Fondle Me Elmo celebrity sex tape

Well, if this doesn’t get my blog re-labeled Porn, nothing will.

Here is the loathesome apotheosis of all that is hateful about that little shit Elmo; hardcore furry-on-furry-on-furry action. We at the raincoaster blog have always kept a squinty eye on the horrible, giggling homonculus, and not without good reason. Reasons. As Defamer says,

FINALLY A CELEBRITY SEX TAPE WORTH OUR TIME

[Warning: The above video may be NSFW; please check your employer’s policy on viewing sexually explicit material starring plush children’s toys before viewing.]

This is from Poopycaca.com (when you need another fake news source, PoopyCaca is there). Me like.

The tape, made prior to Tickle Me Elmo’s success and fame on Sesame Street, was recently discovered by TMZ.COM working in conjunction with investigative reporters from PoopyCaca.com. “Tickle Me Harder” shows Elmo, who is credited under with the name “El Macho,” in compromising positions with two other actors, “Jack Mo’” and “Steve.”

Publicly, Elmo made a brief statement to reporters saying only, “Elmo no like.”

Well if you watch this video, you’ll have to disagree. It appears that Elmo likes it. He likes it hard!

when giant octopus attack Goonies!

Stole this from Cracked‘s piece on Most Absurd Deleted Scenes of All Time. Definitely worth it for the Steve Carrell, not to mention Jay (of “and Silent Bob“) scarifying a couple of hookers into giving up the profession. via Defamer.

Movie: The Goonies
Director: Richard Donner
Why this scene was deleted: Because having a giant killer octopus appear in the final act of a movie that, up to that point, had at least pretended to exist in the real world, makes absolutely no fucking sense. If Donner had ended his next film, Lethal Weapon, by having Pterodactyl fly out of the sky and attack Riggs and Murtaugh, it wouldn’t have been any less nonsensical. [raincoaster knows, as the editors of Cracked apparently do not, that Octopi of this size do, in fact, exist]

Also, by cutting the infamous octopus scene and leaving in Data’s line later in the movie that confusingly refers to it (“The octopus was very scary!”), Donner was able to push his apparent belief that Asians are prone to exaggeration and not to be trusted, an agenda he was able to further explore in Lethal Weapon 4, quite possibly the most racist movie ever made.

Why this scene was ever shot: Probably because some old college buddy of Donner’s was on the payroll as “Unit Manager, Octopus Effects,” and kept nagging the director and bringing up “all those times I bailed your ass out in the Quad” until Donner finally sighed and said, “Alright, fuck it. Let’s shoot the ‘pus.”

graffiti of the day: Kate Moss, Cocaine Mademoiselle

Cocaine Mademoiselle. Pretty, Lively.

from a Parisian bus shelter, via Gawker.

photo o’ the day: shadowcamels

from National Geographic, via Raj. Look closely, or you’ll miss the actual camels.

Shadowcamels

quote o’ the day: censorship and oppression

from Jesus’ General:

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there’s a twilight where everything remains seemingly unchanged, and it is in such twilight that we must be aware of change in the air, however slight, lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

Justice William O. Douglas Jr.

who also gave us the first runner-up:

Since when have we Americans been expected to bow submissively to authority and speak with awe and reverence to those who represent us?