loltrek, the lol of lols

i can has nerdgasm?

we has tribbles and also troubles

First there were lolcats (and note, please, that I am restraining myself from using lolspk here, or even l33t for verily, I am way dignified, yo).

Then there were lolgays. and gebrils. They’re big on gebrils. We even hear there are lolgeeks

Now, to complete the lolfecta for the grand prize, there is:

loltrek.

oh hai u want tribblz?

As if this grand conceit were not already pluperfect, please identify the source of the following vintage meme, for additional geek points and a free virtual propeller beanie:

oh hai, i has meme

and here is your soundtrack, for rocking and geeking out.

Numa, numa, baby!

website o’ the day: lolgays!

lolSanjina!

Join me, please, in extending a warm, tentacly, raincoaster embrace to lolgay.com, the newest, bestest site on the whole internets. Sure, you can has cheezeburger, but why would you want to when you know those calories go straight to your ass?

Lolcats = Web 2.0

Lolgays = Web 2.Oh!

wot u staring at?

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internet dating for dogs

Dog. Duds. What's to explain? Except the psychology of the owner... 

No, I’m not going to tell you the way to happiness on Lavalife is to Photoshop your picture into something approximating Beckham/Beckinsale. I’m talking about real internet dating for actual, quadruped-type dogs.

Because in this world of ours, people just don’t live vicariously enough, dammit!

From the New Zealand Press, via Fark.

A new matchmaking service for dogs – and virtually every other kind of domesticated pet from apes to zebras – promises to facilitate the arduous and heartbreaking process of hounding for the perfect mate.

Petpalio. com is the brainchild of Aaron Rodrigues, a 17-year-old self-styled “student entrepreneur” from Auckland.

Rodrigues said he came up with the concept after an agonising search for a canine companion for his two-year-old bichon frise, Lasie

The website, launched just over a week ago, has attracted 40 eligible pets, mostly from the United States and the United Kingdom.

One wonders if this wonderkind had any idea what the Palio actually was before he named his site Pet Palio.com. Will registrants saddle up wee Fifi or Bowser and gallop madly around a town square in Italy, frantically lashing at the faces of the other jockeys, all for the glory of a neighborhood of which they have never heard, and which they will never be able to pronounce?

I’d pay to see that.

Actually, there’s a sadness underlying this story, an unspoken sadness. What he’s not saying is what everyone at the dog park knows: there’s a reason his precious Lasie is still heartbreakingly single.

Lasie‘s only interested in real bitches.

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smells like ass

Jenny the donkeyDidja ever have one of those days…

those days where nothing seems to go right,

those days where you just can’t catch a break, 

those days where you’re a donkey and you fall into a septic tank, and bloggers all over the world make fun of you?

The entire rescue was caught on tape by a photographer at NBC affiliate WOAI…

The donkey, named Jenny, fell into the septic tank at Jesse Salcedo‘s property, and it took firefighters nearly two hours to get her to safety.

“She probably just fell in there by accident or just flipped the lid over or something,” owner Jesse Salcedo said.

Sandy Oaks and Somerset fire departments were called in for the rescue. Edward Dugosh was one of their shortest and smallest firefighters on the scene. He was sent in the septic tank.

“(It’s a) nasty hole, smells horrible,” Dugosh said. “It’s just the worst environment imaginable.”

The donkey’s condition is reportedly …

stable.

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when parents fail: parrots!

macaw, y'allPolly want an honorary degree, consulting fee and reality show?

Well it IS the Twenty-First Century. Even parrots have gone upscale.

It seems that there’s this kid Dylan, and he was, not unlike the great Tennyson, moving forward in age while showing no respect for some of the great milestones of childhood such as learning speech. Indeed, from our vantage spot somewhat farther along in space/time, we ourselves tend to think that such activities are highly overrated; all our alter personalities agree.

So language was all like, Dylan, learn me, and Dylan was all like, talk to the Lego and his parents were all like, OMG he’s autistic! Let’s get a parrot, and that solved things.

Dylan Hargreaves, four, has severe learning difficulties and had never uttered a single word.

But after listening to macaw Barney, he can now say “Night, night”, “Dad”, “Mum”, “Ta”, “Hello” and “Bye”.

And experts think he is close to his first two-syllable word

Michelle reckons her son’s first two-syllable word will be Barney, because he loves his pet so much.

Hell-O?

Okay, so it looks like the gene pool isn’t very deep here, but what is the excuse for A) these so-called “experts” and B) the hacks at the Sun who presumably know the meaning of the word syllable?

HELLO???

Dylan, boy, when you grow up to be Poet Laureate, please remember raincoaster was in your corner back in the early days. Good luck; with a team of supporters like this, you’re going to need it.

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