fairy for sale!
02 Apr 2007 69 Comments
in Allegory, April Fool's, Art, Fantasy, Humour, Science, Supernatural, Weird, fairies, gender, humor
Naturally, if you’re a blogger of the world in any way, shape, or form, you’ll have often come across the opportunity to buy, or at least rent, a fairy
This is different. Buy a Fairy on eBay, via Easy in the comments section of Neatorama.
Last week a shocking story hit the news around the world.
What appeared to be the mummified remains of a fairy were discovered in the Derbyshire countryside. The 8inch remains complete with wings; skin. teeth and flowing red hair were discovered by a local man while walking his dog along an old remote roman road in the Derbyshire countryside, an area which has long been shrouded in mystery with tales of … strange “dancing” lights on warm summer evenings…This is your chance to own the actual fairy that featured in so many stories around the world…current bid £48.00
Okay, so it’s not the first time someone’s been offered the opportunity to buy a fairy at a rave. Still…This is far more significant and positive than a chance to come in contact with the so-called alien of alien autopsy infamy. After all, everyone knows about those nasty alien anal probes, but who ever heard of a fai – oh, never mind.
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Apr 03, 2007 @ 02:11:38
Go get yourself a copy of the Lady Cottington’s Pressed Fairy book, there’s more where that came from :P
Apr 04, 2007 @ 01:04:10
Indeed I have one. Truly a modern classic!
Apr 04, 2007 @ 02:24:29
I don’t know. I may be airheaded but this smacks similar of Barbarro deception.
Apr 04, 2007 @ 02:34:27
What, you mean he’s not dead? That sneaky Elvis bugger!!! He stole him! And Shergar too!
Apr 04, 2007 @ 02:45:22
Of course he’s not dead. The 37th largest state can’t be wrong, can it? (BTW, Kentucky used to be a part of Virginia, which explains SO SO MUCH).
Apr 04, 2007 @ 06:25:57
Indeed it does. I await FFE’s input on this issue. Should be interesting.
Apr 05, 2007 @ 16:07:27
Punch had a terrific cartoon around that time showing two punk rockers with a tube of glue, one saying to the other:
“I just had a mind-blowin’ fought. For all we know, we might be sniffing Shergar!”
Apr 07, 2007 @ 00:47:12
Alas, poor Shergar. I knew him well.
Aug 02, 2007 @ 20:42:00
Ew. Is it real? It looks like it was kinda creepy at one time when it was alive…..
Aug 02, 2007 @ 23:43:24
Well, it would have been chubbier and probably a lot livelier.
Aug 03, 2007 @ 01:05:36
Better three months later on this issue than never, I always say . . . .
“Stiletto Girl said,
April 4, 2007 at 2:45 am
Of course he’s not dead. The 37th largest state can’t be wrong, can it? (BTW, Kentucky used to be a part of Virginia, which explains SO SO MUCH).
raincoaster said,
April 4, 2007 at 6:25 am
Indeed it does. I await FFE’s input on this issue. Should be interesting.”
There’s a reason why we divested ourselves (or allowed ourselves to be forcibly divested of) Ky and Tennessee – KY’s abbreviation bearing an uncomfortable similarity to a personal lubricant notwithstanding.
And to highlight those reasons, I’ll tell a couple of jokes:
Know what safe sex in eastern Kentucky is? Waiting till the deputy and child protective services worker pull out of your holler.
A McDowell County, W. Va. health services worker is conducting a survey of why there are so many out-of-wedlock and teen pregnancies in the county. The worker arrives at one home about three miles up a holler from US 52 and finds the door answered by a seven-foot tall woman with no apparent sign of children about.
The worker asks the seven-foot tall woman if she uses birth controls, to which she replies “Yes ma’am, Ah do”
After asking the woman which method she uses from a lengthy list, the West Va. amazon says, “The bucket and saucer way, dearie.”
Not seeing that particular option among her checklist, the worker asks her what the bucket and saucer method entails.
“Why, my man and me went down to Welch a few years ago and saw a big green pickle bucket outside the McDonalds when we had our wedding dinner. Now, he’s shorter than me, so when we do the deed, Ah stand across the bucket so he can reach me. I watch him and when his eyes get as big as saucers, Ah kick the bucket out from under him.”
Aug 03, 2007 @ 01:08:07
Ky and West Virginia, I mean – I’m still pissed off that people think Fred Thompson – a Tennessean, ostensibly – has substance as a human, much less a politician and presidential candidate.
But to be fair to Tennessee . . . .
How can you tell your mother-in-law is from Hawkins County, Tennessee? She doesn’t take the Marlboro out of her mouth when she tells the state trooper to go fuck himself.
