Category Archives: Weird

Dubai: Land of Laughs

Posted on by

I'm not an American, but from time to time I can't help but feel bad for the poor buggers, like when their president tries to sell their ports to people like this. Mind you, I like people like this, but I wouldn't be selling my ports to them; there's the ones you date, and the ones you take home to momma and sell your ports to, and these are not the latter. Wisdom and good times from a Dubai taxi driver, via Gridskipper.

Cabbie: Where are you from?
Us: Washington, D.C. in the United States.
C: You know George Bush?
U: (polite laughter) No, we’ve never met him.
C: You know Osama Bin Laden?
U: (slight discomfort) No…. We’ve never met him either.
C: Do you want to meet him?
U: (wondering where he’s going with this) Um… no. (sincerely hoping that we’re not on our way to see him right now)
C: I want to meet him very much.
U: Uhhh… Really? Why?
C: So that I could turn him in to the United States and gets lots and lots of American dollars. (hysterical guffaws)
U: (relieved smiles) Oh, okay.
C: No, I couldn’t do that. They would kill all my family. (another explosion of hilarity)
U: (polite but uncomfortable laughter)

Peter Pan vs the Knight Rider

Posted on by

 

Yes, we've all seen it a billion times, but it's still funny.

Those have to be his own fat, crossbred dachsunds; if you were hiring dachsunds and you walked into a showbiz dog rental agency and you said, "I'm making a ridonkulous music video called 'Hooked on a Feeling' and I need a coupla weiner dogs schnell!" and they handed you these, wouldn't you hand them right back and tell them to get with the bulimia, this is Hollywood, baby!

Damn right you would.

Anyway, from the Backbencher column in the Politics section of the Guardian (where else, I ask you) comes news that The Hoff, in possibly the penultimate move of late-career-downward-out-of-control-spiralling, will appear later this year in a suburban Christmas Pantomime.

"He was keen to work in theatre over here to entertain his legions of Baywatch fans," gushes a press officer, who is sadly unable to confirm or deny speculation that Pamela Anderson will play Tinkerbell.

Feelin’ Smaug

Posted on by

and you would, too, if you had a bag this cool. No word on the cost, but given the amount of work involved it's gotta be like yachts: if you have to ask, you can't afford it.

Dragon Bag Side View

Dragon Bag Side View

Reported in raincoaster: Reported in Gawker

Posted on by

Kurt Said Plagiarism Might Be Everywhere

READ MORE: forbes, new york times

20060508steveforbes.jpgFrom “Forbes May Seek Investment From Outside,” by Andrew Ross Sorkin, NYT, today:

Malcolm’s son Steve took over in 1990 and has used the magazine as a launching pad to seek political office, failing to win the Republican nomination for president in 1996 and 2000. Besides his brand of untrammeled free-market politics, he has adopted an antiabortion stance, advocates a flat-tax system and is skeptical toward the United Nations.

From “Forbes Goes Outside Family for Funds,” by Jason Nisse, London Independent, yesterday:

Steve, Malcolm’s son, took over in 1990 and has used the magazine as a launchpad for his political ambitions, twice failing to win the Republican nomination for presidential candidate in 1996 and 2000. His brand of right-wing, free-market politics includes an anti-abortion stance, and advocating a flat-tax system and an anti-United Nations foreign policy.

Forbes May Seek Investment From Outside [NYT]
Forbes Goes Outside Family for Funds [Independent]
Related: Generation Xerox [NYM]

Book Review: Dianetics

Posted on by

DianeticsI wouldn't trust myself to review this book. Like the Necronomicon, this is a book best read by those you really wouldn't miss if it came right down to it. If you heard they'd become members of a sinister cult and had taken off to Arabia to rendezvous with a malevolent and unspeakably long-lived nobleman from Eastern Europe, to search for the Nameless City in the shifting sands of the desert, and you really wouldn't mind, then that's the person you should ask to review this book.

Because that means reading it. And that means the thetans will know you're out there. To say nothing of Tom Cruise.

Dianetics, Reviewed by Fat Joe Thomas, whom I do not know and so wouldn't particularly miss and who seems to have vanished from the blogosphere on or about April 4,

THE VERY DAY AFTER POSTING THIS REVIEW!

Half-way through this book, I wanted to stop reading. But, it wouldn’t let me. It made me finish. I couldn’t return it and get my money back and I couldn’t stop reading it. If I ever have kids, the book is going to make my kids read it. The book has put my family and friends under surveillance. They don’t want to talk to me anymore. They’re worried the book will take their money, too.