Operation Global Media Domination: Irish Poet Edition with Bonus Irish Poet Story

I am in the unfortunate position of having to report that Irish poets, even Nobel Prize winners, are to hits as Ebola is to cardiovascular health. We’ve dropped in popularity by 68% overnight. Seamus better watch his back if he ever gets to Vancouver, that’s all I’m saying.

Frank McCourtSo Frank McCourt was on Conan O’Brian’s Conan O'Brianshow, and he was of course telling a story, as every Irishman is compelled to do in company of another Irishman or even Irish-American, or even, it must be admitted, in the presence of nobody more than just the voices in his own head.

The story goes like this, more or less. I shall paraphrase recklessly. I spoze I could look it up, but I’m a blogger, not an effing researcher!

Frank: So I used to teach at New York University. Are you listening, Conan?

Conan(rapt): Huh? Yeah!

Frank: Good. I used to teach poetry at NYU. Are you paying attention, now?

Conan: What? Yes!

Frank: Ah, that’s good then. And you know, there were lots of nice young people, and some older ones, you never knew what they were doing there, who used to be my students, because I used to teach, you know. Poetry. I was a poetry teacher. Conan!

Conan: I AM LISTENING!

Frank: Good to hear. Yes, so I was a poetry teacher, and one day, years later…this is the important part, now…

Conan: FRANK! I AM PAYING ATTENTION!

Frank: Excellent. So one day I’m walking down the street in New York, and I run up against a fellow who used to be one of my students. They leave…they go on…I never see them again…So. I asked him what he was doing now. “Well,” says he, “Your teaching really inspired me and now I’m a poet, Professor McCourt.” “Well that’s grand,” I say, “Is it going well?” He says, “No, I’m fucking starving!”

Conan: You know Frank, you were brought on to elevate the show…

Crediting Poetry: Seamus Heaney’s Nobel Lecture

Seamus HeaneyFrom NobelPrize.org. See link for full text and Realplayer recording.

Here is a snippet:

*

One of the most harrowing moments in the whole history of the harrowing of the heart in Northern Ireland came when a minibus full of workers being driven home one January evening in 1976 was held up by armed and masked men and the occupants of the van ordered at gunpoint to line up at the side of the road. Then one of the masked executioners said to them, “Any Catholics among you, step out here”. As it happened, this particular group, with one exception, were all Protestants, so the presumption must have been that the masked men were Protestant paramilitaries about to carry out a tit-for-tat sectarian killing of the Catholic as the odd man out, the one who would have been presumed to be in sympathy with the IRA and all its actions. It was a terrible moment for him, caught between dread and witness, but he did make a motion to step forward. Then, the story goes, in that split second of decision, and in the relative cover of the winter evening darkness, he felt the hand of the Protestant worker next to him take his hand and squeeze it in a signal that said no, don’t move, we’ll not betray you, nobody need know what faith or party you belong to. All in vain, however, for the man stepped out of the line; but instead of finding a gun at his temple, he was thrown backward and away as the gunmen opened fire on those remaining in the line, for these were not Protestant terrorists, but members, presumably, of the Provisional IRA.

*

It is difficult at times to repress the thought that history is about as instructive as an abattoir; that Tacitus was right and that peace is merely the desolation left behind after the decisive operations of merciless power. I remember, for example, shocking myself with a thought I had about [a] friend who was imprisoned in the seventies upon suspicion of having been involved with a political murder: I shocked myself by thinking that even if he were guilty, he might still perhaps be helping the future to be born, breaking the repressive forms and liberating new potential in the only way that worked, that is to say the violent way – which therefore became, by extension, the right way. It was like a moment of exposure to interstellar cold, a reminder of the scary element, both inner and outer, in which human beings must envisage and conduct their lives. But it was only a moment. The birth of the future we desire is surely in the contraction which that terrified Catholic felt on the roadside when another hand gripped his hand, not in the gunfire that followed, so absolute and so desolate, if also so much a part of the music of what happens.

Podcast: Radio Nobel Prize Lectures

From NobelPrize.org

Recordings with Literature Laureates

If you follow the links below, you will find the sound recordings in Real Player format. Next to these recordings are the speeches or lectures also found, in their full length, in text format.

Pearl Buck

William Faulkner

Bertrand Russell

Ernest Hemingway

Halldor Laxness

Albert Camus

Salvatore Quasimodo

Saint-John Perse

Ivo Andric

John Steinbeck

Mikhail Sholokhov

Yausnari Kawabata

Alexandr Sohzhenitsyn

Pablo Neruda

Eugenio Montale

Saul Bellow

Isaac Bashevis Singer

Odysseus Elytis

Czeslaw Milosz

Gabriel García Márquez

William Golding

Claude Simon

Wole Soyinka

Joseph Brodsky

Camilo José Cela

Octavio Paz

Derek Walcott

Toni Morrison

Kenzaburo Oe

Seamus Heaney

Dario Fo

José Saramago

First Class for Second in Command

What Dick wants, Dick gets. This is what Dick wants in his hotel room. Notice there is no requirement for the staff to warn him before approaching from behind; perhaps he’s using rubber quailshot now?

From The Smoking Gun:

MARCH 23–After posting the performance contracts of artists like Bruce Springsteen, the Rolling Stones, and U2, The Smoking Gun has finally obtained the backstage demands of a real rock star. That’s right, below you’ll find a copy of Vice President Dick Cheney’s standard “tour” rider. The document is provided to hotels where Cheney will be bunking and lists how the Republican pol’s “Downtime Suite” needs to be outfitted. While the vice president’s requests are pretty modest (no extract-the-brown-M&M demands here), Cheney does like his suite at a comfy 68 degrees. And, of course, all the televisions need to be preset to the Fox News Channel (what, you thought he was a Lifetime devotee?). Decaf coffee should be ready upon his arrival along with four cans of caffeine-free Diet Sprite. And when Cheney is traveling with his wife Lynne, the second family’s suite needs an additional two bottles of sparkling water. Mrs. Cheney’s H2O should be either Calistoga or, curiously, Perrier, a favored beverage of French terrorism appeasers. The document, prepared by the vice president’s advance team, was obtained by TSG after it was provided to a hotel employee prior to a Cheney visit. When we asked Cheney spokesperson Jenny Mayfield about the document’s reference to gifts that hotels might leave in the suite for the vice president, she told us she was unable to address that question since she had not seen the “downtime requirements” rider (she asked for a copy, which we declined to provide in advance of its publication here). At our source’s request, we’ve blacked out the handwritten name and Washington, D.C. phone number of a Cheney staffer. As for the notations regarding extra lamps, specific newspapers, and a carafe, it is unclear whether they were added by an advance team staffer or a hotel official.

Click the link at the top to see the original document, with all its magnificently sharp, pointy clauses.

Cheney

Fug off

The Fuggers strike again! Take a gander at Courtney Love here…

Daffy Duck

Courtney Love's Beak of Death

 

 

 

 

 

 

Theriously, what you looking at?

How do you like my kicky little necktie? Ithn’t it totally Dreth for Thucceth as reinterpreted for the new millenium? No, Dreth for Thucceth. DRETH FOR THUCCETH! Thop acting like you don’t underthand me! I THREAR I WILL THROW THITH MICROPHONE THAND AT YOUR HEAD!