Aug 03, 2007 @ 01:17:04
And to be perfectly fair to Virginia . . .
How many Richmonders does it take to change a lightbulb? Four – one to tell the overseer to get one of the slaves out of the field to change it, someone to tell the slave to stepinfetchit, a neighbor to congratulate the owner on having such well-mannered slaves, and someone to mix the drinks.
Aug 03, 2007 @ 01:21:10
I could live in Richmond. I don’t care what colour the slaves are as long as they mix a good Martini.
Aug 03, 2007 @ 01:36:32
Then, obviously, you haven’t drank any of the Virginia Gentleman line of liquors . . . .
Aug 03, 2007 @ 19:44:03
Virginia sucks, Raincoaster. It’s oppressive. Although I don’t know if living in NORTHERN Virginia is an accurate reflection of the rest of the state.
Of course, I’m not fond of the rural parts either. Just recently, somewhere down near Bristol, some fucking asswipe at the gas station at 3 am gave me shit for not properly putting together the Krispy Kreme box. Jesus Christ I told him those two doughnuts were gonna be gone before we even hit TN.
Aug 04, 2007 @ 01:03:03
They grade you on donut handling? This is a new low. Perhaps I should skip Virginia and coax Michael Lewis into giving me a tour of New Orleans in a carriage with a pair of Hackneys. He’d do it, too.
Aug 04, 2007 @ 01:05:25
Yeah. He had no business telling me how to handle my donuts!
Aug 04, 2007 @ 01:05:40
Go to New Orleans, have some beignets.
Aug 04, 2007 @ 01:10:29
I’m sure you’re more than capable of handling your own donuts, although not short of volunteers to give you a hand with them.
Aug 04, 2007 @ 01:14:09
This guy looked like an escapee from the set of The Hills Have Eyes. He’s not going anywhere near my box or my donuts.
Aug 04, 2007 @ 01:58:31
Good call. He’s probably still pining after the loss of his tender love from Deliverance days.
Aug 04, 2007 @ 03:31:45
Bristol? You were only 60 miles from me.
Having lived in Tidewater, Falls Church, Alexandria, Richmond, and far Southwest, I can say with some authority the following . . .
Tidewater’s probably the best overall place to live, even with Regent University being there.
Northern Va. costs too damn much and has only Dunkin Donuts, but you can still get Chinese food at 1:30 a.m. there.
Richmond still has the malarial and typhoid-enhanced charm it possessed before and after the Civil War. The only time I really enjoyed the place was when I was piss drunk and didn’t know where I was.
For every nice piece of scenery in Southwest Va., there’s two strip jobs and a Walmart. While I’m cool with everyone having their own belief system, SWVA ensured that I would have a deep, abiding disgust for the Southern Baptist Convention, summer missionaries and other things too numerous to mention in this post.
One day, Stiletto and I are going to have to compare notes here.
Aug 04, 2007 @ 04:26:19
The thought frightens me. Nations could fall.
“sometimes I think the most merciful thing in the world is the inability of the human mind to correlate its contents. We live on a placid isle of ignorance amidst black seas of chaos, and it is not meant that we should voyage far.”
Aug 05, 2007 @ 17:43:18
I prefer to think of it in Bakuninite terms: “The passion to destroy is also a creative one”
Aug 05, 2007 @ 20:12:08
” “The passion to destroy is also a creative one””
Is this just as applicable to the way I feel about men after I date them?
Aug 05, 2007 @ 23:09:18
Well, you could start on the donut guy on I-81 . . . . . Which exit was it? I’ve probably been at that place before.
Aug 06, 2007 @ 00:18:09
I’ll tell you on the way back Tuesday night.
Aug 06, 2007 @ 01:20:12
I look forward to the next installment of the Michelin Guide . . . .
Aug 06, 2007 @ 08:15:40
Kali is on the loose, boys!
Aug 06, 2007 @ 09:45:44
Marxism, Hinduism . . . talk about mixed metaphors, yeeeehhawwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aug 06, 2007 @ 10:27:32
Who ever said Marx was an atheist? He’d have believed in SG!
Aug 06, 2007 @ 13:27:16
SG, as in Stiletto Girl? Why, thank you!
Aug 06, 2007 @ 17:08:40
She’s definitely no Suicide Girl!
Aug 07, 2007 @ 01:00:03
SG as in Stiletto Girl as in it’s easier to spell than stilleto.
Aug 15, 2007 @ 04:28:17
Ummm… i don’t have ANY idea what you guys are talking about… then again i merely skimmed your posts… anyway, I say the “fairy” is fake.
Aug 15, 2007 @ 04:46:30
But if you’d read our posts in detail, you would KNOW one way or the other. There’s no Coles Notes for this, baby!
