Category Archives: Dating

for the necrophiliac in your life

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Men of Mortuaries

Get your ghoul on and help fight cancer by buying this Men of Mortuaries hawt undertaker calendar. Cuz really, aren’t we all over our fireman fetish by now?

The 2007 Men of Mortuaries™ Calendar is scheduled to be available in October of 2006. You may reserve your copy by giving us your e-mail address at the bottom of this page. When the calendars become available we will inform you.

Monies raised from the calendar will directly benefit KAMM foundation dedicated to the caring and assistance of people who are going through the treatment of breast cancer. Proceeds will provide these people assistance with such necessities as child care costs and groceries, to name just two. The primary goal of KAMM is to provide people going through cancer with more opportunities to make their lives better.

we are all Gwyneth

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From Gawker:

Gwyneth is African. Can't you tell?

And the riposte, also from Gawker:

Gwyneth, you're not as black as you're gonna wish you were when Gawker gets through with you

what not to wear…on a date with Darren Sherman

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Everybody remember the hapless Darren Sherman of How Not to JDate? And, of course, who could forget the moving soundtrack to the undoubtably already-in-pre-production musical?Remember when Nirvana said that the Weird Al parody meant that they’d really made it? Well, in the wardrobe equivalent of Weird Al immortalization, you can now wear the unofficial Darren and Joanne Date From Hell t-shirt.

Getcha Darren and Joanne t-shirts heyah!

Thanks to Arnell Boone in the comments section, and of course to PR Differently for breaking the story in the first place.

he’s a regular guy now!

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A bizarre little Nutrigrain ad from the Eighties.
I don’t know what they put in those bars, but I’ll have what he’s having!

master of the zombie boner

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Shaun of the Dead; boy meets ghoulsFor lo, we are an equal-opportunity gonad-make-funner here on the raincoaster blog.

Ya just can’t get a better headline than that one, eh? So I stole it wholesale from Gawker, who did this report pointing to a New York Observer piece on a cosmetic …penologist? who works his sexy magic with whatever bits of Alastair Cooke he can get on the black market out behind Dino’s.

In the name of enlargement, he’s prepared to sever its ligaments, yank it further out of your groin, inject it with fat, and wrap it an am empowering sheath of dead flesh. Not girthy enough? Fear not:

Right now, there are two methods of adding girth to a penis: injecting fat, or wrapping the penis in layers of cadaver skin.

Both have drawbacks, in that the body would like to absorb both fat and skin. Even corpse skin.

So in a way, your significant other gets to engage in a threesome that’s (at least) one-third necrophillic.

Cue the Lovecraft…ah, that’s how he got the name. I gets it now.

Aim for the Head!