Daily Archives: October 30, 2006

You dress better than Kate Moss!

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Cocaine KateOh yes you do, even if you don’t manage to get paid for it.

I’ve never understood the “she’s a style icon” bullshit chorus for Kate Moss. Tell me what the Kate Moss style is, what the Platonic Ideal of the Kate Moss Outfit would be…you can’t, can you? That’s because there isn’t one. Listen to the fashion editors and the photographers, who all say that she photographs best naked; that’s because of the crap she insists on throwing on her body.

Kate Moss has gotten the reputation of being an incredible style leader not because she has an amazing gift for putting clothes together, but rather because she would look good in a torn, faded and full green garbage bag.

Seriously, Kate, did you mug an accountant and take his clothes?Right now, the odds are that you are dressed better than Kate Moss. I am dressed better than Kate Moss, and I’m wearing an old grey t-shirt with a peeling Maverick Mountain surfing picture on it, a faded grey velour hoodie, and a torn cream-coloured silk circle skirt lined in flannelette. Barefoot.

But at least what I’m wearing isn’t covered in Pete Doherty‘s bloodstains, or my own crusted vomit. And it doesn’t look like this: Continue reading →

Brian Atene 2.0: Good Day Mr. Kubrick 2006

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Stolen from BoingBoing, but I’m sure it’ll be all over in twelve hours. Click here for the original, perhaps the most perfect, and most perfectly amusing, bad audition ever captured on film; the fellow in the video in this post claims to be the contemporary, 43-year-old Brian Atene, and it’s just so cheaply amusing that I’m not going to question it even though the fellow looks nothing whatsoever like Brian Atene.

“Me so hoooooorny. Me love you long time!“

The real Brian Atene, if he knows what’s good for him, should just let this ride. The last thing he needs is to go toe to toe with somebody this mean and this much bigger than him.

advice show o’ the day: Calls for Cthulhu!

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When you’re at the end of the line and you just don’t know where to turn, you might as well throw yourself into the insatiable tentacles of the utter horror which is the Great Old Ones. In fairness, Cthulhu is a more attractive host than Howie Mandel.