Mai archaic telecommunication device. let me show you it

Well, my friends, once again the day’s work has been cleared away, the snarky comments have been left on various blogs that had it coming, the forum troll has been ratted out, and it’s finally time for me to do my own blogging.

At three in the morning.

Given that I have a meeting in about six hours for which I need to be at least presentable-esque if not actually, you know, showered and properly dressed (I mean, it’s like one or the other; what do you people want from me?) it’s not going to be an epic evening of blogging chez raincoaster, I can tell you.

What I can also tell you is that tonight Nine Inch Nails released a single for free download. It’s called Discipline, it’s very catchy, it’s not their most profound work, I found it via the RadReport, it will not play on anything other than Windows Media Player (remix it? Dude, I can’t even open it on decent software! What next, Realplayer?) and I started a new link challenge based on it.

Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot is a link challenge? you ask if not in so many or those specific words.

A link challenge is this:

Look, have you ever had a boring job? I have one now. I mean, it would be sort of fun, if yes, kind of soul-killing, if my computer would stop crashing in the middle of it. But as it is, the suspense given to the whole operation does the exact opposite of what suspense does in movies: it takes all the fun out. “If I open a tab on Mollygood, is that gonna bring the whole thing down?” These are the thoughts which fill my hours. Makes me feel like hitting a tab of something else, and opening a can of something else besides.

Where was I? Oh yes, still on painkillers.

A link challenge is this: I, along with several others in the seamy underbelly of gossip blogs, get paid to make link posts, posts which consist of nothing other than links to other blogs. It’s the circle jerk manifested, and one of the reasons Google gave us all a big write-down if we got too many links from the same places. I guess Sergey and Other Guy don’t want us to inbreed or something.

But link blogging, for all that it requires much reading (or skimming) of gossip blogs, is not exactly a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporania. It’s a grind. And so the undisciplined mind, not that we’ve seen any around these parts, begins to look for ways to toy with it.

This approach is not recommended for hardware installations, even though I found that both a coffee bag clip and a Nike cross-trainer were indispensable in putting together my latest computer system. But of that we shall not speak…

So, we found some ways to toy with it. Seth started it, with his Three Word Links. I took up the challenge.

I took it down to two. EG:

Bar raised (Defamer)

Hammer dropped (AgentBedhead)

Lohan smashed (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Rick, rolled (Guardian)

Rowling potty? (Celebitchy)

Hunk drunk (ASocialitesLife)

Seth returned the volley, garnering some complaints in the process. I don’t have to worry about such things; nobody reads my links!

Aaaaaand the following Monday I came back with a One-Word link post. Somewhat obscure, bloodless, yes, but technically impressive in its own way, rather like a Russian ice dancing routine. Technorati doesn’t give a rat’s ass what the links say anyway.

Supprtd! (Defamer)

Suckaz! (Valleywag)

Accurst! (Gawker)

Dichotomous! (AgentBedhead)

Saviour! (Celebitchy)

Accident! (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Soap-On-A-Rope! (CelebritySmack)

Faceplant! (DListed)

Pooh! (Cityrag)

Duddy! (TheBlemish)

JagermICEter! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

And so on…Thank GOD for alt text, that’s all I have to say about that.

Where do we go from there? Particularly as I have a highly unspectacular collection of webdings and clipart?


Yes, every link is the title of a Nine Inch Nails song. Who says I can’t declare it an international holiday if I damn well feel like it? It is now nearly 3:30 in the morning and there have to be some compensations, dammit!

Katie Holmes vs Victoria Beckham: pretty hate machines (Defamer)

With teeth: Hillary Duff’s veneers (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Why does James Frey get all the love in the literary world? (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend is something Ashley Olsen can never have (CelebritySmack)

That’s what Richie Sambora gets (for driving drunk) (CelebrityDirt)

You know what you are, Paris Hilton? (CelebWarship)

Help me, I am in fashion hell (CandyKirby)

Happiness in slavery available to Ashton Kutcher at my house any time! (DailyStab)

Sanctified: yes, Beyonce and Jay-Z are married (ImNotObsessed)

Natalie Portman down in it, not quite down with it (WebstersIsMyBitch)

So far, one comment, positive.

We shall see if Seth takes up the challenge: I have no idea how he feels about rage-emo. As for AgentBedhead, I think I know a fellow sucker for Trent when I see one. I sent the invite. Time will tell. Even if no-one takes me up on it, it’s okay.

I’ve still got my poetry.

I've still got my poetry

add to : Add to Blinkslist : add to furl : Digg it : add to ma.gnolia : Stumble It! : add to simpy : seed the vine : : : TailRank : post to facebook

9 thoughts on “NIN NIGHT

  1. Windows Media Player? Seriously? I don’t even have that on my computer. Maybe I can just get someone to hum it for me.

    I like the ever-so-clever link themes. You are an inspiration finding creative ways to combat the drudgery.

  2. Pingback: - dirty fingernails firmly on the pulse

  3. Or a Photoshop challenge!

    Thanks, alejna. It looks like just an MP3, but my MVP player will not touch it with a bargepole. You can at least click the audio player to hear it, although Odeo seems to deliver it only in five or six bar packets.

  4. LMAO – you are the queen of link titles rain. Also, I note that someone “dluvvly” blogs using a kick-ass ALF avatar – Sweet!!! :)

    The NIN song is pretty good, I’ve got to hand it to you.

    “chez Raincoaster…” – priceless! My ADD mind wonders back to “the Ruttles” and the reference to the NY Mets Shea Stadium having been named in honor of the revolutionary Chez.

    “by rat seller, I mean a sellar full of rats, not as in one who buys and sells rats.” :)

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