Hard Up

Is that a Burj inyour pocket or are you just happy to see me?Poor baby. His penile implant worked like a dream, and waggled happily skyward without pause from the moment of activation. For ten years. So, what did Mister Genius here do? Get himself a bevy of ladyfriends and a bad reputation?

No, he became a hermit instead. One has to wonder what he wanted it for in the first place. If it’s that bulgy, you can always stuff your pants with a pillow and just pretend to be fat. Or, hey! tell everyone your name is “Colin Farrell.”

From News of the Weird:

The Rhode Island Supreme Court in June affirmed a $400,000 judgment for Charles Lennon, 68, who had sued the now-bankrupt Dacomed company after his Dura-II penile implant remained constantly erect for 10 years. Lennon said embarrassment had forced him to become a recluse.

Kevin Smith’s Clerks…as performed by Peanuts

“Everything’s a fuckin’ travesty with you, man! And what was all that shit about Vietnam? What the FUCK, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the fuck are you talking about?”

Dear Ann Coulter, from Henry Rollins

The New Vidal and Capote

“Doug, you tiny little fairy, you arrested boy, I will break your back over my knee in the press and I will push your face inside out in private or public . . . Mention my name anywhere ever again, and we’re going to find out two things: First, whose word means anything anymore in this town. Second, how many times I can slam my fist into your face before someone pulls me off you.” He signed off: “Now you wait for it.”

and here it is, at Toby Young’s book party.

Spiegelman vs Dechert

Gawker has the whole slideshow.

Jacob wrestles with an angel. You pick who’s who.

We hate these events, these self-importantant celebrations of a crowd’s collective arrogance. But once every three or four decades, something genuinely interesting happens. In this case, at Toby Young’s book party tonight at Soho House, the crowd was treated to two writers working out their mutual hatred like twelve-year-old boys. Former Page Sixer Ian Spiegelman lost his job in 2004 ostensibly because of a threatening email he sent to [insert sketchy adjective here] writer Doug Dechert (more backstory here). Tonight, these two were reunited and, after the right amount of lukewarm liquor, they worked their issues out with fisticuffs. There’s more to explain later in the forthcoming party crash, but at this hour the pictures are story enough. More bloodshed — or the drink-throwing sissy journalist version thereof —here

and a little background on the party here, from the Huffpo. If I could find it in the debris that is Diary-X, I would post my own review of Toby Young’s first book. All you really need to know is that I used the expression “Three-orgasm Schadenfreude.

Get Lucky

From the Generator Blog

Lucky Luciano seeks swf

Woohoo, looks like Lucky Luciano might just get lucky if he plays his cards right.
Is that a “straight”? Or just a straight line?