Only three and a half months till my birthday, people!

You didn’t come through with the Golden Mermaid for Christmas even though it was at the top of my list, right under the pony, so here’s your chance to make up for it (Metro and Mistress Cowfish excepted; anyone who gives me a bobbing squid to celebrate the birth of Our Saviour gets serious cred around these parts).

Today from Wisconsin comes news that the woolly mammoth skeleton discovered there in 1996 may be for sale soon. One only hopes Grampa Clem here isn’t aware of the current market value of this particular example of the Insanely Cool Knicknacks genre.

And practically speaking, if you’ve seen my living room you’ll know that adding a mammoth skeleton to the mess won’t make a bit of difference, crowding-wise. I may die under piles of stuff from my shelves, but at least the rescue workers will have a great time digging out the body. “Hey Bob, look at THIS!” “That’s nothing Lisa, did you see she’s got three of THESE? And they’ve still got their scales!”

A 76-year-old Kenosha County man in whose cornfield the skeleton of a mammoth believed to be about 12,500 years old was dug up in 1994 is interested in selling it, and officials of the Milwaukee Public Museum are interested in it.

“I’m just looking for some funds for my grandkids’ college,” John Hebior said the possible sale of the skeleton now in 15 large wooden crates and four plastic tubs in the basement of his farmhouse five miles west of Somers.

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