Skip navigation

fairy for sale!

fairy autopsy photo.

Naturally, if you’re a blogger of the world in any way, shape, or form, you’ll have often come across the opportunity to buy, or at least rent, a fairy before.

This is different. Buy a Fairy on eBay, via Easy in the comments section of Neatorama.

Last week a shocking story hit the news around the world.

What appeared to be the mummified remains of a fairy were discovered in the Derbyshire countryside. The 8inch remains complete with wings; skin. teeth and flowing red hair were discovered by a local man while walking his dog along an old remote roman road in the Derbyshire countryside, an area which has long been shrouded in mystery with tales of … strange “dancing” lights on warm summer evenings…This is your chance to own the actual fairy that featured in so many stories around the world…current bid £48.00

Okay, so it’s not the first time someone’s been offered the opportunity to buy a fairy at a rave. Still…This is far more significant and positive than a chance to come in contact with the so-called alien of alien autopsy infamy. After all, everyone knows about those nasty alien anal probes, but who ever heard of a fai - oh, never mind.

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

63 Comments

  1. Posted April 3, 2007 at 2:11 am | Permalink

    Go get yourself a copy of the Lady Cottington’s Pressed Fairy book, there’s more where that came from :P

  2. Posted April 4, 2007 at 1:04 am | Permalink

    Indeed I have one. Truly a modern classic!

  3. Posted April 4, 2007 at 2:24 am | Permalink

    I don’t know. I may be airheaded but this smacks similar of Barbarro deception.

  4. Posted April 4, 2007 at 2:34 am | Permalink

    What, you mean he’s not dead? That sneaky Elvis bugger!!! He stole him! And Shergar too!

  5. Posted April 4, 2007 at 2:45 am | Permalink

    Of course he’s not dead. The 37th largest state can’t be wrong, can it? (BTW, Kentucky used to be a part of Virginia, which explains SO SO MUCH).

  6. Posted April 4, 2007 at 6:25 am | Permalink

    Indeed it does. I await FFE’s input on this issue. Should be interesting.

  7. Posted April 5, 2007 at 4:07 pm | Permalink

    Punch had a terrific cartoon around that time showing two punk rockers with a tube of glue, one saying to the other:

    “I just had a mind-blowin’ fought. For all we know, we might be sniffing Shergar!”

  8. Posted April 7, 2007 at 12:47 am | Permalink

    Alas, poor Shergar. I knew him well.

  9. JMae
    Posted August 2, 2007 at 8:42 pm | Permalink

    Ew. Is it real? It looks like it was kinda creepy at one time when it was alive…..

  10. Posted August 2, 2007 at 11:43 pm | Permalink

    Well, it would have been chubbier and probably a lot livelier.

  11. Posted August 3, 2007 at 1:05 am | Permalink

    Better three months later on this issue than never, I always say . . . .

    “Stiletto Girl said,
    April 4, 2007 at 2:45 am

    Of course he’s not dead. The 37th largest state can’t be wrong, can it? (BTW, Kentucky used to be a part of Virginia, which explains SO SO MUCH).

    raincoaster said,
    April 4, 2007 at 6:25 am

    Indeed it does. I await FFE’s input on this issue. Should be interesting.”

    There’s a reason why we divested ourselves (or allowed ourselves to be forcibly divested of) Ky and Tennessee - KY’s abbreviation bearing an uncomfortable similarity to a personal lubricant notwithstanding.

    And to highlight those reasons, I’ll tell a couple of jokes:

    Know what safe sex in eastern Kentucky is? Waiting till the deputy and child protective services worker pull out of your holler.

    A McDowell County, W. Va. health services worker is conducting a survey of why there are so many out-of-wedlock and teen pregnancies in the county. The worker arrives at one home about three miles up a holler from US 52 and finds the door answered by a seven-foot tall woman with no apparent sign of children about.

    The worker asks the seven-foot tall woman if she uses birth controls, to which she replies “Yes ma’am, Ah do”

    After asking the woman which method she uses from a lengthy list, the West Va. amazon says, “The bucket and saucer way, dearie.”

    Not seeing that particular option among her checklist, the worker asks her what the bucket and saucer method entails.

    “Why, my man and me went down to Welch a few years ago and saw a big green pickle bucket outside the McDonalds when we had our wedding dinner. Now, he’s shorter than me, so when we do the deed, Ah stand across the bucket so he can reach me. I watch him and when his eyes get as big as saucers, Ah kick the bucket out from under him.”

  12. Posted August 3, 2007 at 1:08 am | Permalink

    Ky and West Virginia, I mean - I’m still pissed off that people think Fred Thompson - a Tennessean, ostensibly - has substance as a human, much less a politician and presidential candidate.

    But to be fair to Tennessee . . . .

    How can you tell your mother-in-law is from Hawkins County, Tennessee? She doesn’t take the Marlboro out of her mouth when she tells the state trooper to go fuck himself.

  13. Posted August 3, 2007 at 1:17 am | Permalink

    And to be perfectly fair to Virginia . . .

