check then you are to cash it and send the cash to me via western union money transfer or moneygram money transfer, all transfer fees should be deducted from the money. If you are interested, kindly get in touch with my secretary Raymond Ho, (raymond.ho1@tiscali.co.uk). Thanks and God bless.
Joanne Goodwin,

Lady Lever Art Gallery

Port Sunlight Village

Wirral, CH62 5EQ

England

-Joanne Goodwin

Welcome to the Blogroll: Geoffrey Chaucer Hath a Blog

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Very much in the spirit of yesterday’s advice column, we present Geoffrey Chaucer’s Friendster Blog, including the fabulous Aske Chaucere section.

Q: My betrothed, a most wicked man, betrayed me near as bad as Tereus Chaucer Gifdid Procne. His woman of choice commited, though, that villainy which women do best, and tempted him away. Presently it is not legal, where I live, to have either of them killed for this treachery — what shall I do to avenge the wrong they both have done to me, and to my virtue? Their joy at my grief does pain me so.

Cor Fracta Est

 

A: Ma Cher Coeur Brisee

Thoughe y love a goode revenge tragedie as much as the nexte guye, y muste counsel yow to a bettre path. Yow sholde maken pece and kepe faithe, not wyth thyne betrothede nor wyth this womanlie Diomede, but rathir with yowrselfe. For vengence aperteneth and longeth al oonly to juges. Remembre yow that pacience is a greet vertu of perfeccioun, and remembre that ther are tymes ordained unto al thynges by the first moevere — of the ookes, and of the hard stones, and of man and womman seen we also, in youthe as well as age, alle shal be dumped , a kyng as shall a page – som dumped on dates, som dumped by telephone, some dumped in compaignie, som dumped allone – ther helpeth noght, al goth that ilke weye.

And thus, take two pintes of hagen dasz dulce de leche, a ful seson of buffie the vampyre slayre, and calle me in the morninge.

Le Vostre G

 

Today in Squid News: Squid Tech

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squidooI’m not actually sure what Squidoo does, but they get in here just for the name. If you can figure out how lenses differ from tags, let me know. Also, if you figure out how there is money to be made here, also let me know. The comments button is right down there, just past the Australian Giant Squidwreck.

Squidwreck