from, of all ironic places, that bloggy American tattletale of Hollywoodland, Defamer.
anne-marie losique interviews a drunk ben affleck from his lap
“interviews” eh? Not the word I’d use for it. Bot ee doze a fontosTEEK hack-senn Quebecois, oui?
from, of all ironic places, that bloggy American tattletale of Hollywoodland, Defamer.
anne-marie losique interviews a drunk ben affleck from his lap
“interviews” eh? Not the word I’d use for it. Bot ee doze a fontosTEEK hack-senn Quebecois, oui?
Since Hurricane Lucy Gao hit, stats haven’t been nearly as much fun to check as usual. They’ve been bigger, juicier, and technically more exotic, but only half as much fun, because I always know that my top posts are going to be Lucy Gao‘s email, Lucy Gao doesn’t need a PA, she needs an enema, and Lucy Gao Revealed, plus Beautiful Agony, the Mentos boys, and Blackzilla, which I did not realize was the name of a popular line of porn flicks when I posted it.
No, really. I didn’t.
But now it looks like the hurricane is finally winding down, and to that I say it is ABOUT FUCKING TIME!
Yes, I liked having 3300 hits a day. I liked being the #2 blog on WordPress. But I’d rather be loved for my entire blog than just for five frickin’ posts, people!!! What good is it being the Pavarotti of the goddam blogosphere if all people ever see is Lucy Fucking Gao and their beloved mango porn??? Eh? I ask you that!
In any case, it appears that the storm has abated and I have managed to keep nearly 50% of my new readers, although 10% of them have only come by googling “vanityfair.com,” for which I am the #2 result. And I’m kidding myself if I think I don’t owe it, in some sense, to Lucy Freaking Gao, who even got me a link from CBS News, FFS y’all! Even though it’s only half as good for hits as a link from the front page of WordPress. Shhhh, don’t tell the producers!
I have also learned, from my comments on Chartreuse and Guido‘s blogs, that references to the size of one’s breasts are excellent for hits, although moreso with Americans than with Brits. Benny Hill was born in the wrong country, Itellya.
In any case, I am inexpressably grateful to Graydon Carter and Vanity Fair for knocking that snobbish intern off her throne and giving me, at last, some surprises in the Stats page.
Hail our new #1 post! (which we know we owe entirely to people searching for Suri Cruise pix, but we’re not real choosy over here if you haven’t already noticed)
I can’t say it any better than the copy on the site. It’s an art music video made by pixillating porn video footage and using an algorithm to convert the movements (and thus the changes in pixels) to music. This is possibly the most beautiful video I’ve seen on YouTube; the only thing even close is the Bleat and the Monkees “She Hangs Out” psychedelia.
In whcih pixelated pornography is turned into lyrical piano music…..
The concept of a correlation between sound and vision goes back to antiquity. One starry night on the island of Samos Pythagoras stood contemplating the skies, to him he very rhythm and motion of heavenly bodies in their orbits appeared to him as if governed by a cosmic harmony, a carefully choreographed sequence, the music of the spheres.
Renaissance artists such as Leonardo da Vinci produced sophisticated spectacles for court festivals that fused music and colour. In 1760 Father Castel constructed an Ocular Harpsichord or as he described it a ” harpsichord for the eyes”. Castel‘s machine was a normal harpsichord above which were 60 small windows, each with different coloured-glass and a small curtain. Each time the player depressed a particular key, the relevant curtain would rise to show a burst of colour.
In the next two hundred years many new instruments for combining light and sound were built. The British painter A. Wallace Rimington developed a Colour Organ which provided a moving light accompaniment to the 1916 New York premiere of Scriabin’s symphony Prometheus: A Poem of Fire. Scriabin had scored not only the music but also the precise colours he wanted to accompany particular passages.
Such colour music forms the conceptual starting point for Fleshtones, a piece for extreme pixelated porn and auto generated accompaniment. Footage from webcams and other online sites is broken down into a simple tableau of colour bands, at times rather like the paint charts one might find in a DIY store. Given the subject matter this palette is either predominately pink or coffee coloured thus producing a sequence of flickering fleshtones. Using the wonders of max/msp/jitter these Fleshtones are turned into lyrical piano music that rises in falls in response and exact correspondence to the onscreen movement. The motion of earthly bodies thus is transformed into something of beauty, harmony and contemplation.
I was trying to class up the blog for the newbies, but let’s face it: I just have a dirty mind.
That’s why I’m posting about the Phallic Logo Awards, from B3TA, whatever that means. No, I KNOW what “phallic” means; it’s the TLA with a silent 3 I don’t understand. But then, it’s the Internet; you’re not supposed to understand it!
The game designers across the nation are playing is; can they design a logo and get it approved without the client realising it’s a big spurting penis?
We asked our readers to send in the best cock logos from around the world for our team of experts to evaluate. Now we present to you the very cream of the cocks.

Who: Czech sausage company
Pros: Great 1920s transvestite oral sex action.
Cons: Two meat. No veg.
Cock mark: 46%…
And so on…do not omit scrolling right to the bottom, for the Exxtra Bonus Muff Diver Award.
Who: Pride in Oldham award scheme
Pros: Tiny, tiny dwarf man going down on a lady in a peephole bikini.
Cons: He’s starting with her bellybutton.
No, seriously, you gotta see this!