in context, everything makes perfect sense

From Fortean Times:St. Dymphna

15 May. St Dymphna's Day. She is the patron saint of the insane, but she too is just in the mind, probably derived from ma dompna ('my lady') the traditional address of a mediaeval poet to his lady-love.

Makes perfect sense that the patron saint of the insane would herself be imaginary.

Tales from the Classroom

According to the US National Education Association, 50% of teachers drop out of the profession within five years. That's a particular shame, since more and more of them have advanced education degrees that are, of course, suitable to education and to nothing else except resume-stuffing. From Sploid.

No matter how much tax money is thrown at U.S. public schools, teachers have been dropping out at the same rate for decades.

And while only half of America's public-school students are still white kids, teachers are still dominated by the same middle-aged women who have always been teachers – and 90% of them are white.

"The average public school teacher is a 43-year-old white, married, religious female," the Detroit Free Press reported today. "About 75% of public school teachers are female."

One thing that has changed for teachers is that they've got more university degrees than ever before: a full 50% of them now hold Master's Degrees.

And the kids they're turning loose on the world are real idiots. Few can read, write, do basic math or even find Iraq on a map, while their simpleton parents are increasingly afraid of science.

Teacher

And on that note, perhaps it's time for a few little tidbits picked up by one of raincoaster's operatives over the Pond in the UK school system. It's as convoluted and politicized as the Knights Templar, and about as open and accessible, so I don't really know the correct terminology for the school in which she works, except that it's paid for by the taxpayers, rather than by rich parents or corporations seeking to mold consumers when their brains are still young, and children go there to give them something to do while their parents are at work and to give the parents a sense of complacency about the way that they turn out.

Or is that too bleak?

In any case, as the raincoaster offshore operative was handing out papers in class one day, she overheard a 16-year-old girl saying to her friends, "but why would anyone want a butt plug with a tail on it???" to which one can, of course, only reply: why would one want one without?

And later that term, walking down the hallway, the r.o.o. passed a cluster of boys discussing something of obvious nefarity, for they clammed up as she passed. Once they thought she was safely out of hearing one turned to the other and picked up where they'd presumably left off.

"So should I shave my balls then?"

R.o.o. cried "Too much information, lads!" and they scattered as if pursued by the hounds of hell.

Hmmmmm. Perhaps we've discovered the source of those "married, religious" women's discomfort with the teaching profession.

The Doctor Seuss Bible, by the Kids in the Hall

Vatican to Creationists: Suck it!

Cardinal and GalileoVia BoingBoing.

The Vatican never actually abandoned the practice of keeping pet scientists, a fact which I welcome with equal parts relief and shock, for they have been very quiet lo these last four centuries. I didn't think they'd ever recovered from the Galileo PR disaster.

But there are scientists at the Vatican, and one, Brother Consolmagno, is in fact an astronomer, and not only is he over that Galileo thing, he's also over that Copernicus thing, and he's right out there giving interviews to The Scotsman in which he says…

Copernican View

"Religion needs science to keep it away from superstition and keep it close to reality, to protect it from creationism, which at the end of the day is a kind of paganism – it's turning God into a nature god. And science needs religion in order to have a conscience, to know that, just because something is possible, it may not be a good thing to do."

He also had a few pithy points to make about Papal PR as well.

Brother Consolmagno, who was due to give a Pope checks out the eclipsespeech at the Glasgow Science Centre last night, entitled "Why the Pope has an Astronomer", said the idea of papal infallibility had been a "PR disaster". What it actually meant was that, on matters of faith, followers should accept "somebody has got to be the boss, the final authority".

"It's not like he has a magic power, that God whispers the truth in his ear," he said.

Dubai: Land of Laughs

I'm not an American, but from time to time I can't help but feel bad for the poor buggers, like when their president tries to sell their ports to people like this. Mind you, I like people like this, but I wouldn't be selling my ports to them; there's the ones you date, and the ones you take home to momma and sell your ports to, and these are not the latter. Wisdom and good times from a Dubai taxi driver, via Gridskipper.

Cabbie: Where are you from?
Us: Washington, D.C. in the United States.
C: You know George Bush?
U: (polite laughter) No, we’ve never met him.
C: You know Osama Bin Laden?
U: (slight discomfort) No…. We’ve never met him either.
C: Do you want to meet him?
U: (wondering where he’s going with this) Um… no. (sincerely hoping that we’re not on our way to see him right now)
C: I want to meet him very much.
U: Uhhh… Really? Why?
C: So that I could turn him in to the United States and gets lots and lots of American dollars. (hysterical guffaws)
U: (relieved smiles) Oh, okay.
C: No, I couldn’t do that. They would kill all my family. (another explosion of hilarity)
U: (polite but uncomfortable laughter)