Assange Analyzed!


Yes, yes, I know. We’re two for two here on the ol’ raincoaster blog with the Julian Assange posts, but I’m on a roll and it’s my blog, so you have little to no choice, so just go with it. If you’ve come for celebrity news, I’m going to have to direct you to and for your fix for the next couple of weeks, as I’m currently in the middle of a panic attack about moving to the frozen tundra and transforming into icecoaster, and that seems to bring out the Julian Assange fangirl in me, for whatever reason God only knows, and if he does I hope he’ll do me the kindness of keeping it to himself.

So, where was I? About to introduce you to this very interesting little bit of analysis from Van in the comments on a post on the JulianAssangeFancier’sGuild tumblr, and better proof all Tumblrs should have comments sections built in, you will not find. And why not? Because you probably weren’t looking for it in the first place, and even now you’re too lazy, ya bum. So that’s why.

Julian Assange’s handwriting (sample size: three words, you’ll note) analyzed:

Publish or Perish Julian Assange or you could just continue to get book deals and ghost writers

Publish or Perish Julian Assange or you could just continue to get book deals and ghost writers

1.  he doesn’t follow rules (letters are not straight and aligned)
2.  but he knows what he wants  (underlining)
3.  he doesn’t always complete things  (letters p and b are not closed)
4.  he’s confident and also careless ( how he dots his i’s)
5.  he’s not patient ( looking at the first letter h)
6.  at times he likes to be private ( looking at letters 4-6 in first word, it’s
close together unlike the other words)
7.  He’s likes children and enjoys playing with them (looking at 2nd word,
it’s written in a child-like way)
8.  He’s strict, does not bend or compromise (looking at the word (“or”)
9.  He’s a dreamer (handwriting slopes upwards)
10.  He’s unusual, different ( looking at letters u and b)
11.  He changes (looking at letters i, s and p)
12.  He’s not romantic (can’t pick up anything….I could be wrong)
nb:  …….these are just guesses……….hope he doesn’t get mad:)

Hmmm. Handwriting analysis: harmless fangirling Ouija board substitute, or dangerous intelligence? Having watched a world-class expert at work once (he worked with the police on the Paul Bernardo/Karla Homolka case, among others) I would say it’s probably more accurate than you’d expect, but less accurate than you can count on. Still, you can say one thing for it unequivocally: it gave me blog fodder when I needed it!

I for one do NOT welcome our same old Robotic Overlords

Jack Layton is the Redshirt

Jack Layton is the Redshirt

Once Jack Layton figured out the fundamental problem with his campaign wardrobe, it didn’t take him long to move into Stornoway. Clothing doesn’t make the man, but it DOES make the vote margin, it would seem.

Speaking of superficiality, click over the jump for today’s politically-themed celebrity links. Don’t worry, politics is just showbiz for ugly people, right?

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Bunny Bumpercars Hump Day Unicorn Chaser

I don’t know about you, but I could use one of these right now:

Bunny Bumpercars Unicorn Chaser. There, all better!

Bunny Bumpercars Unicorn Chaser. There, all better!

I cannot stop watching his little hat bounce. It’s always the little guys in hats who can’t drive, isn’t that what Bill Cosby says?

And here: a happy baby goat dancing with its human.

As if that were not enough to distract you from the near-universal meltdown/shakeup/shoot-em-up/wall of liquid death that’s going around lately, we have your daily dose of gossip links after the jump.

The fuck is this? The fuck was that?

The fuck is this? The fuck was that?

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James Bond supports International Women’s Day


Blond Bond done good

Blond Bond cleans up well

Yay, I finally found a reason to like Blond Bond. This little video is aweome.

Finally, some relief from the tsunami of tsheen this week.

Liveblogging morphine (raincoaster)

Charlie Sheen in the New Yorker (Lolebrity)

State of Grace (Ayyyy)

Mush! Mush! (ManoloFood)

Universal Studios > Cthulhu??? (AgentBedhead)

Jennifer Aniston’s video is viral the way herpes is (BusyBeeBlogger)

Job opportunity of the year for a gossip blogger (CelebDirtyLaundry)

RIP OD (CelebritySmack)

REM RT (CelebrityVIPLounge)

WINNING! photoshops (CityRag)

SO FAR, Demi. So far… (DailyStab)

Adele is pro-gossip (DippedInCream)

Everybody but me has a book deal and a sex tape (EarSucker)

Three planets that size make a solar plexus system (FitFabCeleb)

Remember Lily Allen? (GirlsTalkinSmack)

One gets Africa, one gets New York? (HaveUHeard)

Aw man, don’t bling that thing! (HollywoodHiccups)

They have country music in Belgium? (INeedMyFix)

Roseanne Barr and Charlie Sheen? (MathewGuiver)

KFed/FedX Xpands (PoorBritney)

“Country Music’s newest star” (PopBytes)


Bikini baby bump (TheSkinnyChic)


How to write a hit song, by Dave Grohl

LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 06:  Singer Pat Boo...

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

How awesome is this video of Dave Grohl teaching Tenacious D’s Kyle Gass how to write a hit song? It’s AWESOMELY AWESOME, that’s how awesome. “White people dance to the lyrics” is a gem which should go down in history.

Was that awesome enough for ya? Just in case it wasn’t, you can read our awesome gossip links too. That should take care of that nasty “free time”.

Angela Lansbury murders her whiskey (lolebrity)

Today in WTF (raincoaster)

Shoe horns and corn links (Ayyyy)

A toast to toast! (Manolofood)

Helen Mirren will kick your ass (AgentBedhead)

Still life with cocktails? WHERE’S MY INVITATION? (BusyBeeBlogger)

Justin Bieber gets waxed! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

The Man with the Golden Reality Show (CelebritySmack)

But was Timberlake naked, too? (CelebVIPLounge)

The Cougar Report (Cougared)

Mazel Tov, Alyssa Milano (DailyStab)

This is why Britney still has more money than you do (Earsucker)

Colin Firth is shameless (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Bieber buzzed (GossipTeen)

Lady Gaga is impervious to weather (HaveUHeard)

Billy Ray Cyrus is kittenwhipped (INeedMyFix)

Britney’s video fallout (PoorBritney)

Faye Dunaway flies coach, gets punk’d (PopBytes)

Kate Beckinsale uses her boobs as a pet carrier? (TheSkinny)

Baby Spice 4.0 on the way (SkinnyChic)


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