Then how do you explain Joan Rivers?

Botox Babe

I think Joan Rivers must simply have had all the skin on her face removed and replaced with a lifelike latex substitute; that’s the only thing that accounts for the fact she can still pull any kind of an expression at all. When she relaxes, though, she does look like one of those aliens from Communion.

In one of the many, many millions of magazines I have lying around the house lies one article which puts Botox in its proper context. Just as Dominick Dunne put crime into a moral context (which is really the primary context in which those events take place) so this article, which I cannot find, by a woman whose name I cannot recall, looked at cosmetic surgery in a fundamentally meaningful, humanistic context. I do not know why this article is, as far as I can tell, alone in the world. I do not know why no-one else has examined the social and cultural impact of Botox. But I do know, it asked some very important questions.

First among those is:

What will become of a society in which women are unable to express negative emotion?

Do you remember when you were a child, and you’d watch your mother for clues as to what was going on and whether or not it was a problem? What if those clues never came? What if all you had to depend on were her words?

Botox is censorship of the body. You think you’re only banning the bad words, but like an over-aggressive spamfilter that won’t let you open the Breast Cancer Charity fundraising site, it cuts you off from things you may not realize are both negative and positive. How’d you like to discover that too late?

I can’t even imagine being a fortysomething man trying to date age-appropriate, financially secure women; there would be no clues at all in her face if you happened to say something that struck a nerve. You would never know when to back off. You would never see the vulnerability. You would, to a meaningful extent, be cut off from an important part of that woman’s basic humanity.

As would be all other people.

And what must it do to them?

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Well, no wonder!

Married To The Sea

Sponsor Shave for a Cure 2008

Elvis shoulda cut and run!As longtime readers know, we at the ol’ raincoaster blog are nothing but a big softie, however much we way threaten you with our tentacles and fangs and use the first-person plural at times; we are just trying to be inclusive of our alter personalities, that’s all. And as an expression of this innner softie-tude, we present the following announcement, from regular commenter Lydia:

This is my youngest brother who, when he was born with Downs, was not expected to live for more than 6 months. He just turned 47! So there! Lydia

Chris is supporting the fight against childhood cancer by shaving his head in the 2008 Shave for a Cure event on January 25th. Chris considers himself very lucky as he has enjoyed good health and the support of friends and family throughout his life. As an added bonus we all know how much he would love to have his head shaved! Please help him raise funds for childhood cancer research. It’s easy to do. Just follow the link and you can make your pledge online. Thanks for helping Chris “give something back”!

Thank you!

Click here to Sponsor Chris Bradshaw!

(PS: sorry if the image doesn’t show up. WordPress is being a touch touchy lately, or perhaps my tech curse {see below posts} is simply spreading)

hemorrhoid operation a total pain in the ass

Farting FlameHow is this for a bad day. First, the anonymous (for good reason!) woman had to have an operation to remove her enormous, inflamed hemorrhoids. While she was in there, she had them schedule a lump-ectomy for a mysterious lump in an unspecified, but equally south of the equator place. So, she’s got two butt surgeries in one day, and a couple of months of using a donut pillow ahead of her.

Then her ass caught on fire.

The accident took place after a nurse had cleaned the woman’s skin with an antiseptic solution.

With some of the highly flammable liquid having trickled under the women’s body, the patient caught fire when staff switched on the electrical current and began operating.

Yep, that’s what we around these parts call a ringburner!

quiz: what infectious disease are you?

Well this is a bit of a shocker to anyone who thinks they know my sex life. Including me.

 

You scored as Syphilis

You’re a little bit sexy and a whole lot kinky. Some people might even call you perverted, but we aren’t judging you. Your passions do run high, though, and you never forget anything–even if you seem cool at the time. It might take some time, but you always get even… and usually drive your enemies insane in the process. This strange combination of stealth and sex appeal has kept you gainfully, although not always famously, employed. Your recent comeback tour is going well, especially since you stopped listening to your critics.

Syphilis
 
95%
Malaria
 
90%
Influenza
 
75%
Bubonic Plague
 
70%
Necrotizing Fasciitis
 
65%
Common Cold
 
55%
Gonorrhea
 
50%
Amoebic Dysentery
 
50%
Cholera
 
45%
Gangrene
 
45%

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