    How many Richmonders does it take to change a lightbulb? Four - one to tell the overseer to get one of the slaves out of the field to change it, someone to tell the slave to stepinfetchit, a neighbor to congratulate the owner on having such well-mannered slaves, and someone to mix the drinks.

  14. Posted August 3, 2007 at 1:21 am | Permalink

    I could live in Richmond. I don’t care what colour the slaves are as long as they mix a good Martini.

  15. Posted August 3, 2007 at 1:36 am | Permalink

    Then, obviously, you haven’t drank any of the Virginia Gentleman line of liquors . . . .

  16. Posted August 3, 2007 at 7:44 pm | Permalink

    Virginia sucks, Raincoaster. It’s oppressive. Although I don’t know if living in NORTHERN Virginia is an accurate reflection of the rest of the state.

    Of course, I’m not fond of the rural parts either. Just recently, somewhere down near Bristol, some fucking asswipe at the gas station at 3 am gave me shit for not properly putting together the Krispy Kreme box. Jesus Christ I told him those two doughnuts were gonna be gone before we even hit TN.

  17. Posted August 4, 2007 at 1:03 am | Permalink

    They grade you on donut handling? This is a new low. Perhaps I should skip Virginia and coax Michael Lewis into giving me a tour of New Orleans in a carriage with a pair of Hackneys. He’d do it, too.

  18. Posted August 4, 2007 at 1:05 am | Permalink

    Yeah. He had no business telling me how to handle my donuts!

  19. Posted August 4, 2007 at 1:05 am | Permalink

    Go to New Orleans, have some beignets.

  20. Posted August 4, 2007 at 1:10 am | Permalink

    I’m sure you’re more than capable of handling your own donuts, although not short of volunteers to give you a hand with them.

  21. Posted August 4, 2007 at 1:14 am | Permalink

    This guy looked like an escapee from the set of The Hills Have Eyes. He’s not going anywhere near my box or my donuts.

  22. Posted August 4, 2007 at 1:58 am | Permalink

    Good call. He’s probably still pining after the loss of his tender love from Deliverance days.

  23. Posted August 4, 2007 at 3:31 am | Permalink

    Bristol? You were only 60 miles from me.
    Having lived in Tidewater, Falls Church, Alexandria, Richmond, and far Southwest, I can say with some authority the following . . .

    Tidewater’s probably the best overall place to live, even with Regent University being there.

    Northern Va. costs too damn much and has only Dunkin Donuts, but you can still get Chinese food at 1:30 a.m. there.

    Richmond still has the malarial and typhoid-enhanced charm it possessed before and after the Civil War. The only time I really enjoyed the place was when I was piss drunk and didn’t know where I was.

    For every nice piece of scenery in Southwest Va., there’s two strip jobs and a Walmart. While I’m cool with everyone having their own belief system, SWVA ensured that I would have a deep, abiding disgust for the Southern Baptist Convention, summer missionaries and other things too numerous to mention in this post.

    One day, Stiletto and I are going to have to compare notes here.

  24. Posted August 4, 2007 at 4:26 am | Permalink

    The thought frightens me. Nations could fall.

    “sometimes I think the most merciful thing in the world is the inability of the human mind to correlate its contents. We live on a placid isle of ignorance amidst black seas of chaos, and it is not meant that we should voyage far.”

  25. Posted August 5, 2007 at 5:43 pm | Permalink

    I prefer to think of it in Bakuninite terms: “The passion to destroy is also a creative one”

  26. Posted August 5, 2007 at 8:12 pm | Permalink

    ” “The passion to destroy is also a creative one””

    Is this just as applicable to the way I feel about men after I date them?

  27. Posted August 5, 2007 at 11:09 pm | Permalink

    Well, you could start on the donut guy on I-81 . . . . . Which exit was it? I’ve probably been at that place before.

  28. Posted August 6, 2007 at 12:18 am | Permalink

    I’ll tell you on the way back Tuesday night.

  29. Posted August 6, 2007 at 1:20 am | Permalink

    I look forward to the next installment of the Michelin Guide . . . .

  30. Posted August 6, 2007 at 8:15 am | Permalink

    Kali is on the loose, boys!

  31. Posted August 6, 2007 at 9:45 am | Permalink

    Marxism, Hinduism . . . talk about mixed metaphors, yeeeehhawwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  32. Posted August 6, 2007 at 10:27 am | Permalink

    Who ever said Marx was an atheist? He’d have believed in SG!

  33. Posted August 6, 2007 at 1:27 pm | Permalink

    SG, as in Stiletto Girl? Why, thank you!

  34. Posted August 6, 2007 at 5:08 pm | Permalink

    She’s definitely no Suicide Girl!

  35. Posted August 7, 2007 at 1:00 am | Permalink

    SG as in Stiletto Girl as in it’s easier to spell than stilleto.

  36. Confused
    Posted August 15, 2007 at 4:28 am | Permalink

    Ummm… i don’t have ANY idea what you guys are talking about… then again i merely skimmed your posts… anyway, I say the “fairy” is fake.