Dec 11, 2007 @ 07:44:00
OMG r day realy real omg i’m sooo happy..!!! omg omg omg soo shoked.. shit.. omg i luv em..!!
Jan 17, 2008 @ 21:54:38
http://www.hoax-slayer.com/derbyshire-fairy-hoax.shtml
its a hoax sorry people…its fake look it up
Jan 17, 2008 @ 23:24:57
How do I know this Hoax-Slayer site is legitimate? Eh? Are they associated with a University? Do I know these people? You don’t even have an AVATAR: how am I supposed to take your word for it?
Feb 27, 2008 @ 12:40:56
what the hell y’all been drinkin!!!! Fairies…..mumified!!!!!! of course its a god dammned hoax. Even those of y’all been smokin pot should see through load a baloney! F’ck’s sake!
Feb 27, 2008 @ 12:55:58
Whatever we may have been imbibing, our spelling and punctuation are quite clearly superior to yours. Indeed, it is you who appear to be the Dorito-munching slacker here!
Mar 20, 2008 @ 01:31:55
You know..that might be real but who knows..It might be computerized. Who here plays Runescape? Way better than this cr4p! If you do, add me I’m Zallrzr here to own your nooby @$s
Mar 20, 2008 @ 01:33:00
STFU man this isnt about runescape, but stil i can own you Zall. Im a 107..
Mar 20, 2008 @ 01:33:46
Wow..I’m a 130 my acc..is betta then yas betta than yas
Mar 20, 2008 @ 01:34:29
Added
Mar 20, 2008 @ 01:35:00
kk whats ur username?
Mar 20, 2008 @ 01:35:24
Death’s Encore
Mar 20, 2008 @ 01:35:51
kk added but i have a bf
Mar 20, 2008 @ 01:36:12
lol ur a girl???
Mar 20, 2008 @ 01:36:40
No..im a boy..
Mar 20, 2008 @ 01:37:02
lol w/e
Mar 20, 2008 @ 01:37:11
If you’re confused about whether or not Runescape Rocks! is a girl, why don’t you just look in a mirror; the tracking technology says you’re both using the same computer.
Mar 20, 2008 @ 01:38:38
all ppl exept me and zall are nerds..nerds fuck you all bitches i love zall she sounds hooooooooooot!!!
Mar 20, 2008 @ 01:39:07
lol?…
Mar 20, 2008 @ 01:39:26
its true
Mar 20, 2008 @ 04:12:13
Carry on, ladies! My next goal is 900 comments and you look to be good for at least half that!
Mar 21, 2008 @ 20:48:50
This one goes out to RAVYNN… Just because some one copied the pic and put it on the damn hoax slayer sight dont mean its a hoax… I mean even my dumb ass could have copy n pasted the fary to some sight… You never know hell the ppl who found it could have put it on there so ppl would leave them alone about see n it for themselves… Like I said on the other comment thing on the other sight… You grew up believe n in farytales all your life so its hard for you to believe in anything else as others of us grew up believing it’s all true and that one day someone would prove it and now that some one has we cant believe it and ppl like you cant either so you have to make up excuses for it not to be real… Well thats all I have to say for now so ttyl everyone… Peace Out!!!!!!
Mar 22, 2008 @ 07:50:25
Peace out indeed. And I’ll have what you’re having.
Apr 06, 2008 @ 12:20:31
it is real?
Apr 06, 2008 @ 12:39:32
How can you doubt? Look at all the evidence we’ve collected:
http://raincoaster.com/category/fairies/
May 12, 2008 @ 14:22:45
que grande es el photoshop
Jun 01, 2008 @ 22:37:20
whaaat
i see no red hair.
i want to see a live one
Dec 31, 2009 @ 14:26:37
What the hell, is that real?
Dec 31, 2009 @ 18:55:27
WHAT? Do you mean to say you haven’t seen this?
http://raincoaster.com/2007/04/01/mummified-fairy-remains-found/
Feb 27, 2010 @ 17:27:50
um yeah. it looks anerexic, lol. my moms from england and im gonna go there in a while so its pretty shockin.
Mar 21, 2010 @ 23:55:32
Yeah ,corse its real! how can you NOT believe they real.Well even if that spesific pic ain’t real ,doesn’t mean they don’t exist .you know fairies can camouflage themselves extremely well so you’ll probably neva see one ,but they all around you.think about it.
Pie face out xx
Mar 22, 2010 @ 05:44:38
What…what are you saying? Are you saying that picture’s not a real picture? of COURSE it is a real picture; just look at it. You can see it’s not text, you can verify it’s a two-dimensional representation of something. If it were a painting, such skill would have long since made the painter and painting world-famous! What can it be but a picture?
Please don’t make such irresponsible and frivolous claims in the future.