finger cymbals too loud? problem solved: crocheted zill covers

UPDATE: “Fans” tag added. Click through to the comments for a classic example of the pathology.

zills, yo, nekkid as God and Allah intended 

From the department of WTF comes these step-by-step instructions for making your own finger cymbal covers for the pampered, crocheting bellydancer that lives deep in your soul.

Now, it may surprise you to know that I have bellydanced; I would not characterize myself as a bellydancer any more than as a toothbrusher, but I’m better than a beginner even if that damn reverse camel still throws my back out (and I defy anyone to maintain a good seat on a reversing camel without damaging one vertebra, or at least snapping the elastic on it).

And I have zills. From Saudi Arabia. Smuggled in my mother’s luggage (I wish I could claim it was sewn into the lining of her fur coat, but what the hell would she be doing in Riyadh in a fur coat unless it was protecting herself from the omnipresent aggressive, Antarctic airconditioning, or even perhaps wrapped in her silken unmentionables, but my mother, glam though her latter years were, preferred unmentionables of practical and sturdy 100% cotton or sometimes even nylon, and all the colours of the beige Canadian rainbow, so yeah, maybe wrapped in a pair of buttercup yellow size L granny panties, woohoo, James Bond eat your heart out) or was it in a box marked “Sand” so the customs inspectors didn’t open it up? Yeah, either they have very stupid export customs inspectors in Saudi Arabia or the CIA is using “Sand” as a code word, and given the company my mother kept in Riyadh, I’m betting the latter and the customs inspectors have been told to lay off.

Zills. It’s a blog post about zill covers.

In any case, whether you’re a bellydancer or not, good or bad, the first thing you notice about zills is: they make a lot of noise.

It’s sort of what they’re for.

So we at the ol’ raincoaster blog were somewhat nonplussed and even subtractussed to see instructions for crocheting home-made zill mufflers, it being said that, lo, they were like, so way noisy.

Or maybe that’s just me.

the zill covers, back viewIn any case, the covers themselves are pretty enough, and in a nice, sparkly yarn might even add a tantalizing “you can glimpse the zill, but you cannot touch it” piquance to the zill-dancing experience, or perhaps that is only for those who identify too closely with inanimate brass objects, not that we know anyone like that around here.

the zill covers, front viewIn any case, the zills generally sound quite pretty even if you don’t know what you’re doing. We at the ol’ raincoaster blog can only pray that this twisted genius turns her attention next to something of more practical utility, such as:

  • violin mufflers
  • clarinet covers
  • accordion muffs
  • cymbal socks

Your suggestions?

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flashlights of the deep: The Giant Squid hunts with headlights!

Al Beeb's images of the squid flasher! 

A ten-tentacle salute to Juvenal for the tip. The BBC has obtained video and still photos of a beautiful Taningia danae attacking its prey. Its balletic movements are surprising in such a large creature, and its speed really rather frightening. 2.5meters per second is 150 meters per minute, which is really quite a lot faster than I can swim, which is why I and all sensible people like boats so very much. Also, they like to circle their prey like cats circle their beds before pouncing, presumably just to freak it out a bit or something. And, much like kangaroo and deer hunters of our upper world, they know that a powerful headlight is a hunter’s best friend.

Jack Sparrow got off easy!

Alas, the video is uncapturable so you’ll have to watch it on the site, or watch this pretty Vampire Squid light show instead.

…the intense pulses of light that accompanied the ferocious attacks surprised the research team.

Dr Tsunemi Kubodera from the National Science Museum in Tokyo, who led the research, told the BBC News website: “No-one had ever seen such bioluminescence behaviour during hunting of deep-sea large squid.”

The footage reveals the creatures emitting short flashes from light-producing organs, called photophores, on their arms.

Writing in Proceedings of the Royal Society B, the team said: “[The bioluminescence] might act as a blinding flash for prey.”

The light would disorientate [sic!!!! asshole semiliterate BBC writers!!!] the squid’s intended prey, disrupting their defences, they added.

It could also act, the scientists commented, “as a means of illumination and measuring target distance in an otherwise dark environment.”

And, say the scientists, presumably assist the squid to find a mate in the dark depths of the ocean. God knows when you’re on the prowl, the right lighting is crucial: just ask the Gabor Sisters! Or, come to think of it, any common or garden flasher.

Also useful for telling ghost stories to the calamari piccolo.

Ghost Cthulhu Pirate!

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knit tits!!!

pillows!

Take that, Stitch ‘n Bitch! Do it for charity! Liverpool Women’s Hospital in the UK is desperately short of boobies, and they’re counting on the knitters of the world to lend a hand.

The breasts are produced in a variety of skin shades.

They are used by community midwife teams to demonstrate how milk should be expressed, particularly for premature babies being kept in hospital…

Ms McFadden sourced the breast pattern from the Lactation Consultants’ Association.

She said: “You can buy model breasts, but they cost around £35 each, which is quite prohibitive, as we need about 50.”

Come on, people! Pick up your needles and bang out a boob! You may use cotton, and size doesn’t matter: no woolly mammoths required. Knit some knockers today!

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