Record oil prices bring organized crime!!!!!

Oil Barrels, now sadly empty. Don't cry for me, Barcelona! 

From the Times of London, via their special correspondent in Barcelona. Seems that record oil prices have brought out the worst in some Russian gangsters, who are raiding, robbing, and reaping profits of up to $25 a barrel!

…at least 300,000 litres of one of Spain’s most valuable products were stolen. In the latest, thieves used saws at the weekend to cut pipes and siphon off 100,000 litres into lorries at El Olivo plant in Vilches, near Jaén, Andalusia.

Similar raids have been carried out in Málaga and Oil Can, don't cry for me, Barcelona!Córdoba. Police believe that the oil is diluted, bottled and sold elsewhere in Spain or sent to Japan or Russia

Julián Logroño, the president of the co-operative, said: “It is incredible. It had to be the work of a well-organised gang…”

The Russian mafia sure loves its olive oil, eh?

PSA: May Day

May Day! May Day! I'm Not Sure What Constitutes a Proper Celebration of Beltane Anymore!In memory of John Kenneth Galbraith, I suggest that everyone wear black on May 1, May Day, International Worker's Day.

If you want to hold ribbons and dance around a maypole too I suppose that's okay, but try to look dour while doing it, all right? And make them black ribbons, grosgrain if you have it, something matte. I'm really feeling the matte. And maybe you could sing something from the Bruce Cockburn songbook? "they call it democracy" would be perfect!

Here are the lyrics, ideal for happy, full-mourning maypole dancing on International Worker's Day, to commemorate the death of John Kenneth Galbraith:

Padded with power here they come
International loan sharks backed by the guns
Of market hungry military profiteers
Whose word is a swamp and whose brow is smeared
With the blood of the poor
Who rob life of its quality
Who render rage a necessity
By turning countries into labour camps
Modern slavers in drag as champions of freedom

Sinister cynical instrument
Who makes the gun into a sacrament —
The only response to the deification
Of tyranny by so-called "developed" nations'
Idolatry of ideology

North South East West
Kill the best and buy the rest
It's just spend a buck to make a buck
You don't really give a flying fuck
About the people in misery

IMF dirty MF
Takes away everything it can get
Always making certain that there's one thing left
Keep them on the hook with insupportable debt

See the paid-off local bottom feeders
Passing themselves off as leaders
Kiss the ladies shake hands with the fellows
Open for business like a cheap bordello

And they call it democracy
And they call it democracy
And they call it democracy
And they call it democracy

See the loaded eyes of the children too
Trying to make the best of it the way kids do
One day you're going to rise from your habitual feast
To find yourself staring down the throat of the beast
They call the revolution

IMF dirty MF
Takes away everything it can get
Always making certain that there's one thing left
Keep them on the hook with insupportable debt

Hunter S. Thompson on Richard Nixon: the greatest obituary ever written!

HST, the flag, and the convertibleReally, there's nothing like a writer who knows his stuff inside and out, has made the English language his bitch, and refuses to hold back in the name of "impartiality." More evil has been done in the name of impartiality than in the name of passion; just ask Hannah Arendt.

Hunter Thompson never pretended to be anything other than a razor-fanged partisan anarchist. Neither leftist nor rightist, simply Gonzo, he was as horrified by his own fondess for Jimmy Carter as he was by the tame White House press corps that gave Nixon a free ride for so many years. And he opens his coverage of Nixon's funeral with a passage from Revelation, as is only right and proper.

Read it and weep, both for the savagery and for the loss…nobody writes like this anymore. Selah.

HST makes sure Nixon gets on the chopper

Some people will say that words like scum and rotten are wrong for Objective Journalism–which is true, but they miss the point. It was the built-in blind spots of the Objective rules and dogma that allowed Nixon to slither into the White House in the first place. He looked so good on paper that you could almost vote for him sight unseen. He seemed so all-American, so much like Horatio Alger, that he was able to slip through the cracks of Objective Journalism. You had to get Subjective to see Nixon clearly, and the shock of recognition was often painful…

These are harsh words for a man only recently canonized by President Clinton and my old friend George McGovern–but I have written worse things about Nixon, many times, and the record will show that I kicked him repeatedly long before he went down. I beat him like a mad dog with mange every time I got a chance, and I am proud of it. He was scum.

