Category Archives: Culture

Shaolin Commuter

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Here's an epic battle between an infarct-ready Hong Kong businessman and a simpleminded kid (modern equivalent to Tolstoy and Shakespeare's "holy fool"). I think I'm rooting for the kid, but if you go on pure adrenaline and infarction potential, the old guy's gotta have your vote (along with Donald Trump's)A few choice exchanges have been excerpted below. From the Guardian.

There must be noise
but
our voices are the same
but
yes, did I blame you?
Aren't you good at fight? Fuck!
I've pressure,
You've pressure,
Why did you aggress me?
…
fuck yo momma
Nevertheless, don't fuck the mom
who then should I fuck?

Well, exactly.

It’s now possible to replace a defective, damaged, or diseased penis with a penis grown in a laboratory

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Good, now half my girlfriends will drop the losers they're dating.

From WebMD via FoxNews, god forbid I should link to Fox News, via Fark.

It's now possible to replace a defective, damaged, or diseased penis with a penis grown in a laboratory

Researcher Anthony Atala, MD, director of the Institute for Regenerative Medicine at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center, reported the findings at this week’s annual meeting of the American Urological Association in Atlanta.

"Our goal is eventually to treat infants and adults with birth defects, penis trauma, or penis cancer," Atala tells WebMD. "But this is a future goal. We are now deciding which animal model to explore next."

May raincoaster tastelessly suggest the horse?

Horse, baby!

one half of my audience speaks to the other

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Hands across the Atlantic…flipping the bird

Jon Stewart is such a hottie!

smorgasbord du scandale

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EnronFrom the Houston Chronicle via Fark comes a handy-dandy corporate scandal update, for those of you who haven't been getting these on Google Alerts since 1995. What better way to celebrate Enron Day than by updating yourself on the latest in poncho-clad perp walks? Click on the link for details of these, and update your Executive Rotisserie League choices accordingly.

CREDIT SUISSE FIRST BOSTON _ Former CSFB investment banking star Frank Quattrone, who made a fortune taking Internet companies public during the dot-com stock boom, was convicted in May 2004 on federal charges of obstruction of justice, after his first trial ended in a hung jury. The 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals overturned the conviction in March, granting Quattrone a new trial. The appeals court said the jury instructions in Quattrone's trial were erroneous.

QWEST COMMUNICATIONS INTERNATIONAL INC

ADELPHIA COMMUNICATIONS CORP

WORLDCOM INC

HEALTHSOUTH CORP

TYCO INTERNATIONAL LTD

MARTHA STEWART 

overheard on Dunlevy

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This is exactly how you can tell that where I live is nothing like where you live.

As I was walking home from the grocery store the other day, toting my wholesome load of carrots and peppers and low-fat-but-not-quite-skim milk, I passed the lineup for the Bread Jardin, so-called because "Bread Garden" is a well-known string of yuppie fast food cafes around town and they can't use the same name because God forbid and so do the lawyers. The Bread Jardin, however is what the Franciscan Sisters of Atonement call their breadline, which is actually a sandwich line, and good for them, as man cannot live on bread alone but requires turkey with mayo or at least some spam with mustard and lettuce one-st in awhile. And it so happened that on this day the Bread Jardin had yet to ouvrir. Alors, there was a lineup du pain. And as I passed said breadline, I overheard the unfortunately crystal-clear words,

Oh you know him! He's always wearing the proctology gloves!