Nietzschian monkeys hangin' in a bar, picking up chicks. This is why ARPANET developed opposable thumbs and the ability to stand upright: specifically so that one day it would be mighty enough to post this link. Bonus Squiddy goodness.
Category Archives: Movies
George of the Concrete Jungle
So have you heard the one about George Clooney? Not the Mr. X-ism, I mean, aren't we all perfectly aware that if he didn't Lothariorize Teri Hatcher he should have and if he did she's at least had that much more of George Clooney than the rest of us and bitch should just STFU.So not that one. This one:
George Clooney's Evil Plan Succeeds
On Friday, via an email sent from his publicist Stan Rosenfield, Oscar-winning ER doctor George Clooney commanded the masses to sabotage Gawker Stalker by sending us fake submissions. And oh, how they’ve responded to Clooney’s battle cry — our inbox was indeed flooded with hundreds of sightings, almost all of which were of George Clooney. We’re sure that’s exactly what he meant.
Just saw George Clooney at the Peninsula. He had a mustard stain on his jacket, was kissing a Mexican woman and eating a watermelon.
George Clooney has been sighted in Portland, Oregon! He was walking downtown by the Schnitzer Concert Hall and was wearing jeans with a hole in the knee (guess business isn’t too good!) and a long-sleeved grey/blue shirt.
i saw George in Philadelphia at Le Bec Fin’, a high end restaraunt in the heart of the city. He was very brief in his entrance and I believe he snuck out the back b/c i NEVER SAW HIM LEAVE THROUGH THE FRONT!
I saw george clooney outside the gawker.com offices just a minute ago.
Actually, that last one might be true. [Follow the
link and get] a taste of of the weekend email Clooneython, which has utterly destroyed our ability to grasp reality.
But, like, which would you rather have: reality, or George Clooney? Exactly. Meantime, here is one I sent in:
Saw George at about one this afternoon, turning tricks on Vancouver's Downtown EastSide, working the corner of Princess and Hastings. A couple of hours later he tried to get a burger at the Ovaltine Cafe, but he was drunk and sloppy and they threw him out. Later, I saw him helping a little old Vietnamese lady across the street. He stopped a Hummer with his bare hands.
Search Me: Gay pirate Kiwa Hirsuta and transvestite terrier spanking Clay Aiken and Ian McKellen in Narnia Porn watched by Nobel Laureates and the Starbucks Fatman Edition
Well, it's just odd is all. 
Someone has gone and listed me on a sex chat aggregator.
Welcome Pervs!
I do feel guilty, knowing that someone is out there, looking for the bone-eating snotflower and I deleted the link. Awwwwwwwww. I feel something else entirely knowing that someone is out there looking for Narnia Porn and they think they'll find it on this blog. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww. Mango Porn? I luv me some juicy mango action as much as the next chick, but doesn't it sting when it gets…places? You never see any lemonade porn, do ya? But I think I am becoming obsessed with this Fatman at Starbucks. Who can this be? Was there an obesity-related incident at Starbucks that made the news and I somehow didn't see it on Fark? Maybe somebody took their venti breve mocha into the bathroom, drank it, and then couldn't get out of the stall because his ass was too wide? It would make sense; do you know how many calories are in that thing?
When I worked at Starbucks we had one regular customer @ East Hastings. He always used to get regular milk lattes, but one day he switched and asked for non-dairy creamer instead of milk for his drink. Now, that was back in the days before God invented soybeans, or at least before the Asians were desperate enough to try to milk the wee buggers, so there was no soy milk. There was milk, there was cream, and there was non-dairy creamer. The ingredients list on most of those things reads like most of the alphabet except the vowels, interrupted for a "red lake #42" now and again, for the sake of liveliness I guess. They were made from oil products, and they were virtually 100% trans-fatty acids. It was essentially like drinking plaster for your arteries, but since most people only used a teaspoon or two, it wasn't a problem really.
Not this guy.
Now, the customer is not always right, but the customer generally knows what he wants, so we gave it to him. He didn't give off clueless vibes, so we figured there was a reason. One day we were chatting, and since I'm a nosy old bitch, I decided to ask him why he'd switched. "Oh," he says, "My doctor put me on a strict low-cholesteral, low-fat diet."