  37. Posted August 15, 2007 at 4:46 am | Permalink

    But if you’d read our posts in detail, you would KNOW one way or the other. There’s no Coles Notes for this, baby!

  38. mandy
    Posted December 11, 2007 at 7:44 am | Permalink

    OMG r day realy real omg i’m sooo happy..!!! omg omg omg soo shoked.. shit.. omg i luv em..!!

  39. Posted January 17, 2008 at 9:54 pm | Permalink

    http://www.hoax-slayer.com/derbyshire-fairy-hoax.shtml
    its a hoax sorry people…its fake look it up

  40. Posted January 17, 2008 at 11:24 pm | Permalink

    How do I know this Hoax-Slayer site is legitimate? Eh? Are they associated with a University? Do I know these people? You don’t even have an AVATAR: how am I supposed to take your word for it?

  41. miss moocha
    Posted February 27, 2008 at 12:40 pm | Permalink

    what the hell y’all been drinkin!!!! Fairies…..mumified!!!!!! of course its a god dammned hoax. Even those of y’all been smokin pot should see through load a baloney! F’ck’s sake!

  42. Posted February 27, 2008 at 12:55 pm | Permalink

    Whatever we may have been imbibing, our spelling and punctuation are quite clearly superior to yours. Indeed, it is you who appear to be the Dorito-munching slacker here!

  43. Runescape Rocks!
    Posted March 20, 2008 at 1:31 am | Permalink

    You know..that might be real but who knows..It might be computerized. Who here plays Runescape? Way better than this cr4p! If you do, add me I’m Zallrzr here to own your nooby @$s

  44. lol
    Posted March 20, 2008 at 1:33 am | Permalink

    STFU man this isnt about runescape, but stil i can own you Zall. Im a 107..

  45. Runescape Rocks!
    Posted March 20, 2008 at 1:33 am | Permalink

    Wow..I’m a 130 my acc..is betta then yas betta than yas

  46. lol
    Posted March 20, 2008 at 1:34 am | Permalink

    Added

  47. Runescape Rocks!
    Posted March 20, 2008 at 1:35 am | Permalink

    kk whats ur username?

  48. lol
    Posted March 20, 2008 at 1:35 am | Permalink

    Death’s Encore

  49. Runescape Rocks!
    Posted March 20, 2008 at 1:35 am | Permalink

    kk added but i have a bf

  50. lol
    Posted March 20, 2008 at 1:36 am | Permalink

    lol ur a girl???

  51. Runescape Rocks!
    Posted March 20, 2008 at 1:36 am | Permalink

    No..im a boy..

  52. lol
    Posted March 20, 2008 at 1:37 am | Permalink

    lol w/e

  53. Posted March 20, 2008 at 1:37 am | Permalink

    If you’re confused about whether or not Runescape Rocks! is a girl, why don’t you just look in a mirror; the tracking technology says you’re both using the same computer.

  54. lol
    Posted March 20, 2008 at 1:38 am | Permalink

    all ppl exept me and zall are nerds..nerds fuck you all bitches i love zall she sounds hooooooooooot!!!

  55. Runescape Rocks!
    Posted March 20, 2008 at 1:39 am | Permalink

    lol?…

  56. lol
    Posted March 20, 2008 at 1:39 am | Permalink

    its true

  57. Posted March 20, 2008 at 4:12 am | Permalink

    Carry on, ladies! My next goal is 900 comments and you look to be good for at least half that!

  58. Posted March 21, 2008 at 8:48 pm | Permalink

    This one goes out to RAVYNN… Just because some one copied the pic and put it on the damn hoax slayer sight dont mean its a hoax… I mean even my dumb ass could have copy n pasted the fary to some sight… You never know hell the ppl who found it could have put it on there so ppl would leave them alone about see n it for themselves… Like I said on the other comment thing on the other sight… You grew up believe n in farytales all your life so its hard for you to believe in anything else as others of us grew up believing it’s all true and that one day someone would prove it and now that some one has we cant believe it and ppl like you cant either so you have to make up excuses for it not to be real… Well thats all I have to say for now so ttyl everyone… Peace Out!!!!!!

  59. Posted March 22, 2008 at 7:50 am | Permalink

    Peace out indeed. And I’ll have what you’re having.

  60. dee
    Posted April 6, 2008 at 12:20 pm | Permalink

    it is real?

  61. Posted April 6, 2008 at 12:39 pm | Permalink

    How can you doubt? Look at all the evidence we’ve collected:
    http://raincoaster.com/category/fairies/

  62. Eloiden
    Posted May 12, 2008 at 2:22 pm | Permalink

    que grande es el photoshop

  63. kim
    Posted June 1, 2008 at 10:37 pm | Permalink

    whaaat
    i see no red hair.
    i want to see a live one

One Trackback/Pingback

  1. [...] Various proofs were brought forward and each, in turn, mocked. Fossilized fairies. Mummified fairies. Even, in the ultimate legitimization that Western society offers, Retailed Fairies (free shipping to Neverland). [...]

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *
*
*