Dawn of the Ted

Not to be mistaken for the I’m-sure-all-very-well-in-their-own-way series of educational videos that have shamelessly bandwagon-jumped on this nomenclature.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Jake Gyllenhaal, Cthulhu Cultist!

ZOMG how did Nikki Finke miss this? It’s true! Reese Witherspoon‘s erstwhile boytoy and eternally-perky heartthrob Jake Gyllenhaal has been videotaped attempting to separate himself from the clammy embrace of illicit and unspeakable tentacles. We can only pray he makes it.

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Amusement Parks of the Damned 2.0

Only in Hiroshima, kids. Only in Hiroshima.

Where Are The Dogs Humping.com

Merry Cthristmas!

Carol of the Old Ones
lyrics over the jump

It’s that time of year again; the time when families gather together (no, not the reading of the will!) and share what it means to celebrate Cthristmas.

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fishmen
lyrics over the jump

We at the ol’ raincoaster blog have taken to this like Deep Ones to the ocean depths, decorating not one but four different Cthristmas trees. Which one do you like best?

Nyarlathotep, yo

The Azathoth tree

Chihuly Cthristmas tree

The Chihuly tree

Cthristmas Bonus!

The Squid tree

and the latest entry:

Cthulhu Tree

the Octophrost tree

Octophrost, in case you landlubbing types didn’t know, is the Santa of the Sea. Closely related to the Cascadian Tree Octopus, Octophrost brings all the good small fry of the ocean their presents, which he carries in a large ink sac.

Octophrost is made of snow and ice … instead of shooting out ink clouds to hide he shoots out a mini blizzard of snow, that he makes all the toys himself because he’s got eight arms, and other stuff like that.

Naturally. If Santa himself had eight arms, he’d get all that present-delivering crap over with in ten minutes, and the squalling little brats at the mall wouldn’t have a chance when they made a break for it.

Now let’s all sing some Cthristmas Carols!

[odeo= http://odeo.com/audio/3525903/view%5D

Blue Solstice
lyrics, also, over the jump

Continue reading

quiz: what Christmas movie is your Christmas most like?

Singing? I. Don’t. Think. So. The fact that I do NOT sing in public is proof that God exists and is merciful. Trust me.

Your Christmas is Most Like: The Muppet Christmas Carol

You tend to reflect on Christmas past, present, and future…

And you also do a little singing.

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

THIS quiz, on the other hand, is 100% accurate, thankfully.

You Are Most Like Heidi Klum

Girl next door vibe with top model looks

Which Victoria’s Secret Angel Are You?