From Defamer, cuz you just knew they were gonna be all over this story.

So it seems that the Australian genius behind Survivor isn’t completely immune to stereotypically uh…Australian behavior. He and his flying monkeys at the prodco have decided that what Survivor really needs is blatant racial conflict, and who among us can say they’re wrong?

I’m of the opinion that what it needs is a swift dose of euthanasia, but that’s just me…

Yes, this year for Survivor: Cook Island, they’re dividing the teams up by race. Simple, efficient, and already worth about 30,000 words of press.

The Defamer commentors have all the best lines in this case, not to mention the best illustration, which I stole and posted above.

BoHan says:

Scientology vs. Kaballah. That would rock. Plus you wouldn’t have to search to hard to find the token gay person. I’ve heard of one Scientologist today whose dance card is now wide open.

and the immortal:

Toothy_Tile says:

Welcome to CBS’ “Fun with outdated stereotypes and gross generalizations!” This will be a difficult one to handicap. With no cars to drive on the island, Team Asian‘s traditional achilles heel will be out of the picture. Team Latino will be pretty good at gathering the fruits and vegetables, no doubt. Team African-American will of course sweep the athletic challenges.

Team Whitey can go a few different ways, of course. If the team is mostly Jewish, it’ll waste its time starting conflicts and lending conch-shells-as-currency to the other teams, which will distract it from the challenges at hand. If the team is mostly Italian-American, expect the other teams to suffer random kneecap injuries, and lots of impromptu ways of cooking maggots and cockroaches in marinara sauce. And if the team is WASPy, expect it to get ahead by hacking into the other teams’ Sidekicks, spewing racial epithets all around, opening an outdoor nightclub or boutique hotel on the Westside of Cook Island, and gaining extra boosts of energy by doing lines of coke off of stray coconut husks.