smoke pot, lose weight: the best of all possible worlds

Pot Chef, dude!Well actually, as a not-potter myself the best of all possible worlds would be one where the stuff didn’t stink like candy made from filthy socks, rolled in skunk cabbage, but that’s just me.

From CNN via Fark comes news that Big Pharma, our beloved overlords, renowned for bypassing the chance to make a quick buck in order to spend their days and nights hard at work finding a cure for cancer, is developing a new kind of pot that will help stoners toke away the pounds.

The most telling thing in the article is the fact that it was posted in the Money section of CNN, not the Science section.

Or the Altruism section…oh wait, the what?

“The cannabis plant has 70 different cannabinoids in it, and each has a different effect on the body,” GW Managing Director Justin Gover told Reuters.

“Some can stimulate your appetite, and some in the same plant can suppress your appetite. It is amazing both scientifically and commercially,” he said in a telephone interview.

GW said it plans to start clinical trials of the new drug in the second half of this year.

Volunteers?

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the call of Cthulhu!

The call of Cthulhu!!!!

from Cthulhu Creates!

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melon baller!

No wonder it has no name; click to enlarge if you dare!Sometimes you run across evidence of another person’s sex life on the internet and you think:

  1. Wow. I guess I’m normal then.
  2. Wow. No wonder he’s got no life.
  3. Wow. Just: Wow.

I’m not sure if DefrostIndoors who passed this along to me wants her name, or even her alias, associated with this. I have no need to know how she stumbled across this. I have no urge to know how she stumbled across this. Really, I’m just going to assume she was trying to find a new kitchen utensil when she ran across the innovative, yet pathetic and disgusting…

Melon Baller!

“Ok i’ve had the melons since yesterday. Cost me about $5 for two of them. Now how do i carve the hole? I don’t want to make it too big.”

“oh yeah another thing i heated it up 2 minutes already and the inside is still hard. well it’s finally hot, but still hard. look’s like the melon’s not up for anything tonight. lol…” 

Big melon ballin! The after shot!Also, all that BlueBomber says is they got this off a forum and if you know anything about forums, you’ll know that you neither need nor want additional information. And yes, that’s where the pictures came from. You have just viewed fruit porn! I suppose these are NSFW if you work in the produce section. Paging Chad Vader! But do go to the site for more on the aftermath. I bet he didn’t even call the next morning!

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cooking for dummies @ the White House

Desserts for Dummies indeedy!Stole this from ThinkProgress.

Really, what can you add to this, except to note that the author of this book is the newly-installed pastry chef in the White House.

Good to see he’s got some experience at the job.

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How to: care and maintenance of the swedish fish

Cthulhu approved!Some of our readers here on the ol’ raincoaster blog are what is known as “fish-keepers.” Now, naturally you as a healthy, normal person will imagine that this is an obscure order of monks in service to the Esoteric Order of Dagon, but you would be wrong: these are people actually prefer fish as pets. Bizarrely, they often cohabitate with those who prefer cats as pets. I suppose it saves time when it comes to splitting the assets in case of divorce. If either of them prefers Chinese food then the circle is complete.

Some of these Fish-Keepers, also known as the so-called Fish People (as in “I’m Trudi! I’m a Cat Person!” although with Trudi you can just tell, she doesn’t need to say anything), take a great deal of pride in raising fish that no-one else in their watery circle has. Their aquariums are a positive R’lyeh of one-upmanship, as are their aquatic conversations.

eg:

“So Ned, got those albino mambafish breeding yet?”

and Ned, who has been trying to breed the albino mambafish for twelve years in the back of the hall closet and who only mentioned it last week because Alistair was being such an ass about his Piebald Pufferfish, grits his teeth and replies,

“Great, yeah Al, they’re doing great. What are you raising now?”

And Al, who suspects Ned is lying but who cannot prove it, but lives for that glorious day in the future, replies,

“Oh me? Well I caught a couple of live pygmy whale sharks on my last trip to Papaeete, gonna put them together, see what happens. Once I turn that spare bedroom into a walk-through aquarium, of course. You know that Better Housekeeping bought the plans from me?”

There are, of course, no pygmy whale sharks. But here’s something your competitive friends won’t find in any pet store! I guarantee you, not a one of those watery wankers is raising a brood of these, nor has any idea how to care for them!

The Care and Maintenance of the Swedish Fish

Table of Contents

Part 1 – Introduction to Swedish Fish

Most people believe that Swedish Fish are simply a tasty treat. This could not be further from the truth! Swedish Fish actually originated in (you guessed it) Sweden, but due to their sweetness, gumminess, and lack of bones, they are commonly bred in gummy-fish farms all over the world. After they are the proper age, they are then gathered up, processed, and bagged for consumption by evil individuals who care more for their sweets than for the life of innocent fishies!

Swedish Fish, ja!Just take a look at the picture to the right. Here we have a Swedish Fish straight from the package. Here are some signs that this Swedish Fish is in trouble!

  • Dehydration
  • Bulging eyes
  • Anxiety / Depression
  • Visible loss of fin-to-eye coordination
  • Need I go on?

It is up to you to rescue these poor creatures from the hands of the hungry! You must save them from a life of pre-packaged madness! Fortunately, Swedish Fish make perfect pets. Read below for more information!

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