Evil puppehs are evil

Long have we shouted into the insatiable, oblivious void, warning of the dangers of those tiny, trembling, fanged and clawed homunculi known as Chihuahuas. And have you listened? Hellz no you have not; you persist in toting these hideous, incontinent fetal aliens in handbags and amusingly-McMansion-shaped wheelie bins everywhere you go.

[aside: while I was writing this, Zemanta came up with some Related Articles and they included something I could have sworn said “cooking and features of a Blue Chihuahua” but alas it was “coloring” instead. Imagine my disappointment. Also, capitalizing adjectives and nouns? Isn’t that German? Are these loathesome creatures the spawn of some unthinkable Nazi experiment? It would explain a lot, that’s all I’m saying. Also, apparently cooking Chihuahuas is A Thing:

CORRECTION: The first ingredient in the 4/30 Quesadillas recipe should have read “1 cup shredded Mexican Cheddar, Monterey Jack, Pepper Jack, or brick cheese.” Somehow, an auto spell-check changed cheddar to Chihuahua. We apologize for the error and hope that no Chihuahuas were harmed due to the error.

] yes I had to end the […] because I’m meticulous like that.

But now we have reports, many reports, coming in. You will not listen to reason, but might you listen to evidence? Just maybe?

From the comments on Gawker:

Good Girl Gone Bad @raincoaster
Actually scientists did some DNA analysis that showed chihuahuas are descended from an entirely different type of canine than all of the other breeds of dogs. They can interbreed with other breeds of dogs only because most species of canine can interbreed (like wolves and dogs(

So actually you are right

P.S. I have a supercrush on you.

Obviously a person of vast intelligence and exquisite taste. This was in the comments added to an article about how a thief stole it out of a car along with a laptop but returned the Naked Mole Rat “Dog” in the back seat, because even criminals deserve better company.

Chihuahuas have been named one of the 100 most dangerous dogs in Australia (way to go, team!):

CHIHUAHUAS and pomeranians are on the list of Queenland”s 100 most menacing dogs.

They might stand less than 30cm tall, but the small pets have now officially been declared menacing creatures by authorities, under controversial new state laws aimed at slowing the state’s rising number of dog attacks.

More than a year after the laws were introduced, only 110 dogs have been declared menacing in Queensland, but authorities predict that will soar as awareness of the new laws spreads.

And awareness of the right to self-defense.

At least the damn things can’t breed.

Or fly. Like Poodles can.

Shelter workers at an SPCA on B.C.’s Sunshine Coast have taken an injured poodle under their wing after the canine was dropped onto the grounds of a care home by a large bird of prey.

The six-year-old poodle, dubbed “Miracle May” by workers, fell from the sky onto the Shorncliff Nursing Home in Sechelt on May 2.

Where is your dog now?