Is FriendlyChemist my friendly neighbor?

The question is prompted by this post on Gawker, where I suddenly can’t comment anymore. Interesting; is this banning #7? Well, if it is, that’s the LAST time I try to add value to one of Adrian‘s posts. Anyhoodle, here are my thoughts on whether this Silk Road user and extortionist FriendlyChemist is a neighbor of mine in White Rock, BC.

FriendlyChemist, according to the article, threatened to out a list of online drug exchange Silk Road’s users, although whether he had actual addresses and real names or just usernames and PO Boxes is unclear. In response, Dread Pirate Roberts, the head of Silk Road, hired another user to kill him; the user reportedly sent back photos proving the deed, although the RCMP say no way was there a gory drug murder in White Rock. Is he really dead? Probably not; he probably posed for some pix and then split the money with the guy DPR (allegedly) hired to kill him. No honour among thieves and all that. If they’re in the drug business and they’re not using, they’re in it because they’re greedy; this is too good an opportunity to cash in for a businessman to pass up.

That’s the US you’re looking at there, Point Roberts to be specific. So if you’re an athlete, you can actually SWIM to the US.

Some background:  White Rock is walking distance to the US border. There’s a border crossing with guards and everything, but you walk not far east and you can just walk into the US with no problems. Blaine, on the other side of the border, does a HUGE business with mailboxes for Canadians, who like to order from US sites and get delivery to the US and thus avoid all kinds of taxes, duty, and shipping fees. It is a major, MAJOR smuggling point and also a lovely, upscale retirement community.

White Rock Sunset

White Rock Sunset

Does anything go in the other direction? You bet! The Bacon Brothers, Canada’s most notorious drug lords, are based out of Surrey, which is literally across the street from White Rock. Not too long ago they shut down a helicopter flight training school which was just a front for pot deliveries from nearby Harrison Hot Springs  (also lovely: come for the views, stay for the contraband!). And the Guardian famously profiled a commercial truck driver who smuggled pot over the border at the official truck border crossing nearby.

Could a major drug manufacturer be based out of White Rock? Probably not, since it’s almost entirely housing and upscale retail, but out of Surrey or any of the nearby semi-rural areas? You bet. And don’t forget that at one point it was estimated that over 80% of the heroin in North America entered via the Port of Vancouver. It’s just a part of the culture of the region to be drug-positive or drug-neutral. You can thank the increasing violence relating to organized crime for a recent turn against it in the public’s view.

Contest: win 4 tix to the Mosquito Creek Marina Boat Show in North Vancouver

Vangroover, people. Yeah, this is the view

Vangroover, people. Yeah, this is the view

Oooh, we’re back in Vangroover and feeling our oats (or maybe those were just the complimentary beverages at Social Media Week) and it’s no wonder: since we landed, we’ve been buried in swag, and it’s time to share the luv.

We have, on that note, four tickets to give away to the Fifth Annual Mosquito Creek Marina Boat Show that’s opened today and is on right through to Sunday. We’re lazy, and we assume you have either friends or family (not taking any bets on both!) and can roll with a posse. To win the tickets, you have until midnight Friday to post the best pirate joke in the comments here. I’ll email the winner shortly after midnight and you’ll be able to pick up the tickets at the gate.

Here are all the deets. Boats, by the way, rule: just ask Captain Jack Sparrow!

I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours

I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours

Thursday, September 22 – Sunday, September 25 •  Mosquito Creek Marina, North Vancouver
Mosquito Creek Marina and the British Columbia Yacht Brokers Association present the 5th Annual Boat Show at the Creek. Known as one of Vancouver’s largest floating boat shows, this event is great for families and all ages . There will be hundreds of boats on the water for viewing, marine vendors, yacht brokers and live performances by Jim Foster. Stop by on Saturday for a BBQ with the JRFM RoadShow Crew, enjoy a beer at the beer garden aboard the Celebration on Water, catering by Fishworks Restaurant and four full days of family fun. For more information, visit us online at

WHAT: Boat Show at Mosquito Creek Marina, North Vancouver

WHERE: 415 West Esplanade, North Vancouver, BC

WHO: All ages – fun for the family and kids

WHY: Destined to become Vancouver’s largest floating boat show

WHEN: September 22-25, 2011

Thursday – Friday: 12 noon – 6 pm

Saturday: 10 am – 6 pm

Sunday 10 am – 4 pm

HOW (MUCH): $12, children under 12 accompanied by an adult are free

Oh. So if you have you, a partner, and two kids, you can bring your babysitter and her boyfriend/girlfriend too!

Follow along on Twitter:

or check out the Facebook event page too.

Ladies and gentlemen, hoist your sails, weigh anchor and comment away!

World’s Worst Pirates

Yes, yes, we’re all about the pirates lately. You know you love it.

This is a Blogathon post. Don’t just sit there, SPONSOR ME!

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Post-Postathon Pampering

Wolverine is a big tipper

Having never participated in Blogathon before, I was unsure how to prepare, and consequently there are some gaping holes where my careful preparations should be. I brought, for instance, my travel kit of personal care products including shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste and toothbrush. I forgot, however, a towel. I suppose I could always air-dry?

And I’m out of gin. Yes, ALREADY.

As with my prep, so with my after-party; that is, I haven’t gotten it hooked up yet. I would assume that doing 48 posts in 24 hours (NOT 49, I AM TELLING YOU) would be deserving of a reward, one other than and in addition to the obvious one of sleep. Just what that reward could be, I haven’t really decided, except that it will involve making other people do stuff I could damn well do for myself. In fact, as long as it meets that criteria, it qualifies as what I want most. I mostly always want other people to do stuff for me, but rarely have the excuse to demand it.

Which, you may have noticed, does not stop me from doing so anyway.

I could get someone to help me clean my place, but a) it’s so big a job I’d have to help out, thus negating the not-lifting-a-finger thing, b) no way can I afford to pay someone to tackle this themselves, in fact I’m not sure Bill Gates has enough money. I mean, I know what’s growing under there; can I honestly ask some poor sap from MollyMaid to take that on? And can I afford to settle the wrongful death suits if she does?

I could get perfume, only the only perfume I like costs enough that it might as well be distilled from the beaded brow sweat of the collected offspring of Serge Gainsbourg, generated while they adapted Mozart’s Queen of the Night aria to a new rock opera to star Viggo Mortensen. Harvested under a solar eclipse.

So, yeah.

I could get a pirate hat. I look GOOOOOOOD in a pirate hat, not like some costumey dope; I look like some cross-dressing 17th Century chick on a mission of revenge, something that’ll change the course of history in the South Pacific forever. Not like this:

Pirates do tend to overaccessorize

But a cheap pirate hat is not a good look. So it’s either the expensive pirate hat, or the spa visit, I’m thinking. Or gin? Gin goes with everything!

This is a Blogathon post. Don’t just sit there, SPONSOR ME!

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The Truth About Pirates

Jack Sparrow

Sadly, the truth is, none of them look like Johnny Depp; they actually look exactly like that guy that asked you for change the other day.

The Beggar by Rembrandt

Oh, and it gets worse:

Pirates vs Pirate Movies

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