All hail the newly-born socialist republic of Canucksistan! My predictive abilities have been pretty good recently, so I say the nation should last something like, oh, seven games plus overtime.
What do you mean you don’t worship the Canucks? Don’t you know they can fly, bitches? THEY CAN FLY!
Also, you really, really don’t want to piss off their supporters. No, you really don’t.
Then again, maybe you do.
In any case, there are in Canuckistan currently no bigger celebrities than the Canucks (except maybe Ann Murray, of course) but as a token of appreciation for our foreign readers we hereby present the celebrity gossip roundup, one day late because apparently I’m so hot I can’t write uninterrupted in a public place anymore. At least yesterday the men bought be drinks: the one today just tried to break a window. On the other hand, that could be the difference between the DTES and Yaletown…
Alec Baldwin busts his cherry! Twitter virginity: it’s happened to all of us! (raincoaster)
How many Britney fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No, seriously, how many? Take off your socks if you have to… (Ayyyy)
Sunday Food Porn! Sushi Sunday! Not bad, for a legally blind photographer. (Manolofood)
Conan O’Brien’s Coyote Morning. OMG she’s so totally under age! (Lolebrity)
Chicken Soup for the Young Witch. Which really should include the advice to read better books, you’d think. (AgentBedhead)
Chris Isaak brings the fur! I…I’m nearly speechless. Wetsuit. Fur. Um… (BusyBeeBlogger)
Snooki vs Cops! Why does the stubby sexpot always end up on the losing end of these exchanges with the law? CONSPIRACY! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Divorcing Celebrities celebrate Memorial Day! Shop till you drop/straddle a penis replacement. Guess which is the Kennedy. (CelebritySmack)
The Girl with the Most Awesome Movie Trailer. Or dragon tattoo. But everybody I know has one of those. Just me then? Just me? (CelebVIPLounge)
Sean Kingston and his plus one admitted to Emergency, bypassing the velvet rope. In related news, people have serious accidents on JetSki’s? (DailyStab)
Good news/Bad news: In Good News news, next generation Kardashians are unable to replicate. In Bad News news, they may still be sleeping with your children. (EarSucker)
Selma Blair much less intolerable pregnant. In related news, Selma Blair pregnant (who knew? who cared?) (FitFabCeleb)
Top THAT! 15 Stars wearing top hats: if Only I were one. My top hat fetish is a remnant of my 80′s upbringing. (GirlsTalkinSmack)
Miley Cyrus makes it easy for the TSA. And also gossip bloggers looking for cheap shots. (HaveUHeard)
“Hobbit” teasers. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (HollywoodHiccups)
Adorable mentally impaired person proposes to Lady Gaga on Twitter. No response yet. (INeedMyFix)
Born this way: deeply in debt. Oh, who can’t relate to this? (MathewGuiver)
Britney hates Brazil? Don’t cry for her! (PoorBritney)
And this is WHY the Bielebers hate Selina Gomez. Because you don’t get a figure like that lying around your Scarborough bedroom listening to YouTubes! (TheSkinny)
More Pink! More Plump! More Plus! Oh come on, who doesn’t love this woman? More of her is ALWAYS better! (TheSkinnyChic)
- Ladner farm names five spring foals after Canucks (theprovince.com)
- Stanley Cup finalists welcome Winnipeg to NHL (seattletimes.nwsource.com)
- Stanley Cup Finals: Canucks Can Be 1st Canadian Team to Win Cup Since 1993 (bleacherreport.com)