Surprisingly, you don’t have to be a celebrity to make a celebrity sex tape. You don’t even have to know a celebrity. You don’t even have to be able to pick a celebrity out of a lineup (hint: it’s the thin one with the eyeliner, the PA, and the short attention span).

There was a time when the word “celebrity” meant something. A time when you had to achieve something great in the world in order for someone to look up to you and care what you had to say. Celebrities were the kings and queens of our modern times. Nowadays, celebrity status is easy to come by. You could be the son or daughter of a rich person, you could get your nuts caught in a vise while your friend videotapes it, you could whine on a webcam or you could be a washed-up former child star. You could be anybody and be called a “celebrity.” Which brings us to the subject of this article.

When word leaked that Dustin Diamond, Screech from TV’s “Saved by the Bell,” was shopping around a “celebrity sex tape” of himself and two ladies with a penchant for shit on their upper lips, I began to question the use of the word “celebrity.”

Well exactly. In the perfectly modern, perfectly meta economy of the 21st Century you can become a celebrity by making a celebrity sex tape. Film Threat has all the how-to’s for you (via Defamer).

Best of luck on your cinematic debut, and don’t forget the little people; not everyone is Ron Jeremy, ya know!