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Indiana Jones and the Call of Cthulhu: complete text

Cthulhu motivational poster

What do you people think? Is he going after Cthulhu this time?

It’s just too bloody perfect, you know. The protagonist in The Call of Cthulhu was an aging archaeologist with a reputation for doing things his own way. With his trusty buddy, Inspector Legrasse, he crosses the globe, attempting to puzzle out the mysterious connection between a precious religious artifact, a cannibalistic cult of Louisiana swamp dwellers, and a vicious tribe of Greenland Esquimaux.

Blowing away forever all pretence to cool I may once have possessed, I have re-edited Howard Phillips Lovecraft’s immortal Gothic tale The Call of Cthulhu, and placed at its heart a certain Midwestern academic who is, himself, no stranger to the strange.

Right-click, Save As:

Indiana Jones and the Call of Cthulhu: complete text by raincoaster

Also: Indy in a hat. Still hawt?

indy

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21 Comments

  1. ScotsToryB
    Posted June 23, 2007 at 8:32 am | Permalink

    Heh, heh. Plant seed. Await fruition!

    STB

  2. Posted June 23, 2007 at 8:37 am | Permalink

    Exactly. But I’ve been thinking about this for a good ten hours, since I saw it on Defamer.

  3. ScotsToryB
    Posted June 23, 2007 at 8:43 am | Permalink

    Ten tentacles? Ten hours?

    Naughty, RC! You’re a very bad girl!

    STB

  4. Posted June 23, 2007 at 8:45 am | Permalink

    Hey, that’s how high I can count. What can I say?

  5. ScotsToryB
    Posted June 23, 2007 at 8:49 am | Permalink

    No mean feet!?

    STB

  6. Posted June 23, 2007 at 8:55 am | Permalink

    Tentacles and pseudopods. No feet.

    Hey, do you think I could get disability?

  7. ScotsToryB
    Posted June 23, 2007 at 9:24 am | Permalink

    Tentacles sure could make that wheelchair fly.

    STB

  8. Posted June 23, 2007 at 2:36 pm | Permalink

    Alas, the Inspector was never given cause to visit ancient Fremantle in Western Australia. He may have stumbled across the strange library I mentioned in fragment of a life which I wrote shortly before my unexplained death on the Swan River.

  9. Posted June 23, 2007 at 2:37 pm | Permalink

    PS – that was a brilliant bit of work – have you been hired as the scriptwriter yet?

  10. Posted June 23, 2007 at 9:21 pm | Permalink

    I didn’t actually write it. I used Search and Replace to sub in Indy, and I tweaked it so he vanished, not died. That’s about it, really.

    Gee, sure would be nice if someone submitted this to Stumbleupon…

  11. Posted June 24, 2007 at 10:39 am | Permalink

    It’d be great if he was going after Cthulhu but Hollywood is nowhere near that hip.

  12. Posted June 24, 2007 at 10:46 am | Permalink

    Hey, I got the idea from Defamer; everyone there except me seems to work in Hollywood…and Lovecraft’s been adapted to film before. Never well, except In the Mouth of Madness, but that had the benefit of having Sam Neill in it, which always helps a film.

  13. Posted June 24, 2007 at 7:42 pm | Permalink

    The squid-faced monster depicted puts me in mind of the kracken/Davy Jones in the 2nd Pirates movie. You wouldn’t want similar monsters for these profitable franchises, but the story-line is a great idea.

  14. Posted June 25, 2007 at 12:21 am | Permalink

    Davy Jones was a total Cthluhu ripoff. They’re well aware that Lovecraft’s literary estate is not going to sue them. Cthluhu is a rather popular monster, in the world of monsters, that is. Not as well known as vampires, but then he was made up completely less than a hundred years ago.

  15. Posted June 25, 2007 at 7:42 pm | Permalink

    Blowing away forever all pretence to cool I may once have possessed
    I’d have to agree. Sorry ;)

  16. Posted June 25, 2007 at 7:43 pm | Permalink

    stumbled it anyway

  17. Posted June 25, 2007 at 8:58 pm | Permalink

    Thank you. What care I for dignity when I can have immortal fame?

  18. Posted June 25, 2007 at 9:05 pm | Permalink

    yes, well, that’s what i expect from you

  19. Posted June 25, 2007 at 9:25 pm | Permalink

    We deliver according to specs.

  20. Philipa
    Posted October 8, 2007 at 1:18 pm | Permalink

    I’ve always thought Indy strangely attractive.

  21. Posted October 8, 2007 at 6:13 pm | Permalink

    That’s not so strange.


2 Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. [...] Check it out below. To really get your Indy on, do the quizzes and finish off by checking out our own dear, sweet re-edit job: Indiana Jones and the Call of Cthulhu. [...]

  2. [...] more Indianization, check out Indiana Jones and the Call of Cthulhu (an updated classic! Cthulhu and Indy, together again for the first time) and our two Which Indiana [...]

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