Oh wow, I am just speechless with how wonderful this is. Not only is it BEN AFFLECK, someone who we’ve wanted represented here at Celebrities Eating for far too long, but it’s BEN AFFLECK EATING A FUCKING BIG MAC. High five, internet. High five.
Yes, it’s just what you think it is, although perhaps allowing Nicole Richie more webspace than you’d have thought, from the look of her. Still, it’s a site about celebrities eating, not celebrities keeping food down. via Gawker.
“A couple came up to me after it was all over and shook my hand and
said, ‘We’re from South Carolina, and we just want to thank you, that was the best bar fight and greatest entertainment we’ve ever had,’ ” said Scott Richard of Cody.
Forget Texas; don’t mess with Wyominginans either, apparently. Fark has the report of the best little saloon brawl in the West.
The fight broke out shortly after midnight in the Irma’s Silver Saddle bar.
“Somebody in the bar, as a joke, yelled, ‘Last call for alcohol,’ ” said Richard. A drink then got sloshed onto the ceiling, where it dripped onto an individual who took umbrage with the turn of events, he said.
“This skinny guy stands up and starts lipping off,” Richard said.
Amid an attempted apology, someone else threw a punch, and Richard said he stepped in to try to break things up but was also hit.
“And then all hell broke lose,” he said.
Casualties include a bartender, several participants, and one chair and table. No word on whether or not it was a wagon-wheel table, though.
Yes, it’s the well-beloved classic from the Arrogant Worms, as enacted by a group of landlocked Canuckistani teenagers. These guys are evidently so Saskatchewani that they can’t even find a puddle to use as a backdrop, and make do with a playground and some barns instead. All in the adaptive, piratical spirit of the original, it must be admitted.
The Last Saskatchewan Pirate
I used to be a farmer and I made a livin’ fine
I had a little stretch of land along the CP line
But times went by and though I tried the money wasn’t there
And bankers came and took my land and told me fair is fair
I looked for every kind of job, the answer always no
“Hire you now?” they always laughed, “We just let twenty go!”
The government they promised me a measly little sum
But I’ve got too much pride to end up just another bum
Then I thought who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone
I’m going to be a pirate on the River Saskatchewan….
Arrrrrgh!
Cause it’s a Heave! Ho! Hay! Ho! Comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a Ho! Hay! Hi! Hay! Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores
Well you’d think the local farmers would know that I’m at large
But just the other day I found an unprotected barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser
I rammed the ship and sank it and I stole their fertilizer
A bridge outside of Moosejaw spans a mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are aquiver
‘Cause they know that Tractor Jack is hiding in the bay
I’ll jump the bridge and knock them cold and sail off with their hay
Cause it’s a Heave! Ho! Hay! Ho! Comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a Ho! Hay! Hi! Hay! Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores
Well Mountie Bob he chased me, he was always at my throat
He’d follow on the shoreline but he didn’t own a boat
But cutbacks were a comin’ and the mountie lost his job
So now he’s sailin’ with me and we call him Salty Bob
A swingin’ sword, a scull ‘n’ bones and pleasant company
I never pay my income tax and screw the G.S.T. (screw it!)
Prince Albert down to Saskatoon, the terror of the sea
If you want to reach the Co-op, boy, you gotta get by me!
Cause it’s a Heave! Ho! Hay! Ho! Comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a Ho! Hay! Hi! Hay! Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores
Well pirate life’s appealing but you don’t just find it here
I’ve heard that in Alberta there’s a band of buccaneers
They roam the Athabaska from Smith to Fort McKay
You’re gonna lose your Stetson if you have to pass their way
Well winter is a comin’ and a chill is in the breeze
My pirate days are over when the river starts to freeze
I’ll be back in spring time, but now I have to go
I heard there’s lots of plunderin’ down in New Mexico
Cause it’s a Heave! Ho! Hay! Ho! Comin’ down the plains
Stealin’ wheat and barley and all the other grains
It’s a Ho! Hay! Hi! Hay! Farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on Regina’s mighty shores
That about sums it up.
In an interview with Baba Wawa on 20/20, Terri Irwin has said that she will not release the video footage of her husband’s death by stingray. This article comes from the BBC, via Trenchcoat Chronicles.
“What purpose would that serve?” she asked presenter Barbara Walters in an interview with US programme 20/20…
His wife … insisted his death was just a “stupid” accident – “like running with a pencil”…
The 42-year-old mother of two said her late husband knew he would not live a long life.
“He’d talk about it often,” she said. “But it wasn’t because of any danger from wildlife. He just felt life could be dangerous.”
As I said before, the wishes of the dead are to be respected, but not neccessarily obeyed. The film belongs to Terri Irwin and the film company, and it is their right to decide what happens to it.
Here is the tribute speech to Irwin by his daughter, Bindi Sue, who has her own television show. He was actually getting footage of the stingray for her when he died. She’s already stated that she has no intention of giving up on the show, but considers it carrying on the family legacy. Those are big boots to fill, kid, but judging from this it looks like you’re off to a good start.
So you might as well get some of those presents out of the way early. In case you’ve got any lonely and unpersonable men on your list, here’s the girl of their dreams, from eBay via Gawker: the Elizabeth Hurley fembot from Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.
Even though this version comes with a removable face (included!) and gun-mountable nipple ports, you can still exult in ample late-1990s Hurley cleavage. Only $1,500 on eBay, and no bids as of this writing. Get everyone in the book club to pitch in.
Update: Minimum bid is now $3,000. I guess even Fembots monitor their press!
raincoaster 