Is this truly the last thing Cthulhu sees, just before he's ripped to shreds? I thinkest so.
Because hey, who doesn't want their baby to look as if it's being devoured by one of the Elder Gods, eh?
Note: the Giant Squid is a blogger! Who knew?
I, my Semitic friend, am a GIANT SQUID. Archteuthis archteuthis. The terrible kraken of the deep. And my axons are as thick around as the tip of one of my tentacles, or as thick perhaps as your much-vaunted opposable thumb.
A friend of mine is involved in this website, Project Opus, which connects independent musicians and fans. I'm not the world's greatest music fan, it must be said, having been traumatized by a polka trio when I was a small child, but I'm all for supporting things that support people who need supporting (is there a Bras for the Homeless organization out there somewhere?) so I'm all over this.
"Our best bet was to use mineral oil, lube her up as best we could, and then try to pop her head out."
No, seriously. This is a legitimate news story!
"She was hyperventilating. Obviously, we didn't how long she'd been in the pipe," said Fulbright. "The best we could estimate, she'd been in there two hours. Our best bet was to use mineral oil, lube her up as best we could, and then try to pop her head out. Fortunately, that's what occurred."
Meanwhile, in San Salvador, authorities at La Esperanza Prison caught Lidia Alvarado, 44, trying to smuggle contraband in to her boyfriend. They found she was carrying some marijuana and a grenade … in her vagina.
Upon inspection cops found the 10-inch-long M-67 grenade to be "in working order."
Police have raised the security alert level at prisons all across the country. They suspect "the inmates are planning something."
Meanwhile in Texas, Piper is being held for 72 hours in the event someone claims her. If not, she'll be put up for adoption.
Both the grenade and the pipe were four inches wide.
Totally stole this entire thing, but since I stole it from two different sources it works out to being independently verified twice! So, yeah. So there!
Sitting together on a train, travelling through the
Canadian Rockies, were an American guy, a Canadian guy, a little old Greek lady, and a young blond German girl with large breasts.
The Train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the American has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one speaks.
The old Greek lady thinks: The American guy must have groped the blonde in the dark and she slapped his cheek. The German girl thinks: That American guy must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped his cheek.The American thinks: The Canadian guy must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.
The Canadian thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, just so I can smack the American again.
Ben & Jerry's, no longer owned or operated by either Ben or Jerry, finally catches on to the fact that not all of their customers think a "Black & Tan" ice cream will go down smoothly.
Ben & Jerry's, the socially aware ice-cream maker, has apologised to Irish consumers for launching a new flavour evoking the worst days of British military oppression.
Black and Tans, irate customers explained, was the term for an irregular force of British ex-servicemen recruited during the Irish war of independence and renowned for their brutality, including the 1920 massacre of 12 people at a Dublin football match.
Some things are still hard to swallow after seventy-six years.
raincoaster 