Category Archives: Canada

marketing ploy o’ the day: Lakehead University

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Hmmm, wonder what that says?

Hey, that’s kind of a nifty-looking poster. Wonder what it actually says.

Let’s take a closer look, shall we?

Yale Shmale we say to the male

Graduating from
an Ivy League university
doesn’t necessarily mean you’re smart.

Lakehead University, a teensy-tinsey little school out in the boondocks near my aunt’s place (which actually describes all of the places near all of my aunts, come to think of it, except Dodie) has come up with a killer of a marketing ploy, if a bit late for September registrations.

A little background; it’s not exactly Ivy League, but it was considered appropriate for His Royal Highness Randy Andy when he did his time in the Colonies. It has a vaguely preppy, vaguely party reputation, but the draw for parents is that it’s so isolated you can’t really end up passed out at Younge and Bloor at dawn; that they assume you’ll dedicate your time to studying instead of drinking is a testament not only to their optimism, but also to the scarcity of really good booze up there. When I went to university, Lakehead had about 2500 students, roughly as many as my sister’s high school.

Apparently, they’ve decided to do a bit of outreach and in this their historically quirky, smartassed attitude has done them proud. Check out the Yale Shmale website and, if you’re still looking for something to do in September, keep them in mind.

We wouldn’t want you to end up like that guy in the poster!

FurtherMore Marketing Tips for Hookers

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From the Archive, see also Part One:

Friday, September 20, 2002

5) Look for Synergies

It’s an entertainment business. Look for ways to leverage other entertainments and marketing efforts. Comme ca:

a) The MinuteLube had a sign: IN AND OUT IN FIFTEEN MINUTES, SATISFACTION GUARANTEED.

There was a hooker standing under it.

b) When the Canucks were in the playoffs, you could see every hooker in Mount Pleasant wearing Canucks tees, which is fine, but one large Native woman took it even farther, holding up a large sign that offered “free extras” if the Canucks won. I wonder what the extras were…

never argue with a woman

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From Mistress Cowfish:

Never Argue with a WomanOne morning the husband returns after several hours of
fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar
with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her
book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls
up alongside the woman and says, “Good morning, Ma’am.
What are you doing?”
“Reading a book,” she replies, (thinking, “Isn’t that
obvious?”)
‘You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,” he informs her.
“I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading.”
“Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you
could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you
up”. “If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual
assault, “says the woman.
“But I haven’t even touched you,” says the game warden.
“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all
I know you could start at any moment.”
“Have a nice day ma’am,” and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It’s likely she
can also think. Send this to four women who are thinkers.

I Wish I Was a Lesbian and Not a Hetero

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Continuing Canadian Gay Chick Day on the raincoaster blog, here’s a perky Loudon Wainright tune. I’m pretty sure Canadian Gay Chick Day is a national holiday or something and it’s not just because I got it into my head when I was at Tinseltown. Isn’t it the Out on Screen Festival as well?

I applied for a job there once, but I was too breeder. Oh well. They were nice about it but basically told me if they had ANY gays apply, they’d go ahead of me in the queue.

Which reminds me of an old Starbucks story, but that’s perhaps for later. It appears the experiment to sleep at “night” and be awake in the “daytime” has been a failure.

kd lang does Sesame Street’s greatest song, “I Love Trash”

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