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Monthly Archives: January 2007

quiz: which fucking stupid goddam candy heart are you, and what’s it to YOU if I am?

No comment. NO fucking comment. Thanks, Stiletto Girl; thanks for nothing.

Your Candy Heart Says “Get Real”

You’re a bit of a cynic when it comes to love.You don’t lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart.
Your ideal Valentine’s Day date: is all about the person you’re seeing (with no mentions of v-day!)
Your flirting style: [...]

Hermione the poisoner!

Gadzooks! Mon Dieu! Zounds! And Various Other Vivid And Archaic Expressions Of Horror!
Mild-mannered Hogwarts student Hermione Granger is a poisoner!
Ah, we shoulda seen it coming! Don’t the neighbors always say, “He was the quiet type, kept to himself mostly” after the cops have gone and the news crews arrive at the crime site?
Yes, it appears [...]

a field guide to fandom, Barbaro edition

 
Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you this amazing Hinterland’s Who’s Who guide to Barbaro messageboard fans. It’s from the Philadelphia Weekly, who should immediately give D-Mac a raise, and gotten at via Bridlepath.
Oh, I know what you’re thinking: but raincoaster, I’m not a horsefan; but raincoaster, I don’t care about horse fans; I don’t want [...]

quiz: what donut are you?

Don’t click away! This little item, although disguised as a common internet quiz filler post, is actually a profoundly revelatory and life-changing toolkit for the new century (TM).

You Are a Caramel Crunch Donut

You’re a complex creature, and you’re guilty of complicating things for fun.You’ve been known to sit around pondering the meaning of life…Or at [...]

human sexuality and robot intelligence

engtech, master of blogpimping, dropped this one into the comments section. I’m not above syphoning off his readership, so I’m re-posting this here. So there.

Harold is a Robot #2 - Sexual Innuendo
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Donnie Davies speaks!

And he is speaking to YOU! from the comments on this very blog. And here is what Donnie Davies had to say:
Thanks so much for the support, everybody. I tell you what, mysterious electronic attacks, phone calls from untracable numbers that claim to be the U.S. Postal Service offering to deliver lost packages and an enormous amount [...]

Cthulhudance

Is this the next great web sensation? After a few drinks it’s just as catchy as the damn hampsterdance, ya know. What better way to start off the day than with a screen full of writhing, twitching, gibbering Elder Gods, eh?

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smoke pot, lose weight: the best of all possible worlds

Well actually, as a not-potter myself the best of all possible worlds would be one where the stuff didn’t stink like candy made from filthy socks, rolled in skunk cabbage, but that’s just me.
From CNN via Fark comes news that Big Pharma, our beloved overlords, renowned for bypassing the chance to make a quick buck in [...]

the call of Cthulhu!

from Cthulhu Creates!
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what is your life worth?

This is the simple internet quiz. We will get into profound examination of the question later, once I’ve had my coffee. Enjoy your filler; it’s good for you. Keeps the blog regular!

Your Life Is Worth…

$855,500

How Much Is Your Life Worth?
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melon baller!

Sometimes you run across evidence of another person’s sex life on the internet and you think:

Wow. I guess I’m normal then.
Wow. No wonder he’s got no life.
Wow. Just: Wow.

I’m not sure if DefrostIndoors who passed this along to me wants her name, or even her alias, associated with this. I have no need to know [...]

cooking for dummies @ the White House

Stole this from ThinkProgress.
Really, what can you add to this, except to note that the author of this book is the newly-installed pastry chef in the White House.
Good to see he’s got some experience at the job.
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How to: care and maintenance of the swedish fish

Some of our readers here on the ol’ raincoaster blog are what is known as “fish-keepers.” Now, naturally you as a healthy, normal person will imagine that this is an obscure order of monks in service to the Esoteric Order of Dagon, but you would be wrong: these are people actually prefer fish as pets. Bizarrely, [...]

somewhere, over the hiccups

Well that will stop them. An amazing little video from nakedrabbit which manages to be cute, wistful, sad, uncloying and profound all at the same time; it’s the dystopian version of Le Petit Prince.

After long struggles, this new film is complete! A two-minute stop-motion music video of sorts, “Over the Hiccups” is part of Negativland’s new DVD [...]

God hates a fig

I had no idea God hated so much. Shrimp. Fags. Figs.
This site has everything a crazed zealot could ask for: a purportedly divinely-dictated screed, vaguely relevant Bible quotations, a list of handy-dandy propaganda (Are You Being Oppressed for Your Intolerance?), a guide to recognizing closet fig-eaters, you name it!

The Evil In Our Midst
How long can we ignore the [...]

Pirates of the Great Salt Lake

Stolen from the Baby Jebus.

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When Giant Pacific octopi attack

Metro passes along this beauty of an installment in our ongoing series When Octopi Of Various Kinds Attack. Yes indeedy, we here on the soggy left coast of the continent sure know how to welcome tourists.
By strangling them with our tentacles.

I saw a strand of red kelp drifting by. I noticed a line of white [...]

u got served

You got served, and so did everybody else. The Ronald McHummer McDonald’s sign generator, thanks to Juvenal for passing it along.
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agenting: the second-oldest profession

Some people take it FAR more seriously than others. As I said on Gawker, there was really only one, but Wylie kept changing his wigs.
A literary agent pal sends along a braggy email from a fellow agent; apparently, it’s been floating around the industry a bit.
From: [lady agent]
Sent: Monday, January 22, 2007 11:11 AM
To: [long [...]

sex sells

I’m sure we can all agree that nowhere on Earth is safe sex quite as important as it is in a cathouse. Finally, the Humane Society of Kentucky has decided to do something about that; they’re bypassing the oft-subservient human staffers and advertising directly to the animals who get the urges.
An advertising campaign by the Kentucky Humane [...]