The second in a series.

First ep, featuring guest appearances by Joan Crawford and Tony Robbins is here. 

Opening Theme
BUT the boys are MISSING!!! so we have to phone Gonzo and get him to line up a substitute. Kermit warned us this would be a bad idea, but it's five seconds to air: what choice do we really have?

Lollapalosers indeed. But meantime we've at least had time to locate Mike. He was out back smoking "herbal cigarettes" with his friend Frank Zappa, but we managed to tempt them back into the studio with promises of Doritos and sensless violence. Watch as Mike conducts an interview with the original Mother of Invention and later conducts him in musical mayhem as Frank gets jiggy with a 47 Chrysler.

Well wasn't that…strange? You know you're out of control when Frank Zappa is the one trying to keep you normal.

Meanwhile, we've just gotten a phone call from Julie Newmar, who is working at the laundromat.

Julie likes to give raincoaster a jingle from time to time to compare catsuit fitting tips and just shoot the shit.

The boys have been using the "Drop off" window for their laundry and had never laid eyes on their pretty Cinderella…until now. Turns out Julie (who lost her virginity to von Karajan in April of '56 in the back row of Teatro di San Carlo, thus the nickname "April") is quite the classical arts fanatic. Here, the boys compete for her attentions.

Davy, as always, takes the early lead despite being at least a foot shorter than April. We relay the news to Mike, who grabs the reciever from us, hears that distinctively husky, liquid-sex voice, and takes off for the laundromat on Mickey's motorcycle. He arrives halfway through the big competition, but makes a strong showing nonetheless.

But guys, don't you know that girls can't resist a rock band? Or even a bubblegum pop band, as long as it occasionally sings in a minor key? Cue "The Girl That I Knew Somewhere…"

Yowzuh! Who knew Peter looked that hot in white tie? raincoaster would be doing a lot of formal entertaining if she thought she could get him to wear that on a regular basis!

But as the big song winds up, they realize that April has been kidnapped! Davy and Mike turn into secret agents to get the answers and go undercover in the lobby of a cheesy, overdone Beverly Hills hotel, the type where rich old women go to recover from facelifts. While there, they receive a mysterious phonecall which tells them April is in Paris or something like that…

As the boys follow that lead, their plane is hijacked by the Pamplona Panthers and they are led far afield, to Spain! They make their escape and arrive in Paris to rescue April. And just look at the havoc they cause; what's French for Monkeemania? From there, they follow the trail to Toyland?

and hey, there's April! She can totally lay down the heavy Chopin when she wants to, can't she?

Finally realizing that La Newmar is out of their league, the boys free her from her kidnapper, a would-be svengali who wishes to keep her all to himself. April kisses the boys good-bye and runs off to London to appear in a George Michael video.

The boys then attempt to escape from her many jealous suitors. Cue obligatory fleeing-posing-and-making-no-sense-set-to-cancan-music scene:

The boys return home just in time for their next gig, playing the wedding reception for The Brady Grandparents. The svengali remains firmly trussed, although even prone he attempts to groove along with the music. raincoaster is not at all sure that a song about infidelity is the very best choice for the occasion, but she loves "Look Out, Here Comes Tomorrow" anyway.

Davy sure can work that lipgloss, can't he? Is that Lip Venom? Enquiring minds want to know.

And, to make up for that Zappa-tastic strangeness at the top of the show, here is special guest Tim Buckley performing Song to the Siren.