Cobras on a Plane!!!!!

Snakes on a Motherfucking Plane!!!!!

As previously reported on Gridskipper and the BoJo Blog, I have a snakes on a plane story of my very own. Well, it's my dad's, but since he died I think it now belongs to my sister and me, at least it does as long as nobody gives the evil ex-stepmother this URL. She's been known to liberate things from time to time, including my parents' wedding presents and heirloom furniture. But enough about her; you want to read about snakes on a PLANE.

Think about this the next time you're tempted to complain because the bag of honey-roasted peanuts was stale and the drinks cart ran out of V8.

My father was a mechanic with Canadian Airlines (later Air Canada). At one point the airline cheaped out and bought four or five used planes from Pakistan International Airlines. When they arrived there was a great deal of work to do to get them in shape, but virtually the first day a mechanic popped the cowling of one of the engines and was greeted by a startled and angry cobra. He didn’t get bit, but they did check the rest of the plane and found quite a few snakes, in fact, stowed away in warm spots. And figuring the others would be in similar shape, they parked the load of them outside in the Canadian winter for a week or so, just to make sure those cobras would be good and dead by the time someone had to work on the damn planes.

BTW the bulkhead between the refuse tanks and the cargo compartment had long since corroded away on a couple of the planes, so the Pakistani passengers’ luggage was essentially stewing in a chilled poop soup for the duration of their flights.

Breaking fast: Necronomicon Found!

Damn. I knew I left it someplace!Cthulhu sees you!

Fortunately, the British police have no idea what they've found. "Anthropodermic bibliopegy" indeed; they're just trying to normalize this to prevent a global panic. The fools! Mwahahahahaha.

When you happen to find an old book that you can't read, bound in human skin and lying by the side of the road in small-town nowheresville, your first reaction shouldn't be: gee, I can't read this, so it must be an old ledger. And it's just lying here, so it must have been dropped during a robbery of…that barn there. Or the sheep pen. Or maybe the badger hole. I'm sure it must be fairly common. People are always dropping old ledgers bound in human skin by the side of the road after committing robberies that have gone completely unreported and unnoticed. Happens all the time.

Honestly, is a Hound attack so implausible in that light?

This news surfaced the day after I'd made cheap jokes at the expense of Leeds, and just as I was putting together a blog entry on Ernest Angley. Not that there's any relationship between these completely independent incidents.

The End Times Are Upon Us! It's Easter, just the right time of the year for an Apocalypse. And it will be blogged, people.

Cthulhu ftagn, Cthulhu RSS!

Cthulhu peeps

Happy Birthday, Animation!

A ten-tentacle salute to Whatacharacter, who alerted me to the fact that April 7 was the 100th anniversary of animation. And here's an image from that very first film, Humorous Phases of Funny Faces:

Humorous Phases of Funny Faces

Update: Ah, now we have a controversy over whether or not it's just the 100th anniversary of American animation. Whodathunk whether or not a film was animated would be in question, but it is. Well, it's nice to see something that's more complicated than it first appears, rather than less; it satisfies the evil genius in me. And can you imagine what it was like 101 years ago? Because the idea of un-animated Americans is what I think of as a contradiction in terms.

And now some stuff from Windsor McKay, because he was also an early animator, and dude was way twisted, yo. Word. McKay, most famous for his Little Nemo series, produced a masterwork of early interactive journalism with his Dreams of the Rarebit Fiend. The premise was simply this: after eating something as cheese-laden as Welsh Rarebit, people tend to have vivid, strange dreams. And "Silas" as he was known, asked readers to send in their dreams, so he could illustrate them. It's an amazing gallery of the human mind. I'm not sure if the differences between these dreams and my own reflects the differences between individuals or the difference between times. Buy the book (reissued, thanks to a Seattle small press) and check it out for yourself.

We're lookin for daylight

And more of same:

McKay strip

  Anudder Mckay cartoon

yetanudder McKay cartoon

You getting the idea? Traaaaaast me, the dialogue is twice as twisted as the images most of the time. The scathing "Cannibal Meat Trust" episode was particularly memorable. And now for more of same:

Little Nemo

Rarebit Fiend

For those art aficionados among us

Sculpture is a paradoxical medium. Often provoking (It looks like Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug, but it isn’t really Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug, wow, that’s confusing, y’all. Art is hard!) yet equally often irresistably attracting, it confounds as it engages. We adore, yet we recognize the falsehood inherent in the artist’s physical manifestation of an actual, yet independent subject; do we worship, or abhor?

Sometimes both. Two-part post. Sometimes the difference between appreciation and loathing just comes down to a point of view.

 Britney giving Birth

Continue reading

Spot the error, win a burger and a boilermaker!

 

 

don't shoot the Canuck

The following contains at least one logical flaw. Identify the flaw(s) and explain the implications in the Comments Section. You have thirty minutes and six ounces of Jack Daniels to complete your assignment.

CONCERNED ABOUT TOO MANY CARBS IN YOUR DIET?

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1 The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.