Merry Cthristmas!

Carol of the Old Ones
lyrics over the jump

It’s that time of year again; the time when families gather together (no, not the reading of the will!) and share what it means to celebrate Cthristmas.

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fishmen
lyrics over the jump

We at the ol’ raincoaster blog have taken to this like Deep Ones to the ocean depths, decorating not one but four different Cthristmas trees. Which one do you like best?

Nyarlathotep, yo

The Azathoth tree

Chihuly Cthristmas tree

The Chihuly tree

Cthristmas Bonus!

The Squid tree

and the latest entry:

Cthulhu Tree

the Octophrost tree

Octophrost, in case you landlubbing types didn’t know, is the Santa of the Sea. Closely related to the Cascadian Tree Octopus, Octophrost brings all the good small fry of the ocean their presents, which he carries in a large ink sac.

Octophrost is made of snow and ice … instead of shooting out ink clouds to hide he shoots out a mini blizzard of snow, that he makes all the toys himself because he’s got eight arms, and other stuff like that.

Naturally. If Santa himself had eight arms, he’d get all that present-delivering crap over with in ten minutes, and the squalling little brats at the mall wouldn’t have a chance when they made a break for it.

Now let’s all sing some Cthristmas Carols!

[odeo= http://odeo.com/audio/3525903/view%5D

Blue Solstice
lyrics, also, over the jump

Blue Solstice

based on “Blue Christmas” by Billy Hayes and Jay Johnston, 1948, lyrics reworked by Elvis Presley
HPLovecraft Historical Society Lyrics by Sean Branney from the album An Even Scarier Solstice

Music to Blue Christmas © Billy Hayes & Jay Johnston
Blue Solstice lyrics, recording, all original content ©2006 HPLHS, Inc.
violators of HPLHS copyrights will be hunted by the Hounds of Tindalos through angular geometry

LYRICS

II’ll have a blue solstice, Cthulhu.
I’ll be so blue thinking what you’ll do.
Sacrifices of red on the blue open sea
Won’t mean a thing until you’re here with me.

Until your blue nightmares awake me
And all my blue angels forsake me
You’ll be down in your tomb,
In cyclopean gloom
And I’ll have a blue, blue blue blue solstice.

(spoken) Oh Cthulhu, baby, c’mon up out of that tomb. I can’t stop thinking about your huge flabby claws, them little wings of yours, that grotesque scaly body, and them big ol’ tentacles wrapped around me. Oh darlin’, I can’t go on without you.

You’ll be down in your tomb
In cyclopean gloom
And I’ll have a blue, blue blue blue solstice.

Carol of the Old Ones

Performed by The Dagon Tabernacle Choir:
Rebecca Marcotte, Digby Dolmen, J.D. Titan, and Walter Forsythe.

SOPRANO (LEAD) VOCAL

Look to the sky, way up on high
There in the night stars are now right.
Eons have passed: now then at last
Prison walls break, Old Ones awake!
They will return: mankind will learn
New kinds of fear when they are here.
They will reclaim all in their name;
Hopes turn to black when they come back.
Ignorant fools, mankind now rules
Where they ruled then: it’s theirs again

Stars brightly burning, boiling and churning
Bode a returning season of doom

Scary scary scary scary solstice
Very very very scary solstice

Up from the sea, from underground
Down from the sky, they’re all around
They will return: mankind will learn
New kinds of fear when they are here

Look to the sky, way up on high
There in the night stars are now right.
Eons have passed: now then at last
Prison walls break, Old Ones awake!
Madness will reign, terror and pain
Woes without end where they extend.
Ignorant fools, mankind now rules
Where they ruled then: it’s theirs again

Stars brightly burning, boiling and churning
Bode a returning season of doom

Scary scary scary scary solstice
Very very very scary solstice

Up from the sea, from underground
Down from the sky, they’re all around.

Fear

Look to the sky, way up on high
There in the night stars now are right)

They will return…

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fishmen

 It’s beginning to look a lot like fish-men
Everywhere I go;
From the minute I got to town
And started to look around
I thought these ill-bred people’s gillslits showed.
I’m beginning to hear a lot of fish-men
Right outside my door,
As I try to escape in fright
To the moonlit Innsmouth night
I can hear some more.

They speak with guttural croaks and to hear them provokes
A profound desire to flee
Their eyes never blink and quite frankly they stink
Like a carcass washed up from the sea.

I wish I’d paid attention to that crazy drunken man.
He tried to warn me all about old Marsh’s Deep One clan.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Fish-men
Everywhere I go;
They can dynamite Devil Reef,
but that’ll bring no relief,
Y’ha N’thlei is deeper than they know.
I’ll continue to see a lot of fish-men
That I guarantee.
For the fish-man I really fear
is the one who’s in the mirror
And he looks like me.
He looks just like me.

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16 thoughts on “Merry Cthristmas!

  1. Ever been in that sort of situation where to ask a question reveals the depth of your ignorance? This is how I feel now, but through the magic anonymity of the intratubunets, I don’t give a dump. So here goes: how do you pronounce Cthulhu? Once you stop rolling your eyes and tsk-tsking, you can tell me.

  2. Well the ‘a’ is just the whatchamacallit, schwa? The vowel that doesn’t exist. Your writing is more phonetic, I suppose.

    Lovecraft said no matter what, you couldn’t pronounce it correctly, because human throats were not made to pronounce such words!

  3. see Ian? not such a silly question after all. and one that had probably been on many readers’ lips for a long time

    (not mine – tetherdcow had already taught me how to say it albeit with an australian accent)

    I vote for the octophrost tree, it’s a winner hands down :-)

  4. Well, there you have it: at bottom, a cold is just The Great Old Ones attempting possession of your soul, and failing. It all makes sense once you have the facts…

  5. Pingback: Octomania « Ærchies Archive - The Curmudgeon’s Magazine

  6. Your Grace

    I flatter myself that I agree with Your Grace on so many Things – apart of course on whether a random Young Lady should continue as G-G in our Oldest Major Colony

    BUT

    I seem to have heard somewhere that Santa was originally from Turkey and is one of the Great Aslan’s men, rather than being (in Canadian Terms) a Conservative-Progressive

    Je reste le Vestre Grace’s Servant obedient etc

    L’Aigle Gris

  7. Dude, you’re awesome. I’ve been looking for at least SOME of the lyrics like mad! I’ve been listening to both CDs all Christmas!!

    Btw,
    Have a merry scary solstice and a most horrifying New Year’s Eve!!

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