Category Archives: Celebrity

Laughing Yoga

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Check out Laughing Yoda here, currently standing at over 110,000 hits on YouTube. Dressed like Elizabeth Taylor at Studio 54, sounding like a cross between a bald eagle being burnt alive and that smiley guy in The Shining, the wee wonder reminds me of nothing so much as a diminutive Jedi on crack.

And ether. 

I know we’ve been video-heavy today, and I saw this days ago but didn’t click on it, but this is just unmissable. Really, you cannot look yourself in the face (in the mirror) as a time-waster and thoughtless pursuer of mindless amusement if you haven’t watched this video.

Once again, Perez was the source for this insanity. Blame Perez.

Ann Coulter: Bitch gets bitchslapped!

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From Crooks & Liars, and not to be improved upon. I shall let the words speak for themselves. Adam Carolla for President!

Ann Coulter vs Larry King

Audio -MP3 

The Great Society provides a rough transcript:

ADAM CAROLLA: Ann Coulter, who was suppose to be on the show about an hour and a half ago, is now on the phone, as well. Ann?

ANN COULTER: Hello.

CAROLLA: Hi Ann. You’re late, babydoll.

COULTER: Uh, somebody gave me the wrong number.

CAROLLA: Mmm… how did you get the right number? Just dialed randomly — eventually got to our show? (Laughter in background)

COULTER: Um, no. My publicist e-mailed it to me, I guess, after checking with you.

CAROLLA: Ahh, I see.

COULTER: But I am really tight on time right now because I already had a —

CAROLLA: Alright, well, get lost.

[Crosstalk in the studio]

CAROLLA: I’m tight on time, too, and I don’t have time for bitches, so let’s move on.

[…]

[inaudible] Tight on time… Go f- yourself, you’re tight on time.

Female co-host (Teresa Strasser or Sarah Silverman?): I say this to Ann Coulter. Why the long face? (Laughter)

CAROLLA: Listen, you bitch, don’t call in an hour and a half late and tell me you’re “tight on time.” Of course you’re tight on time, you’re an hour and a half God-damn late calling into a radio show. Just take your stupid book and go pitch it to your stupid cable outlets.

Adam, will you marry me?

the Lord of the Rinks

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Fellowship of the RingHave you ever wondered what would have happened if Stuart Townsend had not been fired from The Lord of the Rings shoot and replaced with Viggo Mortensen? Wondered, perhaps, how the film would have been different with Cher, perhaps, instead of Cate Blanchett as Galadriel? Or perhaps your thoughts turn to more slackerish, dark corners. What if, ferinstance, Kevin Smith directed Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, Jerry Seinfeld, and Jason Lee as the Fellowship of the Ring.

Here is your answer.

The Council of Elrond demands

The Lord of the Rings: Tolkien Re-Told
The Council of Elrond

As directed by Kevin Smith

Editor’s Note: We do not have full editorial control over what Hollywood’s brightest minds do and do not write. Therefore, the following scripts contain language which is inappropriate for some readers. User discretion is advised.

Jerry Seinfeld as ELROND
Jason Mewes as JAY…er, GANDALF
Kevin Smith as SILENT GIMLI
Ben Affleck as ARAGORN
Matt Damon as BOROMIR
Jason Lee as FRODO
Joey Lauren Adams as LEGOLAS
Shannon Doherty as GLORFINDEL

ELROND
So what’s the deal with the One Ring? I mean, you have all this power, and you put it in one ring? That makes no sense! It’s like buildings. I mean, why do they call it a building, anyway? If it’s finished, isn’t it already built? And why–

ARAGORN
(smoking)
There IS more than one ring. “Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone, Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die-”

BOROMIR
(smoking)
Why do you always get all the good fucking lines? You’ve been pulling this shit ever since that cheesy monologue at the end of Good Will Hunting.

ARAGORN
(smoking)
Look, it’s not my fault your most memorable piece of dialogue is “How you like them apples.” I wanted to make that an action movie.

BOROMIR
(smoking)
Yeah, we’ve seen how well you did with that, Pearl Harbor-boy.

ARAGORN
(smoking)
Hey, time’s going to tell on that one, OK…

JAY…er, GANDALF
Yo, so let’s figure out how we’re gonna get rid of this fucking ring, yo.

GLORFINDEL
(smoking)
Shouldn’t we ask Saruman about this? And by the way, whatever happened to me?

JAY…er, GANDALF

No can do, lovely hoochie. Check this shit: I tried to talk to that motherfucker Saruman the White, but his robe was all multi-colored and shit. Then he tried to lock me in his tower, but I busted out the mad, phat magic on his ass. Serves him right for trying to mess with my homies. Snoogans.

Word.

The Fellowship of the Lego

Crazy Sunday

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Forget the Narnia Raps. Reverend Alecia here is the one true Internet insanity. Judging by the effects, the fact that rotating computer chairs were available, and that the Tootie hairstyle was still au courant, I’m pegging this at about 1983, and off the crazy scale.

Give Thanks! that you’re not as whack as Reverend Alecia

From Perez Hilton, who knows a crazy, chairdancin’ bitch when he sees one.

now I can dance…with charo!

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Yes. With bonus Charo appearance. Which is actually how I found this on YouTube, through a Charo Search, but never mind. Tina Arena has, besides a kickass name, a kickass voice and a kickass song, and she deserves some attention. Pay it to the URL listed, http://www.TinaArenaonline.net. UPDATE: no, don’t. Looks like she let the URL lapse, never a good sign.

UPDATE: out of the ashes, the video is reborn. No idea why they took it down in the first place.