Naturally, if you’re a blogger of the world in any way, shape, or form, you’ll have often come across the opportunity to buy, or at least rent, a fairy before.
This is different. Buy a Fairy on eBay, via Easy in the comments section of Neatorama.
Last week a shocking story hit the news around the world.
What appeared to be the mummified remains of a fairy were discovered in the Derbyshire countryside. The 8inch remains complete with wings; skin. teeth and flowing red hair were discovered by a local man while walking his dog along an old remote roman road in the Derbyshire countryside, an area which has long been shrouded in mystery with tales of … strange “dancing” lights on warm summer evenings…This is your chance to own the actual fairy that featured in so many stories around the world…current bid £48.00
Okay, so it’s not the first time someone’s been offered the opportunity to buy a fairy at a rave. Still…This is far more significant and positive than a chance to come in contact with the so-called alien of alien autopsy infamy. After all, everyone knows about those nasty alien anal probes, but who ever heard of a fai – oh, never mind.
Go get yourself a copy of the Lady Cottington’s Pressed Fairy book, there’s more where that came from :P
Indeed I have one. Truly a modern classic!
I don’t know. I may be airheaded but this smacks similar of Barbarro deception.
What, you mean he’s not dead? That sneaky Elvis bugger!!! He stole him! And Shergar too!
Of course he’s not dead. The 37th largest state can’t be wrong, can it? (BTW, Kentucky used to be a part of Virginia, which explains SO SO MUCH).
Indeed it does. I await FFE’s input on this issue. Should be interesting.
Punch had a terrific cartoon around that time showing two punk rockers with a tube of glue, one saying to the other:
“I just had a mind-blowin’ fought. For all we know, we might be sniffing Shergar!”
Alas, poor Shergar. I knew him well.
Ew. Is it real? It looks like it was kinda creepy at one time when it was alive…..
Well, it would have been chubbier and probably a lot livelier.
Better three months later on this issue than never, I always say . . . .
“Stiletto Girl said,
April 4, 2007 at 2:45 am
Of course he’s not dead. The 37th largest state can’t be wrong, can it? (BTW, Kentucky used to be a part of Virginia, which explains SO SO MUCH).
raincoaster said,
April 4, 2007 at 6:25 am
Indeed it does. I await FFE’s input on this issue. Should be interesting.”
There’s a reason why we divested ourselves (or allowed ourselves to be forcibly divested of) Ky and Tennessee – KY’s abbreviation bearing an uncomfortable similarity to a personal lubricant notwithstanding.
And to highlight those reasons, I’ll tell a couple of jokes:
Know what safe sex in eastern Kentucky is? Waiting till the deputy and child protective services worker pull out of your holler.
A McDowell County, W. Va. health services worker is conducting a survey of why there are so many out-of-wedlock and teen pregnancies in the county. The worker arrives at one home about three miles up a holler from US 52 and finds the door answered by a seven-foot tall woman with no apparent sign of children about.
The worker asks the seven-foot tall woman if she uses birth controls, to which she replies “Yes ma’am, Ah do”
After asking the woman which method she uses from a lengthy list, the West Va. amazon says, “The bucket and saucer way, dearie.”
Not seeing that particular option among her checklist, the worker asks her what the bucket and saucer method entails.
“Why, my man and me went down to Welch a few years ago and saw a big green pickle bucket outside the McDonalds when we had our wedding dinner. Now, he’s shorter than me, so when we do the deed, Ah stand across the bucket so he can reach me. I watch him and when his eyes get as big as saucers, Ah kick the bucket out from under him.”
Ky and West Virginia, I mean – I’m still pissed off that people think Fred Thompson – a Tennessean, ostensibly – has substance as a human, much less a politician and presidential candidate.
But to be fair to Tennessee . . . .
How can you tell your mother-in-law is from Hawkins County, Tennessee? She doesn’t take the Marlboro out of her mouth when she tells the state trooper to go fuck himself.
And to be perfectly fair to Virginia . . .
How many Richmonders does it take to change a lightbulb? Four – one to tell the overseer to get one of the slaves out of the field to change it, someone to tell the slave to stepinfetchit, a neighbor to congratulate the owner on having such well-mannered slaves, and someone to mix the drinks.
I could live in Richmond. I don’t care what colour the slaves are as long as they mix a good Martini.
Then, obviously, you haven’t drank any of the Virginia Gentleman line of liquors . . . .
Virginia sucks, Raincoaster. It’s oppressive. Although I don’t know if living in NORTHERN Virginia is an accurate reflection of the rest of the state.
Of course, I’m not fond of the rural parts either. Just recently, somewhere down near Bristol, some fucking asswipe at the gas station at 3 am gave me shit for not properly putting together the Krispy Kreme box. Jesus Christ I told him those two doughnuts were gonna be gone before we even hit TN.
They grade you on donut handling? This is a new low. Perhaps I should skip Virginia and coax Michael Lewis into giving me a tour of New Orleans in a carriage with a pair of Hackneys. He’d do it, too.
Yeah. He had no business telling me how to handle my donuts!
Go to New Orleans, have some beignets.
I’m sure you’re more than capable of handling your own donuts, although not short of volunteers to give you a hand with them.
This guy looked like an escapee from the set of The Hills Have Eyes. He’s not going anywhere near my box or my donuts.
Good call. He’s probably still pining after the loss of his tender love from Deliverance days.