Let there be no mistake in the history books about that. Richard Nixon was an evil man–evil in a way that only those who believe in the physical reality of the Devil can understand it. He was utterly without ethics or morals or any bedrock sense of decency. Nobody trusted him–except maybe the Stalinist Chinese, and honest historians will remember him mainly as a rat who kept scrambling to get back on the ship…

At the stroke of midnight in Washington, a drooling red-eyed beast with the legs of a man and head of a giant hyena crawls out of its bedroom window in the South Wing of the White House and leaps 50 feet down to the lawn … pauses briefly to strangle the chow watchdog, then races off into the darkness…toward the Watergate, snarling with lust, loping through the alleys behind Pennsylvania Avenue and trying desperately to remember which one of those 400 iron balconies is the one outside Martha Mitchell's apartment.

Ah…nightmares, nightmares. But I was only kidding. The President of the United States would never act that weird. At least not during football season.

Hollywood: A Primer

High Concept, Low Life ExpectancyNow this book is a fun read, particularly if you’re the least bit vicarious, and some of us have been known to vicariate, although perhaps only late at night, after a few drinks.

Because god knows, you’d never live through it.

High Concept, a biography of Don Simpson and an examination of the fatal cost of Hollywood self-indulgence, escapes beach-read status because it’s both non-fiction and wickedly well-written.

But enough reviewspeak, to the snippets!

“The entertainment industry does not require any thing of its inside people other than an ability to produce hit movies. It doesn’t ask its employees to be intelligent, educated, decent, honorable, fair, good-looking or ethical or ethnical: It only asks that they produce income-generating product.

And, as it does not require intelligence, education, decency, honor or fairness, neither does it reward those qualities. Hollywood is the place where one can overhear dialogue such as this, one morning at the Four Seasons Hotel:

Man #1: “You’re lying! You’re lying to me!”

Man #2: “Yes, I know. But hear me out.”

I love that quote. He’ll go far, that lad.

And now, for our more pharmacalogically-aware readers (more numerous than you think! Pharmacists are everywhere!) we present this toxicology roundup, a freakin’ fiesta of pharmaceuticals, from after Simpson’s death:

Simpson…was on a regimen that includeed multiple daily injections of Toradol, for pain; Librium, to control his mood swings; Ativan, every six hours, for agitation; Valium, every sic hours, for anxiety; Depakote, every six hours, to counter “acute mania”; Thorazine, every four hours, for anxiety; and lorazepam, every six hours, also for anxiety. He was also taking, in pill and tablet form, additional doses of Valium, plus the pain relievers Vicodin, diphenoxylate, diphenhydramine and Colonadine, plus the medications lithium carbonate, nystatin, Narcan, haloperidol, Promethazine, Benztropine, Unisom, Atarax, Compazine, Xanax, Desyrel, Tigan and phenobarbitol

One ten-day period in August 1995 shows Simpson’s pharmacy expenses at $38,600…

Police and coroner documents also show that Simpson was experimenting with prescription doese of morphine, Seconal, and gamma hydroxybutyrate, or GHB. These medications were being ingested, autopsy reports would show, in addition to large quantities of alcohol and cocaine

More ominously, Simpson was using heroin.

“More ominously” indeed. Cuz the rest of that stuff you can pop like Pez, eh? Given that they use carbs like cornstarch to bulk up pills, I think I can figure out why Simpson weighed three hundred pounds.

Brittney Kicks Ass!

Leela AND Brittney kick ass!I love stories like these.

Seems some perv in his thirties tried to grab 14-year-old Brittney Richardson, and she took her brown belt in karate and she whupped his sad, sorry ass.

Go Xena!

I mean Brittney!

"I turned and I hit him," she says.  "I just knocked this guy out."

She immediately ran away, and called police.

Her instructors couldn't be prouder.  "Brittney did exactly, step by step, what we teach," said Amanda Christensen.  "This fella found out you don't mess with her."

  "Karate is the best thing that's ever happened in my life," she says.  "I have to say that my training has been very effective."

Although Brittney will have a black belt in one year, she says in many respects she's a typical teenage girl.  "I'm the girl that's into boys, likes to talk on the phone, paints my nails," she says. 

Her would-be attacker has not yet been found.  He's described as a white man in his 30's, with bleached blonde hair, and blue eyes.

And two testicles that are probably retracted so far you can see them when he opens his mouth.

It's funny. I am an anti-war leftie, and that leads many people to conclude (quite incorrectly) that I oppose violence. I don't. Too Irish. I oppose oppression. So while I post against parents beating their children so hard as to leave marks for god's sake, I am highly in favour of children beating would-be rapists hard enough to leave permanent psychic scars. I don't do so out of any misguided belief that this will make the criminals better human beings, but out of a belief that if they get their asses handed to them enough times it will stop them from raping children. If only we could find something that would stop parents from assaulting them as well.

Societal behaviourism: it's a good thing.

Martha in custody