This was all over the Tatooine group on Facebook last week, although I came to it via this link.
Leia‘s boozy 22nd birthday party is ruined when a lightsaber duel breaks out. The YouTube is over the jump (yes, I hate that but Dr Mike says it’s kinder to people with dialup).
Where is Banditcar when you need him?!?!?!?!
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No, seriously. That’s really funny if you know your Squid and your modern quotations.
Well, the Kiwis have finally done it: landed the Calamari Colossal, the King of Squid, or perhaps we should say the Prince Consort of Squid, the female of the species being deadlier, weightier, and – er – sizier than the male in the case of the Colossal Squid, Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni.
New Zealand Fisheries Minister Jim Anderton said the squid, weighing an estimated 450 kilograms (990 pounds), took two hours to land in Antarctic waters.
The fishermen were catching Patagonian toothfish south of New Zealand “and the squid was eating a hooked toothfish when it was hauled from the deep,” he said.
Colossal squid, known by the scientific name Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni, are estimated to grow up to 14 meters (46 feet) long and have long been one of the most mysterious creatures of the deep ocean.
Archie hints that servants of the Elder Gods are behind a sinister plot…indeed, who is to say that the Great Cthulhu did not send his minion to reel in some Kiwis, but was instead distracted by the toothsome toothfish and, while so distracted and munching thereupon, hauled ignominiously to the surface and then tossed in the freezer with the rest of the entrees-to-be.
Oh how the mighty have fallen. It is interesting to note that the YouTube videos feature names like “Huge Colossal Squid Caught,” as if there were a smaller kind of, uh, Colossal Fucking Squid, say the Moderately Colossal Squid or the Petite Colossal Squid. Or just the Coloss-ish Squid.
Video of this unmistakably Colossal Colossal Squid after the jump. And thanks to everyone who prodded me to blog about this, starting with Juvenal, Timethief, and Archie. As Juvenal remarked in the comments section on this very blog, it’s a strange and interconnected world we live in when a British man wakes up, checks BBC, and the first thing he thinks to do is email a Canadian he’s never met about some Antarctic squid.
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You wouldn’t want to go up against a ninja at a poetry slam. But I had no idea the beret looked so fetching with the balaclava…it’s very Left Bank Che. Video over the jump:
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Video: David Caruso works the one-liners and specs. And he works them like they’ve never been worked before.
What a facial tic is to Robert DeNiro, what a cane was to Charlie Chaplin, what breasts were to Anna Nicole Smith, sunglasses are to David Caruso. In uniting his limitless repetoire of placement and removal with his unmatched ability to deliver the cutting and dramatic one-liner, this video has perfectly showcased the entire range of Caruso‘s talent in less than four minutes.
Is there an Emmy for Best Sunspec Snap? Continue reading
Or the future, either, come to think of it. In a world which contains Bonnie Tyler‘s pared-to-the-bone proto-emo wail as well as the postmodern Total Eclipse of Good Taste by the Norwegian novelty band Hurra Torpedo, performed on electric guitar and kitchen appliances, (and now, from Defamer, comes word that even that staggery goddess of the trailer park Tara Reid has taken a shot at this tatty survivor…perhaps the last ditty that will have her) there is simply no rendition, extraordinary or otherwise, that can compare to the immortal Kiki and Herb performing an all-too-heartfelt version of Total Eclipse of the Heart.
Poor Coco!
(as for the Squid tag…what do you think happened to her, eh?
Kids don’t dissolve in seawater, my friends)
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raincoaster 