Don't blame Canada, blame American television!
Growing up I obviously couldn't decide which of these two to use as a role model and so used them both, ending up the mixed-up bitchfest of luv that I am today. No, seriously…do you know me? And does this not explain all?
No wonder I turned out like this:
The Fuggers have done it again. Leaving alone Kate's horrific tit job stretch marks (nobody should have stretch marks there) they have gone straight for the freeze-dried jugular. I can hardly wait till their standards are lowered enough to cover Ann Coulter.
Adam: Dude, this chick is craaaaaazy.
Kate: Do you think her hair is prettier than mine?
Adam: I think she is from hell.
Kate: That outfit makes her knees look bloated. THAT is why the only liquid I eat is lemon juice.
Adam: You scare me.
Kate: I'm famished. Got any Tic-Tacs?
Adam: I have no idea why I am here.
Kate: Or, God, I'm so hungry I could even be really decadent and have a sugar-free Life-Saver.
Adam: I'm sure I could rustle up a cracker.
Kate: What? What kind of shit is that? A CRACKER? I'm supposed to eat starches now?
Adam: Seriously, I have no idea what I'm doing here.
Kate: What are you trying to do, fatten me up on the eve of my big movie release? BOLLOCKS TO YOU.
Adam: The rapping genie girl is starting to look better and better to me.
Added on June 23, 2006, 08:57 AM
by ParamountClassics
Provided By:
Director:
Peter Avanzino
Producers:
Claudia Katz, Geraldine Symon
Producers:
David X. Cohen, Matt Groening, Richard Sakai
A Terrifying Message from Al Gore (01:23)
–> From the creators of Futurama comes a terrifying message from Al Gore. An Inconvenient Truth is now playing in theaters.
I hate being sick. All the interesting shit in the world happens when I'm home, sick.
Proof: behold who Raj ran into on the last Vancouver Martini Tour. As for me, I was home in bed developing an intimate acquaintence with the Norwalk Virus.
Henry looks poleaxed in all probability because he knows I could not be there with him. Yeah, that's it.
Raj: Hey, would you kindly spit on my head?
Henry: What?
Perez Hilton, for being the first gossip columnist and/or blogger in history to have a sex toy named after him. Now at least one blogger in the world is consistently going to be having sex, if only by proxy. Surely this is the field's equivalent of an Oscar or Nobel. His parents must be so very proud. Don't miss the always-respectful comments; it's so silly that spammer says he likes dogs. Perez is so obviously more of a cat person.
And it even matches his pretty eyes!
Some people get sandwiches named after them; Perez gets a sex toy!!
We were honored and amused when the folks at Booty Parlor told us they wanted to name a sex toy after us.
Bright, powerful and unisex were the key words we told them, and they came up with the Perez, Jr. (pictured above). It's waterproof too!
The only thing greater than having a sex toy named after you is having sex and since Perez hasn't been doing much of that, The Perez, Jr. will come in handy.
Click here to get yours today!
P.S. Whenever you use it, just think of Brad Pitt. Or Angelina Jolie. Or both….at the same time!
also, don't hold your breath waiting for the Gawker coverage.
raincoaster 