Ain’t this always the way? Math’s worse. By Chris Heilmann.
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Category Archives: Physics
when sea serpents fart
Once again we at the ol’ raincoaster blog can only shake our heads in dismay (I have five, and they rattle when they really get going) at the sad ignorance displayed in this report from Latvia.
Locals initially reported seeing “strange things” in the area.
One girl said that she had seen “a small bright object with a silver ring around it”, while other witnesses reported seeing up to six symmetrical beams of light emerging from the pond.
It seems a large hole has appeared in the ice of a heretofor-frozen lake, and the sudden appearance thereof, andof other bizarre phenomena, has put local yokeldom to speculating about the possible arrival and submersion of a UFO, or the possibility of a large chunk of blue ice falling from such an object (aliens, presumably, being no better at disposing of their wastes than a dirty Boeing) and creating said hole.
These theories are, naturally, so ridiculous and indicative of backwateryness that we need hardly raise an eyebrow before dismissing them with a snort.
Let us look at the facts instead; verily, let us turn to science which, as always, has all the answers if indeed only a subset of the questions at any given time.
What are lakes made of? That’s right, dihydrogen monoxide. And what covers frozen lakes? Correct again, ice covers frozen lakes, by definition and by gosh and by golly. And what happens when a large bolus of heated gas escapes its deep-water containment in a body of water which is covered by ice? Three for three, my friend: the gas rises and breaks the surface, either melting or blasting its way to freedom.
Otherwise, can you imagine the stench from all those saved-up fish farts at the Spring break-up?
Obviously, this strange hole is an indication that somewhere in the depths of this Unnamed and Unnameable Lake lies an active and populated (and gastrically distressed) settlement of Deep Ones, if indeed it is not itself the fabled Lake of Hali in the Frozen Wastes (and, I mean, not to put too fine a point on it but, have you ever been to Latvia? Exactly) and, thus, home to far greater horrors than these mere servants of Great Cthulhu.
Ia! Ia! Latvia fh’artagn!
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photo o’ the day: fireworks, a comet, and lightning
Explanation: Sometimes the sky itself is the best show in town. On January 26, people from Perth, Australia gathered on a local beach to watch a sky light up with delights near and far. Nearby, fireworks exploded as part of Australia Day celebrations. On the far right, lightning from a thunderstorm flashed in the distance. Near the image center, though, seen through clouds, was the most unusual sight of all: Comet McNaught.
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Skyhook: world’s strangest commute!
Yep, but I can totally see this catching on among a certain, perhaps inebriated, subculture. It would make closing time at the pub that much safer; hand over your keys, strap into the harness, and prepare for liftoff!
This is another gem from that damn interesting site Damn Interesting. It seems that, when flight was young and flyers were still imaginative about it instead of behaving like a bunch of sadsack bus drivers on the last run of the day, the Yanks came up with something so original that for real connoiseurs of aviation it is nothing less than sublimely salivatastic, inducing instant and total flooding of all pleasure zones in the cerebral or otherwise cortices.
Ladies and gentlemen, may we present: The Skyhook!
The idea of fly-by retrievals was first explored during World War II. American and British soldiers would equip with a full harness, and connect it to a cable which was strung to the top of a tall pole. The soldier would then stand between two such poles, and a specially fitted aircraft (usually a C-47 Skytrain) swooped in low, and hooked the cable, lifting the soldier from the ground. Though the system worked, it was generally cumbersome and difficult to set up.
That would be what we at the ol’ raincoaster blog call a big well duh! In time and with good solid Cold War dollars behind him, a CIA inventor called Robert Edison Fulton, Jr developed an elegant little rig of harness, helium balloon, and a whopping 500 feet of super-strong nylon cable. I suppose you can figure out how it worked; at least, if you’ve seen any Road Runner cartoons where the coyote gets really creative with latex gloves you can. Tie balloon to line, tie line to harness, put self in harness, let balloon go, wait.
And hope the navigator hasn’t fucked up. No matter how miserable it may be waiting for the #10 at Main and Hastings, I would have to suspect that standing on an ice floe near the North Pole, tethered to a small dirigible and waiting for an airplane to manifest during the small window of daylight hours has got to beat it for sheer tedium and existential dread.
And you just know the poor guy had to pee, too.
The airplane had to be fitted with a pair of tubular horns on the nose. In practice, the plane aimed right at a marker on the line, and the horns would catch the line. A mechanism would snap closed when the line was caught, releasing the balloon and anchoring the line to the aircraft. As the target was lifted from the ground, the line streamed back into the aircraft’s wake. The crew in the back of the plane would use a long hook to catch the line, and the target would then be winched into the bay.
The first live test was conducted with a pig as the target. Due to some stability issues, the pig spun in the 125 mph wind, and arrived on the plane dizzy and discombobulated. It recovered, however, and promptly attacked the crew.
Oh, well that’s encouraging. No word on whether the human subjects reacted in the same way, although I would, myself.
Here, for further study, is the journal of Captain Pete Purvis, who flew Skyhook missions, along with many of his impressive aeropix, all from Flight Journal magazine.
October 1962: I’m a brand-new graduate of the Navy Test Pilot School at Pax River—the Naval Air Test Center at Patuxent River, Maryland—40 miles down the Chesapeake Bay from the U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis from which I graduated in 1957.I hardly can believe I’m here; I’ll fly the newest Navy aircraft and perform amazing aerial feats. I’ll push the envelope in the true “right stuff” tradition of those before me: Clark Gable, Errol Flynn—and the real ones such as Scott Crossfield and Chuck Yeager.
Please God do NOT let Air Canada get wind of this contraption; they already think they put themselves out entirely too much for the passengers. Once they realize they can save thirty thousand a day in landing fees by picking passengers up with Skyhook, there’ll be no stopping them.
Literally.
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10 uses for a microwave oven
Well you wouldn’t want to put your food in it; that would be hilariously retro! You might as well serve rumaki and Betty Crocker’s Bean and Frank Fiesta Casserole. If you do, give me a call: I love that shit.
In any case, here, straight from the Guardian, your quality source for breaking news and the last home of real free-range journalism, the heir to all our hopes and dreams and foggy memories of Cronkite and Murrow comes a list of ten useful but non-foodie things to do with your microwave.
“Throw it out” is not on the list.
And by the way, before trying the sponge trick, do make sure the sponge is soaked in water and contains no metal bits. Since the story broke quite a number of people have managed to set sponges on fire, which is a neat trick if you’re a ten year old in the backyard and not so neat if you’re a fortysomething neurasthenic housewife in your $20,000 custom kitchen.
To the list!
Environmental engineers at the University of Florida report in a new study that zapping damp sponges and dishcloths for two minutes on full power in a microwave kills more than 99% of harmful bacteria. We asked the experts at the Good Housekeeping Institute to come up with 10 further novel uses for your oven.
1 Get more juice out of lemons and limes, by softening them on high for 15-20 seconds…
4 Dye up to 225g of material. Wearing rubber gloves, stir a packet of Dylon natural fabric dye with 200ml cold water in a bowl, add 400ml more water and immerse the fabric. Put the bowl inside a plastic bag in the microwave on high for four minutes. Remove, tip away the dye, and rinse the fabric in cold water. Wash in hot water, then dry away from direct heat or sunlight…
6 Melt wax for removing leg hair, on 80% power for 10 seconds, assuming it’s a full pot. Beware: it doesn’t need to boil!
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