stolen from Gawker. Location, location, location!
from the Archive
What is up I do not know, but everyone around here is high as a kite and has been for days. Things are crazy, which is the default in the neighborhood, but now they are the kind of crazy that makes people freak out and gets them life behind bars, not the normal kind of crazy that gets them called “Napoleon” and has them wash their hands facing north-northeast on Tuesdays.
The sidewalks are fairly quiet, except the drug market outside Carnegie, but the alleys have never seen such levels of activity (wouldn’t call it “life”). Quite a picture it makes, with the city gardeners watering the brightly flowered hanging baskets while in the background some grease-streaked Charles Manson lets off a fire extinguisher that he stole from a hotel so he can sell it to the pawn shop out front. Vast clouds of white powder tumble into the air past windmill-armed beggars spinning the haze into tornadoes while in the forground a couple of junkies jitterbug as their synapses snap and the sunlight refracts into a million rainbows as the pansies and petunias are carefully sprinkled and tended. Some wild-eyed guy comes tearing down the street the wrong way, skateboarding a shopping cart, while behind him the cart’s last illegal owner sprints madly; this is the Downtown EastSide version of an SUV, and not to be let go lightly. He is fitter, but much less desperate than the thief, who is skating for his life as well as his cart. If he makes it to the old Indy track he’s home free.
I begin to think I’m staggering from a secondhand high, but it’s just that every single pedestrian coming toward me lurches from left to right to left in unison. It’s like the Rockettes performing a matinee in Hell. I get that disoriented feeling you get in a train when you are sitting still and the train next to you begins to move. Are they moving, are they standing still? Am I?
And down by the train tracks I cannot figure out **what’s** going on. I hear the chinga-chunga of a train motoring along the track but, though I have a clear view over the ten lanes of track, I cannot see a single car move. Maybe I’m hearing my own wheels. I stop. It continues, chunga-chunga-chunga and the immobile boxcars look at me strangely. They have inscrutable markings, from OCEAN JINGO LIMITED and from Oaph the tagger. Mene, mene, tekel upharsin. I start skating again. The sound continues, pacing me; where the hell is it coming from? After awhile the slope evens out and I see that all along I have been paced by flats, an enormous string of them, so long that the engine is out of sight; at three feet in height, they were hiding below the angle of the slope. An entire train, hiding and following me and driving me crazy. No wonder the other trains looked at me funny.
The Mission: to infiltrate Verizon’s corporate campus and score some sweet largemouth bass. The only man for the job: the Overly-Serious Fishing Guy!
Rush right out to your local Tesco, Superstore, or WalMart (okay, maybe not WalMart. Target) and stock up on V masks, wigs, and devilishly sexy cloaks in time for the big V rally in Washington this Tuesday, November 14th. Hat optional.
quarsan dropped this in a comment on Guido‘s site; it seems that V has visited the White House. Not only the White House, in fact, but several other important sites including the Department of Justice, and brought along a cameraman to document the whole, lamentably fireworks-free yet historic event.
And what did the masked man encounter? A round dozen security personnel everywhere he went, virtually all of whom were supportive and polite. Whodathunkit? Then again, it’s a New Day in America, Rumsfeld is on pogey, Britney is getting divorced, and the Democrats have arisen after spending their last several Midterms in darkness.
Anything could happen. This is what did:
“V” Meets The Secret Service
Accepted As The Vox PopuliOn Monday, November 6, 2006, “V” visited security check points at the White House, the main Treasury, IRS and Justice Department Buildings and the Capitol. “V’s” purpose was to deliver the People’s Petitions for Redress of Grievances relating to the Government’s violations of the war powers, tax, privacy and money clauses of the Constitution, and to inform key Government officials that at least 100 more “Vs” would be at their doorstep on November 14th expecting a response to the Petitions.
At the White House about a dozen Secret Service agents appeared on foot, bicycles and car to meet “V.” While virtuously assuring the security of the state, they were curious about the image of “V” and asked many questions. Most, when asked if they had seen the movie “V for Vendetta”, smiled their approval.
When an agent asked if “V” would remove his mask for identification purposes, “V” explained that would defeat the very purpose of the mask, which was to give expression to the fact that the nation was becoming a police state, that too many people were becoming afraid to be identified as dissenters or protestors, and that this was not in the long term interest of a free people. The agents accepted the veracity of “V’s” message and refrained from veering “V” from his vanguard visit as the vox populi.
Bestill my foolish heart! I’m a sucker for a politically active anarchist who’s a whiz with alliteration.
The best part of the movie is still the surf guitar introduction. Got to love that Dick Dale.
Adaptation of the Ezekiel 25:17 done using Halo graphics. We cut a few things because they’d be difficult to recreate, however, what was done was matched angle for angle. Master Chief is Spartan 117, so this is called Ezekiel 25:117 :-)
raincoaster 