how to build a tiki bar

The tiki bar is open!At last, something useful from Web Zen on BoingBoing, usually the home of a big “What? Whatever,” any time I check it out. But this makes up for many, many vintage Japanese vending machine item posts.

Although it must be said, these two do not look like they’d be my #1 choice for tikiization of my rec room. The funk factor here is, like the rec room, in the basement.

This comes from Atomic Magazine’s Fall 1999 issue — a very tongue-in-cheek set of instructions on how to build a tiki bar, designed to look like a family-friendly (until you read the finer print) construction kit from the 1950s.

In related news, this clever fellow has converted a VW van into a mobile tiki bar. Clearly he’s got it going on; who wouldn’t stalk him on the highway, just to be able to sit at this bar?

tiny tiki mobile tiki bar!

photo o’ the day: punk in saran wrap, carving a pumpkin

Pretty much just what it says. This glossy, watertight fellow is practicing for the Texas Chainsaw Pumpkin Carving Contest, which does not take place in Texas at all, but in Fremont, Washington.

He is at least as kinky as Leatherface, I must say.

Chainsaw Punk

Americans complain the open market is costing them a fortune!

Fighting Terrorism since 1492 

They’d rather let their crops rot on the trees than respond to the market forces and increase their wages. There is no labour shortage in the US fruit picking labour market; there is a gap between the asking price for labour and the price the farmers are willing to pay.

It is much the same in Canada, although instead of Mexicans we have migrant Quebecois. They smoke almost as much pot, but they complain about the climate less, as you would, too, if you were from James Bay or some godforsaken spot.

In the Fraser Valley, just outside of Vancouver, there haveChe is watching been several convictions over the past decade for slavery, as well as numerous housing infractions (it is Canada; insulation and roofs are advisable and may be compulsory, imagine that!), assault (beating) charges, one murder that I can recall, as well as several cases of holding workers’ children or elderly parents captive until their work contract was up. Passports? Oh yeah, they keep the passports, too, which is one reason they’re not getting so many immigrants who want to work in this industry; the word has gone around India, and now the farmers are whining loudly about uppity brown people.

Which brings us back to the Americans:

“It’s a laborer’s market right now. My pickers all look at me and say, ‘How much are you going to pay?‘ ” he said. “They all have cell phones, and all they have to do is call up the road and see if anybody else is paying a little more.”

Farmers in that situation are left to decide whether it’s even worth picking the fruit, or just letting it rot, said Dan Fazio, director of employer services for the Washington state Farm Bureau.

“I can fill 10,000 jobs at $15 an hour right now,” he Norma Rae has your answer!said. “And we knew this was going to happen. We’ve been warning people for years.”

Farmers across the West for years have complained about a labor shortage to harvest their fruits, vegetables and other crops. Critics have always discounted those claims, saying farmers who pay higher wages have plenty of help.

“At some point, it’s like the boy who cried wolf,” said David Groves, spokesman for the Washington State Labor Council. “It’s just that, at different points in time, we’ve heard this, and we’ve seen evidence that there’s not a labor shortage. There’s just an unwillingness to pay decent wages.”

photo o’ the day: more horses, more fog

Dutch mounted policemen

Whoa, dude, our Dutch Mounted Police Ride is gonna kick the Mounties‘ asses! Just wait till the lasers and Pink Floyd start!

more fog and horses here

lamb/sheep/python turducken

You know what a turducken is, don’t you? It’s that rare delicacy formed by stuffing a dead animal with another dead animal, which has itself been stuffed with a dead animal, etc etc etc, which is, finally stuffed with junk food. Kinda like Britney Spears. My mother had a recipe like this that began with a sparrow centre and concluded with a layer of camel, but then, my mother was untraditional in the extreme.

Well this Malaysian python decided that he was gonna save some poor, hardworking chef all that trouble, and went for it himself.

Behold the python that swallowed a ewe.
What’s he to do? He swallowed a ewe.
He swallowed a ewe too massive to chew.
The ewe was expectin’, so he swallowed two.
Then up he threw.

Python Ewe Lamb Turducken for table #4!!!