dances with fish

Eat your heart out, Kevin Costner! Stolen from Defamer, here are two dancing with fish videos, American style. I believe you’ve all seen it done English style, yes? There is also (in escalating order of insanity) the Filipino fish dance, the Nigerian fish dance, Greek fish dance, Brazilian fish dance, the Nine Inch Nails Nation fish dance, and the traditional Naked Canadian fish dance.

First, robotically-enhanced animated anime figure Olivia Munn from Attack of the Show, trying and failing to perform a sexy duet with (in order) a trout (doesn’t look that old to me), a salmon (no word on if it was pink), and, in her pièce de résistance (and longtime readers will have seen this – so to speak – coming), a Squid.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Next up, a long-forgotten starlet shimmys with another cold fish in this clip from the transcendant Vixen by that Leonardo of schlock, Russ Meyers.

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Violence. The word and the act. While violence cloaks itself in a plethora of disguises, its favourite mantle still remains – sex. Violence devours all it touches, its voracious appetite rarely fulfilled.

Monkees Psychedelia: Star Collector

This is what Nine Inch Nails‘s Starfuckers, Incorporated looked like in 1967, performed by The Monkees.

It looked pretty good, actually.

I have to say, the combination of YouTube pixillation and psychedelic staging is a marriage made in Heaven, or at least in Malibu. I actually have this album (Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn and Jones Ltd) on vinyl; picked it up at a garage sale, I believe, along with a couple of others when I was at boarding school, which means around the end of the Seventies.

And for those of you who may have, in some misguided and doubtless drunken stupor, expressed skepticism regarding the talent of the great Mike Nesmith, listen to this song: Mary, Mary, which Paul Butterfield called a great white soul song. He was right.

and yes, I know the video is out of synch with the audio.
Doesn’t mean your ears don’t work, right?

Martian Sunset

A beautiful Martian sunset is pic o’ the day here at the ol’ raincoaster blog.

Martian Sunset

Click here for the whole gallery of Mars Phoenix images from NASA

And here is an entertaining video of the whole liftoff-to-landing process. Alas, unlike the last one (possibly the world’s coolest Mars probe simulation) there is no NIN soundtrack. Just sing Closer really, really loudly as you watch.

Developed in the summer of 2004, this animation visulaizes launch in August 2007 and entry, descent, and landing of the Phoenix Mars Mission in May 2008. Currently the animation is in the rough-cut phase and is being modified as the spacecraft develops. The animation was created by Maas Digital under the direction of the Jet Propulsion Laboratory’s Solar System Visualization Project.

the slip: trent reznor puts out for his fans

sir prize buttsecks from NIN!


Trent Reznor knows what I like in a man, and he is ready and willing to give it to me: free stuff! Yes, the (apparently fearless) head of Nine Inch Nails has decided to stop pussyfooting around and put out for me; that is, to put out one whole album, free.

Like, “This ain’t no Radiohead sort of “free” either.” Free.

And he’s making it available for YOU YES YOU to download now. Okay, yeah, so maybe he spreads it around a little; he’s a rock god, what do you expect? Just remember to surf safe, boiz and grrrlz.

Download it now!

Go on, push his button. You know you want to.

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Mai archaic telecommunication device. let me show you it

Well, my friends, once again the day’s work has been cleared away, the snarky comments have been left on various blogs that had it coming, the forum troll has been ratted out, and it’s finally time for me to do my own blogging.

At three in the morning.

Given that I have a meeting in about six hours for which I need to be at least presentable-esque if not actually, you know, showered and properly dressed (I mean, it’s like one or the other; what do you people want from me?) it’s not going to be an epic evening of blogging chez raincoaster, I can tell you.

What I can also tell you is that tonight Nine Inch Nails released a single for free download. It’s called Discipline, it’s very catchy, it’s not their most profound work, I found it via the RadReport, it will not play on anything other than Windows Media Player (remix it? Dude, I can’t even open it on decent software! What next, Realplayer?) and I started a new link challenge based on it.

Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot is a link challenge? you ask if not in so many or those specific words.

A link challenge is this:

Look, have you ever had a boring job? I have one now. I mean, it would be sort of fun, if yes, kind of soul-killing, if my computer would stop crashing in the middle of it. But as it is, the suspense given to the whole operation does the exact opposite of what suspense does in movies: it takes all the fun out. “If I open a tab on Mollygood, is that gonna bring the whole thing down?” These are the thoughts which fill my hours. Makes me feel like hitting a tab of something else, and opening a can of something else besides.

Where was I? Oh yes, still on painkillers.

A link challenge is this: I, along with several others in the seamy underbelly of gossip blogs, get paid to make link posts, posts which consist of nothing other than links to other blogs. It’s the circle jerk manifested, and one of the reasons Google gave us all a big write-down if we got too many links from the same places. I guess Sergey and Other Guy don’t want us to inbreed or something.

But link blogging, for all that it requires much reading (or skimming) of gossip blogs, is not exactly a glorious cycle of song, a medley of extemporania. It’s a grind. And so the undisciplined mind, not that we’ve seen any around these parts, begins to look for ways to toy with it.

This approach is not recommended for hardware installations, even though I found that both a coffee bag clip and a Nike cross-trainer were indispensable in putting together my latest computer system. But of that we shall not speak…

So, we found some ways to toy with it. Seth started it, with his Three Word Links. I took up the challenge.

I took it down to two. EG:

Bar raised (Defamer)

Hammer dropped (AgentBedhead)

Lohan smashed (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Rick, rolled (Guardian)

Rowling potty? (Celebitchy)

Hunk drunk (ASocialitesLife)

Seth returned the volley, garnering some complaints in the process. I don’t have to worry about such things; nobody reads my links!

Aaaaaand the following Monday I came back with a One-Word link post. Somewhat obscure, bloodless, yes, but technically impressive in its own way, rather like a Russian ice dancing routine. Technorati doesn’t give a rat’s ass what the links say anyway.

Supprtd! (Defamer)

Suckaz! (Valleywag)

Accurst! (Gawker)

Dichotomous! (AgentBedhead)

Saviour! (Celebitchy)

Accident! (CrazyDaysAndNights)

Soap-On-A-Rope! (CelebritySmack)

Faceplant! (DListed)

Pooh! (Cityrag)

Duddy! (TheBlemish)

JagermICEter! (SeriouslyOMGWTF)

And so on…Thank GOD for alt text, that’s all I have to say about that.

Where do we go from there? Particularly as I have a highly unspectacular collection of webdings and clipart?


Yes, every link is the title of a Nine Inch Nails song. Who says I can’t declare it an international holiday if I damn well feel like it? It is now nearly 3:30 in the morning and there have to be some compensations, dammit!

Katie Holmes vs Victoria Beckham: pretty hate machines (Defamer)

With teeth: Hillary Duff’s veneers (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

Why does James Frey get all the love in the literary world? (AgentBedhead)

Lindsay Lohan’s girlfriend is something Ashley Olsen can never have (CelebritySmack)

That’s what Richie Sambora gets (for driving drunk) (CelebrityDirt)

You know what you are, Paris Hilton? (CelebWarship)

Help me, I am in fashion hell (CandyKirby)

Happiness in slavery available to Ashton Kutcher at my house any time! (DailyStab)

Sanctified: yes, Beyonce and Jay-Z are married (ImNotObsessed)

Natalie Portman down in it, not quite down with it (WebstersIsMyBitch)

So far, one comment, positive.

We shall see if Seth takes up the challenge: I have no idea how he feels about rage-emo. As for AgentBedhead, I think I know a fellow sucker for Trent when I see one. I sent the invite. Time will tell. Even if no-one takes me up on it, it’s okay.

I’ve still got my poetry.

I've still got my poetry

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