Bristol? You were only 60 miles from me.
Having lived in Tidewater, Falls Church, Alexandria, Richmond, and far Southwest, I can say with some authority the following . . .
Tidewater’s probably the best overall place to live, even with Regent University being there.
Northern Va. costs too damn much and has only Dunkin Donuts, but you can still get Chinese food at 1:30 a.m. there.
Richmond still has the malarial and typhoid-enhanced charm it possessed before and after the Civil War. The only time I really enjoyed the place was when I was piss drunk and didn’t know where I was.
For every nice piece of scenery in Southwest Va., there’s two strip jobs and a Walmart. While I’m cool with everyone having their own belief system, SWVA ensured that I would have a deep, abiding disgust for the Southern Baptist Convention, summer missionaries and other things too numerous to mention in this post.
One day, Stiletto and I are going to have to compare notes here.
The thought frightens me. Nations could fall.
“sometimes I think the most merciful thing in the world is the inability of the human mind to correlate its contents. We live on a placid isle of ignorance amidst black seas of chaos, and it is not meant that we should voyage far.”
I prefer to think of it in Bakuninite terms: “The passion to destroy is also a creative one”
” “The passion to destroy is also a creative one””
Is this just as applicable to the way I feel about men after I date them?
Well, you could start on the donut guy on I-81 . . . . . Which exit was it? I’ve probably been at that place before.
I’ll tell you on the way back Tuesday night.
I look forward to the next installment of the Michelin Guide . . . .
Kali is on the loose, boys!
Marxism, Hinduism . . . talk about mixed metaphors, yeeeehhawwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Who ever said Marx was an atheist? He’d have believed in SG!
SG, as in Stiletto Girl? Why, thank you!
She’s definitely no Suicide Girl!
SG as in Stiletto Girl as in it’s easier to spell than stilleto.
Ummm… i don’t have ANY idea what you guys are talking about… then again i merely skimmed your posts… anyway, I say the “fairy” is fake.
But if you’d read our posts in detail, you would KNOW one way or the other. There’s no Coles Notes for this, baby!
Pingback: Fairy found alive in South Africa! « raincoaster
OMG r day realy real omg i’m sooo happy..!!! omg omg omg soo shoked.. shit.. omg i luv em..!!
http://www.hoax-slayer.com/derbyshire-fairy-hoax.shtml
its a hoax sorry people…its fake look it up
How do I know this Hoax-Slayer site is legitimate? Eh? Are they associated with a University? Do I know these people? You don’t even have an AVATAR: how am I supposed to take your word for it?
what the hell y’all been drinkin!!!! Fairies…..mumified!!!!!! of course its a god dammned hoax. Even those of y’all been smokin pot should see through load a baloney! F’ck’s sake!
Whatever we may have been imbibing, our spelling and punctuation are quite clearly superior to yours. Indeed, it is you who appear to be the Dorito-munching slacker here!
You know..that might be real but who knows..It might be computerized. Who here plays Runescape? Way better than this cr4p! If you do, add me I’m Zallrzr here to own your nooby @$s
STFU man this isnt about runescape, but stil i can own you Zall. Im a 107..
Wow..I’m a 130 my acc..is betta then yas betta than yas
Added
kk whats ur username?
Death’s Encore
kk added but i have a bf
lol ur a girl???
No..im a boy..
lol w/e
If you’re confused about whether or not Runescape Rocks! is a girl, why don’t you just look in a mirror; the tracking technology says you’re both using the same computer.
all ppl exept me and zall are nerds..nerds fuck you all bitches i love zall she sounds hooooooooooot!!!
lol?…
its true
Carry on, ladies! My next goal is 900 comments and you look to be good for at least half that!
This one goes out to RAVYNN… Just because some one copied the pic and put it on the damn hoax slayer sight dont mean its a hoax… I mean even my dumb ass could have copy n pasted the fary to some sight… You never know hell the ppl who found it could have put it on there so ppl would leave them alone about see n it for themselves… Like I said on the other comment thing on the other sight… You grew up believe n in farytales all your life so its hard for you to believe in anything else as others of us grew up believing it’s all true and that one day someone would prove it and now that some one has we cant believe it and ppl like you cant either so you have to make up excuses for it not to be real… Well thats all I have to say for now so ttyl everyone… Peace Out!!!!!!
Peace out indeed. And I’ll have what you’re having.
it is real?
How can you doubt? Look at all the evidence we’ve collected:
https://raincoaster.com/category/fairies/
que grande es el photoshop
whaaat
i see no red hair.
i want to see a live one
What the hell, is that real?
WHAT? Do you mean to say you haven’t seen this?
https://raincoaster.com/2007/04/01/mummified-fairy-remains-found/
um yeah. it looks anerexic, lol. my moms from england and im gonna go there in a while so its pretty shockin.
Yeah ,corse its real! how can you NOT believe they real.Well even if that spesific pic ain’t real ,doesn’t mean they don’t exist .you know fairies can camouflage themselves extremely well so you’ll probably neva see one ,but they all around you.think about it.
Pie face out xx
What…what are you saying? Are you saying that picture’s not a real picture? of COURSE it is a real picture; just look at it. You can see it’s not text, you can verify it’s a two-dimensional representation of something. If it were a painting, such skill would have long since made the painter and painting world-famous! What can it be but a picture?
Please don’t make such irresponsible and frivolous claims in the future.