advice columns of the lesser gods

Ramalamadingdong shoesOne does not lightly call the great shoeblogger the Manolo a “lesser” anything, but in a world which considers the phreaky fashion troll John Galliano to be a major god, well we must have a point of differentiation, so there it is.

In the world of advice columns, there is a wide range of approaches and, frankly, quality of advice. I am the humble and ashamed owner of “Can My Bridesmaids Wear Black,” an etiquette book which, at $1.95 for the hardcover on the “Please get these out of our store” table, was overpriced by approximately $2. And all the new (ie late-, as opposed to mid- or early-20th Century) Emily Post books are good primarily as fodder for humorous comparisons with books which don’t suck quite so hard.

In the world of advice columnists, the gods, of greatery or lesseryness as the case may be, there are Miss Manners, Ask a Ninja, Ask a Squid, and The Manolo. Of the first three we shall not speak…yet. Of the Manolo, we shall give only the following, perfect morsel. It is the superfantastic. It will be enough.

Dear Manolo,I’ve bitten the bullet and left academia and gone back to my true love—baking. I am opening a small bakery and I need to some comfortable, yet stylish shoes that have non-slip soles, can bear being covered in butter and sugar, but would still look good when I help in the front.
Kay

The Manolo says,
of the course, there are those who believe that one would be foolish to give up the golden perks of academia, such as the pleasures of frequently reading the papers in which the word “hermeneutics” appears twice in the first sentence, once juxtaposed next to the phrase “Gilligan’s Island”.

What? No more faculty meetings in which the professor of Marxist marketing comes to blows with the elderly Emily Bronte scholar over the matter of parking spaces?

Magritte Bowler shooz

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

the greatest interpretation of Total Eclipse of the Heart in the history of music

Or the future, either, come to think of it. In a world which contains Bonnie Tyler‘s pared-to-the-bone proto-emo wail as well as the postmodern Total Eclipse of Good Taste by the Norwegian novelty band Hurra Torpedo, performed on electric guitar and kitchen appliances, (and now, from Defamer, comes word that even that staggery goddess of the trailer park Tara Reid has taken a shot at this tatty survivor…perhaps the last ditty that will have her) there is simply no rendition, extraordinary or otherwise, that can compare to the immortal Kiki and Herb performing an all-too-heartfelt version of Total Eclipse of the Heart.

Poor Coco!

(as for the Squid tag…what do you think happened to her, eh?
Kids don’t dissolve in seawater, my friends)

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

abstract and ambient: Cocteau Twins Oomingmak

Weird, spacy floral kaleidoscopes set to weird, spacy vocal kaleidoscopes. What could be more perfect, if you can’t actually afford acid?

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

operation global media domination: give the people what they want

According to this, you want waaaay more raincoaster, and waaaay less Carmen Electra naked.

Yesterday

Search Views
blackzilla 65
raincoaster 24
daniel radcliffe equus 14
sea monster 11
carmen electra naked 7

Your wish is my command. Really, it’s not fair to Tara Leigh Patrick, the poor girl. See for yourself.

raincoaster:

raincoaster, bay-bee!

Carmen “Tara Patrick” Electra:

Shiny!

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

A Valentine to my readers

Nothing says I loves y’all like a bouquet and a classic ballad, so here. Don’t say I never did nuthin’ for ya.

Joachim Laporte nature muertes

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank