Sometimes I take requests: it’s easier than thinking up my own blog content!
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Daily Archives: February 13, 2007
today in confirming your worst suspicions about humanity news…
Sales of the Beretta CX4 Storm 9-mm, semi-automatic carbine tripled in the month after Kimveer Gill used one in his infamous shooting rampage at Dawson College in Montreal which left himself and business student Anastasia De Sousa dead.
This is certainly a case that brings out the very best in people. And that’s the very best in these people.
Is it so very wrong to wish that all those additional sales result in suicides?
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quiz: which character from the Iliad are you?
Here is my all-time favorite mass transit story, and it’s even true!
My English professor rode the bus every day. He rode the bus in from White Rock. It took long hours.
Sorry, channelling Hemingway; it’s the English major in me.
Anyway, on the bus, he met many an interesting character, as one does. He met so many, in fact, that he eventually decided to stop meeting anyone at all, and began reading on the bus.
This was not a successful solution, for lo the world is never short of those with an opinion or two to spare on the subject of a total stranger’s taste in books (to the point where I used to use a book cover that said “I want YOU…to leave me alone”).
One day, he was reading a book, as I think I have explained was his wont, which I suppose means what he wonted to do, and the book just happened to be the Iliad (in translation; he was no showoff). Well, onto the bus lumbers and BAM! down into the seat next to him sits a huge, hulking biker of much black leather, clanking chains, and many a fierce and prison-made tattoo.
Great, thinks the mild-mannered and moderate-bodied English professor. Try to be invisible, he thinks.
He fails.
POKE goes the biker’s finger into the book.
Da Iliad! he shouts. I love dat book! Rumble in Troy, eh! Ah, it’s all women, man. All da trouble in da world: It’s always all about da fuckin’ women.
Which Greek Warrior From The Iliad Are You?
Agamemnon: You are the king of Mycenae…and assholery. I’m telling you, sacrificing your daughter to fuel your ambitions doesn’t win you too many friends.
Take this quiz!
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Blame Germany!
Is this who’s to blame for the choking miasma that inhabits the ladies’ room at Metrotown? The brave or desperate souls who venture into the complicated tunnel system behind the Food Court (and who survive) tell tales of a horrible, synthetic, eye-biting cloud of Spring Meadow-scented vapour. We here at the ol’ raincoaster blog had always put it down to the suburban penchant for Aqua Net, Charlie, and the apparent inability of mall-goers to deposit their deposits within the toilet bowl, instead of all over the seat, the floor, and the cubicle walls.
How wrong we were.
It turns out that Germans are apparently so stinky that only crop-duster-sized doses of deodorant are effective on them. Unfortunately, they are equally effective at setting off fire alarms, as a group of blushing, sweating, but presumably Meadow-Fresh teenagers discovered.
“The fumes of the pleasant-smelling deodorant were so intense that they drifted up to the ceiling and set off a fire detector,” said Volker Buttgereit of the Buesum police force… “Hopefully the girls will get by with a little less spray next time,” said Buttgereit.
Well I for one fully support the use of aromatherapy candles in ladies’ rooms. If nothing else, the resulting explosions should singe off their underarm hair, thus reducing the need for deodorant in the first place.
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Anna Nicole’s Fridge contents!
Check this out: looks like Howard K. forgot to sanitize the crime scene before the cops and/or the reporters from TMZ could get there. He was, reports say, much more thorough when Daniel ankled this planet.
Yogurt, sure. Weight loss shakes? Of course. Vitamins? Whatever, who cares?
So far, it looks like my fridge, except I would never buy an American brand of Worchestershire sauce.
But wait. What’s that I spy?
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Heroin!
Of course, the alternate theory to the ever-popular The Lawyer/Butler/Babydaddy Pretender Did It theory is that Trimspa got wise to her Slimfast-suckin’, cheatin’ gullet, and had her offed before the news could leak, potentially undoing millions of dollars’ and several years’ worth of marketing work.
As for me, well I have an alibi. I was blogging at the time.
Also, was she really fucking her bodyguard? Go her!
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raincoaster 