GACK. And Gack again!
It reminds me of the neurasthenic Woody Allen character who came into West Fourth one evening. She had the long frizzy hair, she had the trailing, patchouli-scented scarves, she had the pointer finger silver unicorn ring. And she asked for a "non-dairy, non-fat, no-egg eggnog latte. Decaf" Swear to god, "Decaf."
And I stared at her.
After a couple of minutes of watching me not get the notte, she asked me why I wasn't getting her the drink she had ordered.
"Because God didn't mean for that to exist."
Tables comin' up!
See?
| Search | Views |
|---|---|
| heritage grill vancouver | 1 |
| gay pirates | 1 |
| lysol feminine hygiene | 1 |
| viggo straight | 1 |
| the white man, the surrey international | 1 |
| HIS FIRST TIME | 1 |
Yesterday
| Search | Views |
|---|---|
| Pablo Neruda | 5 |
| sex chats international | 2 |
| Sandford Tuey | 2 |
| database of cheaters | 1 |
| "gay pirate" | 1 |
| "i am legend" literary analysis | 1 |
| 49 degrees, what king or dress | 1 |
| silly walk | 1 |
| raincoaster's real name | 1 |
| cocaine corner | 1 |
| announcement of Bonus | 1 |
| big fatman starbucks | 1 |
| voyeur web. com appy mountain man | 1 |
| clay aiken webcam | 1 |
2006-03-24
| Search | Views |
|---|---|
| "aki beam" | 4 |
| transvestite hang outs in bc ca | 2 |
| cool curling team names | 1 |
| clay aiken impersonator | 1 |
| sylvia lim bio | 1 |
| bone eating snotflower | 1 |
| his first time | 1 |
| lim hemingway | 1 |
2006-03-23
| Search | Views |
|---|---|
| vancouver porno | 1 |
| blue tiaras | 1 |
| baby | 1 |
| porn career shame | 1 |
| msn 9.11 | 1 |
| toy soldiers canada | 1 |
| John Paulus lies about clay aiken | 1 |
| canada | 1 |
| necktie | 1 |
| lord of wrestling | 1 |
2006-03-22
| Search | Views |
|---|---|
| colin thatcher applies for parole | 2 |
| "bustle skirt" sewing class | 1 |
| south park servants of the dark lord Xen | 1 |
| scientologists + saskatchewan | 1 |
| global t.v. vancouver "community announc | 1 |
| Pentagon's Defense Threat Reduction Agen | 1 |
| John Paulus | 1 |
| whitespot dinner and a movie | 1 |
| narnia (porno) | 1 |
| gay kilt sex | 1 |
| cocaine corner | 1 |
2006-03-21
| Search | Views |
|---|---|
| celebrity questionnaires | 3 |
| What kind of wolves live in Canada | 3 |
| what kind of beavers live in canada | 2 |
| hogwarts porn | 2 |
| Patrick Deuel | 1 |
| Villain Supply website what happened | 1 |
| Villain Supply website | 1 |
| "charlie sheen" and "pentagon" | 1 |
| ian-tracey | 1 |
| mango porno | 1 |
| cheap vodka canada | 1 |
| transvestite japanese schoolgirls | 1 |
2006-03-20
| Search | Views |
|---|---|
| phoebe cates | 2 |
| "General Jackson" tugboat | 2 |
| clay aiken drag queen | 1 |
| phoebe cates sex | 1 |
| Kiwa Hirsuta documented | 1 |
| vagina jack russell | 1 |
| british spankin | 1 |
| irish heather blog | 1 |
| good metaphors | 1 |
| "Shebeen Club" | 1 |
| Wuthering Heights screencaps | 1 |
Tables out!
Google Rules!
Well, not technically. Yet. But b3ta is running a contest to photoshop what the world would look like if Google ran it. The consensus:
It looks pretty good of you’re in school.
Not so good if you’re in China:
And really, really bad if you’re in the market for advice:
So, no change.
Oh! Canada!
There’s a reason they call them Mounties.
raincoaster 