Operation Global Media Domination: What I did after my summer vacation

Threat Down

No, Steve, the threat is back up, because raincoaster can once again say:

I have the power!!!

Let us just say that today, I pitted the Ministry against BCHydro and discovered, much to my surprise, that there is an agency out there even more Orwellian and arrogant than the Ministry. Actually, the Ministry worker was, herself, quite surprised. But all is well and good and resulted in my having power restored to my apartment within an hour of the discussions.

I have discovered it works much better when you say “I require electricity to power my computer, so that I may complete my jobsearch,” compared to, say, swearing at them, like I did back in February.

I didn’t actually mean to swear at them. I meant, instead, to swear about them, but didn’t realize the phone hadn’t quite hung up yet.

Never trust the phone company, either. They are all in this together.

Because she didn’t enjoy being sworn at, and because she is an inhuman cow with the shrivelled, worm-eaten heart of a female Charles Dexter Ward,Charles Dexter Ward don't look so good the worker back in February paid the hydro bill, but structured it as a loan, with repayments. She deducted 75% of my monthly cheque for each of the next three months, leaving me significantly less than $65 from which to buy food and pay my $65 per month hydro bill, and making the current situation inevitable. As she well knew.

In any case, it’s delightful to be sitting under electric light, checking emails and doing, it must be said, a bit of jobsearching and quite a lot of blogging. It’s about bloody time!

Oh yes. The reason I decided to let the hydro go for a month rather than beg for a crisis grant to pay it immediately was that I know they charge $65 to reconnect the power. I pay $65 per month for power (when I can, that is). So I did the math (I’m not the world’s greatest mathematician, but even I can see the relationship there) and decided that with two coal oil lamps, a hibachi, and an extension cord to the hall in the wee hours, I could limp along till August. Hell, if I could survive till September that way, I’d be ahead. I even looked into windmill power, since I have a huge, windswept patio and don’t mind chopping up a few too-curious ravens and shithawks from time to time.

Hydro calmly informed the worker and me that they would continue to bill me $65 per month, whether I was disconnected or not, and that the non-usage would be taken into account the next time they averaged to find out my monthly power consumption and set the bill. So even if I were to go off-the-grid entirely, I would owe $65 per month to hydro, decreasing in the future in an infinite series that never, note this, actually reaches zero.

I will owe BC Hydro money for the rest of my life. Money, power, they really are the same thing; I just didn’t realize the poetry that went into large bureaucracies.

In its demented way, it is elegant.

No High IQs here

Apparently, the Co-op didn’t receive the cheque for my monthly housing charges, and they have decided (unlike last time, when they simply immediately issued an eviction notice) to send me a note, dated the 7th, and informing me that they are charging me five dollars a day retroactive to the 1st until they get the money. I delegated that as well as the Hydro issue to my staff at the Ministry office, who promptly phoned the Co-op and demanded that they come down to the Ministry and fill out several forms, and also that they shove their five dollars a day up their asses.

OrwellWell, not in so many words, but you get the drift.

Life lesson: Not swearing beats out swearing when you want someone to help you. Who knew?

In unrelated news: I discover that, apparently, Tina Arena herself has linked to my post of her video Now I Can Dance, and this, combined with the abuse Metro has been heaping upon me, has pushed the blog to within 500 of Technorati‘s top 100,000 blogs. Out of 45 million, that’s not so bad for a blog that only started on the last day of February this year.

If I could only get a flamewar going, I’d be in great shape. Meantime, I have stolen from the Generator Blog the PageBoost utility, which has come up with the following:

Review of raincoaster; 49 degrees latitude, 360 degrees attitude!

“I just saw https://raincoaster.wordpress.com. If only the W3C would have a superb page like that. The URL has 32 characters. That’s just the right size. There are 84,571 characters in the HTML source, which is a high-quality length for Opera users. The page contains 397 links, a balanced amount.
The color scheme is impressive. Delicate and exclusive. Seeing raincoaster; 49 degrees latitude, 360 degrees attitude! , I’m simply out of words. What a cool page! I find it appropriate http://www.wordpress.com put up a link to this page. It must have taken a decade to design the page. Thumbs up. Of course, I expected the creator to achieve only the best. The code is very professional.
This page makes it all seem so easy.”
— Susan Walker, Net Events

2 thoughts on “Operation Global Media Domination: What I did after my summer vacation

  1. yeah but my wimpy little blog can get the same words of ‘Wow!’

    Congrats on the power (to blog and to get results w/o swearing!)

  2. Thankies.

    Have you posted YOUR blogsturbation quote yet? I’m hoping some eedjut falls for it and stays, thinking I’m the sweetheart of Wired magazine.

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