The South Atlantic Oceanic Bulldog Discovered!

It’s only Tuesday and it’s already proving to be perhaps the most historic week in bulldog history since Karsh took that classic portrait.

Only a few days ago this blog broke news of the rediscovery of the lost French Plaid Bulldog or Le Bouledogue Français Écossais, and now comes news of a new Bulldog Breakthrough, this one a shocking 20,000 leagues under of the sea!


Married To The Sea

Public Service Announcement o’ the Day: Check Your Testicles!

I just checked all the ones in my freezer and they’re fine. In fact, sauteed with a little vermouth they are wonderful!

Eddie Izzard’s Death Star Canteen Routine, in Lego

Just what it says, people. Empty your bladders before clicking Play, particularly if you’ve been helping out in any technical help forums. When he gets into the thing with the tray you will lose control

BTW: those Lego figurines’ acting is at LEAST as good as some of the Star Wars actors’.

the hottest pet trend in the entirety of recorded human history

And, ladies and gentlemen, we do not use those words lightly.

No indeed. This incredible creature is destined for the historic pantheon of pets, the greatest companions humankind has ever known, up there with the sadly now-endangered Tree Octopus, the Drop Bear, and the tragically extinct Longhorse.

Plaidies, Plaid French BulldogsWhat is this miraculous creature? It is the Plaid French Bulldog, otherwise known as Le Bouledogue Français Écossais, a long-lost, recently revived gesture of friendship and solidarity between the people of Brittany and the deposed king of Scotland, England and Wales, James II and VII.

These animals are the only dogs to come in natural plaid patterns, including a dazzling, Lilly Pulitzer-esque pink and green calico plaid pattern that would be the envy of any gay Preppie. Hat-tip to Smartdogs for the tipoff; these babies will sell like gateaux chauds!

From the site of the only breeder in the world currently offering genuine Plaid French Bulldogs:

…since it is a simple fact of life that things which cost more are inherently better, you can rest assured that our Plaid pups come with the absolute highest price for a French Bulldog that you will ever see. In fact, we guarantee it – if you find a Plaid French Bulldog that costs more than ours do, just let us know, and we’ll charge you the extra difference…

…ask us about our certified Clan Authentic Plaidies, just in time for Highland Games seasons. You’ll toss your caber when you see how cute our authentic Clan MacGregor pups are!

Plaid French Bulldogs© – If you don’t have one, you sure do suck!™

Hard to argue with that.

Bevolicher Warning: a public service announcement

The Bevolicher, a carnivorous creature which lives on the flesh of baristas, is reported to be at large. Please report Bevolicher sightings to your local branch of the Masons or Knights Templar, as appropriate. Do not approach the Bevolicher yourself, as it may be dangerously peckish and prone to noxiously obscure foreign film references.

Goddam! My birthday just disappeared!