OMG WTF!?!?!?!?! Anonymous is after ME now! Shitgoddamholyfuckyikes! I knew that this gossip blogging gig would be trouble!
Maybe Scientology will protect me?
Stolen from Valleywag
Hello. Internet Gossip Bloggers. We are The Z-List Celebrities.
Over the years we have been watching you. Watching us. Your blog posts, showing our drunkenness, our nip slips, our public breakdowns, have caught our eye. With the rise of your blog traffic and general influence in the entertainment industry, we, The Z-List Celebrities, have decided that you must be destroyed.
For the good of your readers, for the good of society and, most of all, for the good of our failing shit-tastic careers we will systematically expel your blogs from the internet and dismantle your growing sphere of influence.
No longer will we be your birthday sluts.
No longer will TMZ’s cameras ambush us outside restaurants.
No longer will you draw cocks on our faces.
We recognize you as serious opponents and do not expect our mission to succeed in a short time frame. Regardless we will no longer tolerate you mocking members of our organization. Like Tara Reid for example, leave her alone. She’s really talented. Sure her tits are weird but she just needs the right part to showcase her abilities, You’ll see.
You have nowhere to hide. Because we are everywhere. You will have no recourse of attack because for every reality star that falls, ten more will take their place.
We are The Z-List Celebrities.
We are Legion.
We do not forgive.
WE DO NOT FORGET.
Looks like you’ve made the big time.
That’s true. At least I’m notorious!
Slaps forehead – I thought only I got rubbish like that! LOL
Damn. Sorry to hear that Rain. I am going to miss you.
wethey succeed Ione of usthem will take over your blog space and influence and post LOLscientology cartoons and Ithey will be kind to the Z-Listers. Especially Britney, Lohan and Paris.
I think Britney Spears wrote that….
all three of usour friend Archie who writed tipeddid this.
Yeah yeah, they say that every year.
I dunno about Z-list though, Wacko Jacko kinda makes Britney look reassuringly normal.
Hmmm – I must be careful who I give my blog password to in future – – –
It looks as though anonymous may have claimed their victim – or she found an extra large supply of gin! Three days without a word? This is unheard of!
Looks like Anonymous has his/her own cult, matched in power only by the Toy Soldier followers of Dr. Steel.
Look on the Fairy thread, she might be launching a rescue mission to retrieve Henry the 6 legged -puss.
Or maybe the Anons got her, in which case we should launch a rescue mission against the belligerent blight of the Chavtastic media world.
Alas, just as I start a new blogging gig the compy goes down for the count. I have a jury-rigged substitute up and running now, though.
Oh come off it! Quit trying to sound as though you’ve hacked a case out of recycled Swedish pine furniture and hand-woven a CPU from de-insulated untwisted extension cords. Who are you, Martha Stewart?
Next you’ll be telling us you personally assembled the keyboard from recycled squirrel teeth and pine needles.
Admit it, it’s the gin. Or possibly the shoe-polish-strained-through-a-piece-of-bread.
Not at all. I have trapped one of the raccoons and am using the electronic pulses of its nerve endings to send this message out; wired directly to the power grid, it makes a startlingly satisfactory communications device, if not exactly mobile anymore. The tough part was teaching it sign language.
“We are The Z-List Celebrities.
We are Legion.”
This part proves beyond a doubt that it’s absolutely true; Z-List Celebrities are Legion!
I’ll miss your blog. I wish I’d found it sooner…*sniff*
Miss it? What are you doing, defecting to Turkey?
It couldn’t have been that difficult. Everycritter in your neighbourhood can recognize a certain basic set of signs.
Um … no. Not at all. That’s rather the point, you see …
Got stuck in early again, didn’t you?
I find myself wondering this morning: All specialised fields such as mathematics and engineering have their own particular sign language symbols and rules.
So are there rules for the sign-language interpretation of texting? And if so, how does one interpret emoticons?
Look, the raccoon has been trained to translate hand signals into text. What did you expect it to do?
Ah, hence no emoticons. I had thought it would be the other way around.
Oh, it could if I wanted to enable the Hieroglyphics plugin. It’s just that as Mark Day said, if I wanted to communicate via a crude system of pictographs, I’d go back to ancient Egypt where I belonged.